You live in a crap area with crap schools...what do you do?

[sundayrose10]

Rejected from all near better borough schools. Do I get in debt to send child private OR send child to local comp school where gangs/fighting is all part of the norm.

It's shit.

The school my son was at in Essex was ranked as one of the lowest in the countries, my son still managed to get 10 A grade GCSE's he has almost finished his degree.

My youngest went to one of the worst schools in the country, he achieved his GCSE's not at the grades I wanted because the teachers just did not teach as the pupils at the school were assholes, but he passed.

He is now on schedule to get A* A levels and will also go to Uni.

Tis not the school, tis the pupil if they want to succeed they will. My children are proof of that.

Lots of "rough" comps are good schools. I live in Peckham, South East London. The area is quite rough, but lots of the schools have seen huge investment recently and are flourishing. Also, things change very fast. A school can be bad but a new head can change things remarkably fast.

All schools will have bullying, bad behaviour, etc. It's how the school deals with it when it happens that matters.

If your son is bright enough to get accepted by a private school (most will have enterance exams) then he should be in the top stream at a comp & hopefully with other pupils who want to learn, not muck about.

I agree that you should go & visit the school you have been allocated before making a decision.

I would also say that you shouldn't assume that all private schools are wonderful places. There are plenty of shit private schools out there and even the good ones have their probs. All schools do.

DH teaches at one of the best private girls schools in the country - it has a HUGE problem with eating disorders and drug abuse.

Look round the school, talk to the staff. If your child is bright then he/she should be in streamed classes with other bright kids who will also want to succeed.

There were no bright children in my youngest sons school. They aimed to just get them there not teach them as the majority were wronguns. There was not one lesson that was taught properly due to the unruly behaviour of the other children.

A lot of the girls has babies at 15, barely any went to sixth form. Most are now out of work. Terrible at 17.

Kids should not be able to leave school until 18 and should be made to take A levels.

I went in and said he is gifted what about helping, they said they had to go with the majority of the children, the minority were clever, the majority were just plain thick.

I think getting into debt is totally wrong for the sake of your child's education. University debt is ok as your child will likely carry that burden and there is no harm in paying for your child's university fees.

I wonder Fabby if you somehow instilled in your children that they had to reach certain standards.

Obviously if there is a serious gang culture and your child could be bullied then that is a tough one. I'm not from the UK originally but in those cases can you not appeal against the decision?

I assume moving's not an option because it's not one of the choices you give in your original post.

I'm not going to comment on whether or not you should send DC to the school you're not happy about. It's good to hear so much from other posters about how their DCs did well at schools that, on the surface, don't seem 'good'. Mine attend a very 'low performing' and unpopular school and are very happy and learning well at the moment.

Back to you. Fast forward 10/20 years. Unless things go very well at the local school you could be beating yourself up about how it could have been if you'd found the money somehow. Everything that goes wrong there, no matter how small could trigger that parental guilt - whether or not it's deserved. Put simply, and craply, debt might be easier to control than guilt.

Having said all that... I do tend to agree with those posters who are more positive about the local, state choice. Go see the school, find out more. Do they stream? If so, at what age and in what subjects? What are the facilities like for the subjects your DC enjoys/does well in? How is the school day structured etc etc.

And good luck.

Suggest you try to keep an open mind and see the school for yourself. I've heard teachers say that in secondary, it mostly comes down to the natural ability of the child and the support they get from home. Once some of the less motivated kids leave, the ones who stay are wanting to learn and benefit from the teaching. Gangs sound serious though. Suggest you ask the teachers about this