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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

topretty much let dd whos 4 this summer, choose her own clothes, which i buy for her

31 replies

carriedababi · 05/03/2011 10:35

beacause frankly i can't be rsed buyiing things she doesn't want to wear, and the hassle of tryign to get her to put soomething on she doesn't like.

i let her pick her clothes from the boden catalogue, the next website, and matalan and tescos

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 05/03/2011 10:36

YANBU, as long as you are happy with her choices, where's the problem?

hairylights · 05/03/2011 10:37

Yanbu. I think it's lovely! She is learning about choice and self expression.

Happymm · 05/03/2011 10:37

Have to do the same with my DD-has had a strong sense of her own style and identity since she was 2! :o

Imnotaslimjim · 05/03/2011 10:38

I totally agree. We've had a lot of clothes donated, but some of them are really girly and DD is a proper tomboy that prefers jeans! So some of her clothes stay hung in the wardrobe untouched as she simply won't wear them. As long as you are happy with the choices, go for it!

cory · 05/03/2011 10:39

Nice if you can afford it and her choices are good. Personally I would have found we ended up with too much fluff and not enough sensible clothes to enable dd to play outside. But quite likely you have a more sensible dd.

squeakytoy · 05/03/2011 10:43

Its reasonable if she is picking age suitable clothing, and not trying to dress like Rhianna.

My grandaughter would spend her days dressed as a fairy princess complete with flowing gowns and tiara if she could but her mother doesnt allow it fortunately.

therealmrsbeckham · 05/03/2011 10:44

Yanbu. My DD has been choosing her own clothes (with my guidance) since she was 4 (she's now 10). DS1 is 4 and he loves clothes shopping even more than me

I believe that it teachs them how to make choices and i also give them a budget.

Original poster

carriedababi · 05/03/2011 10:49

yes i sort of guide her, i'll say right we need two t shirts and a pair of shorts etc which ones do you like etc

she does actually seem to have quite good taste although its very girly pink and flowery.
i'm hoping shell get over the pink as she gets older!

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/03/2011 10:50

She might never get over it...

Original poster

carriedababi · 05/03/2011 10:51

therealmrsb, yes i knew kids at school that had a budget, which they had to get everything the needed from, school stuff, going out, clothes etc

they were pretty smart sensible kids

i don't think i would have been so sensible if i was given an allowence!

OP posts:

overmydeadbody · 05/03/2011 10:52

yanbu.

I do the same with ds, who is now 8, and into wearing ties, so I have made him one!

Original poster

carriedababi · 05/03/2011 10:55

oh thats good omdb

OP posts:

HeavenForfend · 05/03/2011 10:57

I do this - the dds (7 and 5) circle things they like in the catalogues and I buy a few of their selected items (if I like them ).

Dd1 LOVES doing this and takes the catalogues to bed with her.

DooinMeCleanin · 05/03/2011 10:58

YANBU but I did this dd1 who is now 7 and has a very string sense of self and what she likes and doesn't like. Which is all fine and well, apart from when it comes to uniform shopping and we get the inevitable "And I am not wearing that. I'd rather die "

RustyBear · 05/03/2011 10:59

I used to do the same with DD (though not from Boden; not sure if that was even around when DD was 4)
I would let her pick her own clothes, but they had to be what she needed, not what she wanted, so I wouldn't let her pick a flimsy top if she needed a warm jumper/sweatshirt.

She had phases- a pink/godly one at about 4, which may have been a reaction from the fact that as a toddler with an older brother & two older boy cousins, she tended to wear a lot of more boyish clothes as a toddler. But the pink phase didn't last long, though she still liked dresses they tended to be in stronger colours as she got older.

She has developed a very good dress sense (better than mine!) and has been responsible for buying all her clothes since we started giving her an allowance, which I think was when she was 13/14.

seeker · 05/03/2011 10:59

I used to let my dd choose her own things from charity shops. That way she could dress like Trailer Trash Barbie in the privacy of her own home at very little expese!

She now has the sharpest eye for a good bit of vintage I';ve ever come across, and is an incredibly stylish if quirky dresser.

RustyBear · 05/03/2011 11:02

DD had a pink/ girly phase at 4, not a 'godly' one. As far as I know, she's never had one of those, despite what iPad autocorrect seems to think....

DooinMeCleanin · 05/03/2011 11:06

Dd1 is at the moment still toying with the idea of becoming a goth or a punk (I blame my sister) but she is far too fussy and girly to get it right She hates pink though.

It's skinny jeans, ugg style boots and sequined vest tops with bolero cardis that get her vote at the moment or leggings with over sized jumpers. But she is still desperate for a 'proper' skull t-shirt. Not one of those silly girly skull tops that Next sell.

She would, apparently, rather die than wear sports clothes or frilly dresses.

Original poster

carriedababi · 05/03/2011 12:32

dooin, what age os your dd1?

what age do children start to want to become goths!

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 05/03/2011 13:54

She is 7 going on 17. This phase started after my sister took her into the local goth shop.

She took a liking to all the bright coloured skull tops.

LIZS · 05/03/2011 14:02

Will she have to wear a uniform at school ? just wondering if offering too much choice now coudl mean battles later.

ceebeegeebies · 05/03/2011 14:07

DS1 has been very clear about what he will and won't wear since he turned 2 so I tend to let him choose what he wants (similar to you about saying 'you need some new trousers, which ones do you want' etc rather than give him free rein).

I thought (as another poster has said) that it might cause problems with school uniform as he has very strong views about what he will wear (and there seems to be no logic to it either) but he started Reception in September and has never once complained about wearing his uniform and happily gets it out of his drawer every morning to put on (probably helps that it is blue which is his fave colour )

I waas given a monthly clothes allowance from being about 11 (mainly cos my mum hated shopping so it was far easier for her) and it worked really well - I will definitley be doing that with my 2 boys when they grow up.

AMumInScotland · 05/03/2011 14:18

When it comes to school uniform, you can still usually give them some choice. One girl in DSs primary class had come from France where they don't have uniforms, and she liked being able to pick her outfit every day. So her mum bought her a "capsule wardrobe" of things which met the criteria - 1 each of trousers, skirt, pinafore dress, jumper, cardi, sweatshirt, assorted tops, and she could have her own choice of outfit every day while still meeting the requirements. It didn't work out any more expensive than buying 3 skirts & 3 cardis would have done.

DooinMeCleanin · 05/03/2011 14:25

Yes dd1 still has choice with uniform. She wears uniform, she is just very particular about what sort of uniform she will wear. Which makes nipping down to Tesco to buy it all in one go a bit more dofficult.

Polo shirts are a big no no - boys wear them.
plain shirts - boys wear them.
Sweaters - boys wear them
Trousers - boys wear them
Skirts - very much depends upon the type of skirt, but in general she is not fussed.
Woollen cardigans - make her itch.

She will wear fitted blouses - but not long sleeved or 3 quater sleeves, pinafores - but not jersey ones, gingham dresses and at the moment she has some jersey swing cardigans that she loves from Next.

Of course I could make her wear the polo shirts - which are cheaper but there would be a massive tantrum every morning.

Onetoomanycornettos · 05/03/2011 14:44

I don't give mine much of a choice about what I buy as I buy everything in the sales or on a discount! I have a good idea what they like, which is pretty much everything 'pretty' and 'flowery' but not necessarily pink. They get to choose one item or outfit every now and again if we are altogether in a store, and they get to choose their outfits on weekends. But some of the tales on here smack slightly of pandering, what happens if you can't afford to get the outfit they choose?

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