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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that people who say they are "busy" just have poor time mangement?

30 replies

HannahHack · 04/03/2011 13:40

Seriously, I have had people who do exactly the same job as me tell me my job is "easy" as I am not as stressed out as them.

AIBU?

OP posts:

iamthere · 04/03/2011 13:41

Not everyone has the ability to be really organised... I know I don't, and someone telling me that I just have poor time management would annoy me!

Perhaps they are stressed about more than just work?

Ephiny · 04/03/2011 13:42

YANBU in my case. I am constantly busy and stressed and late for things, even when I have plenty of time, because the more time I have the more time I waste. Such as spending hours on here!

Ormirian · 04/03/2011 13:42

It is possible to be busy and organised.

MrsKwazii · 04/03/2011 13:42

Is it the same job in the same company? If so, YANBU. If they are at another organisation YABU. There are always some people whow want to be seen as 'busy and important' though and perhaps they think that you're making them look bad by being cool, calm and collected? Their problem, not yours.

scaryteacher · 04/03/2011 13:45

It depends on what you do compared to them. I had colleagues who were out of the door at 1530 every day when I was teaching....but I taught over 600+ students a week, and they didn't - so was my time management poorer than theirs, or did I have a greater work load because I saw more classes for 1 hour a week than they did, and because I taught 3 subjects as opposed to their one?

shaz298 · 04/03/2011 13:45

In some cases you'll be right and in others you would be very unreasonable, but it wouldn't do it we were all the same.

I am the very busy and organised type..........

LionRock · 04/03/2011 13:50

When I hear "busy" I translate it to "it's not a priority for me". Which could be a polite let-down or an avoidance of something they'd rather not do.

Time is the only thing that we all have the same amount of. There's 24 hours in a day for us all. It's how we spend it that shows our own priorities and preferences and that's fine with me.

BuzzLiteBeer · 04/03/2011 15:01

I'm fucking busy and so would you be, time management or not. Do you want a "you're so awesome" medal or something?

giveitago · 04/03/2011 15:04

I'm properly busy. It shouldn't be this way but sadly I am. Middle aged, knackered and stressed and world wearly busy.

But hey ho I deal with it.

OP - glad you're having a better time.

Flisspaps · 04/03/2011 15:05

Maybe you're not that great so people are giving others with the same job more work to do to make up for your crapness shortcomings

TheArmadillo · 04/03/2011 15:09

some people have excellent time management and are still busy
some people have poor time managment and so are busy
some just think it makes them sound important
some are bad at managing their time
others use it just so people will leave them alone

some enjoy being busy and some don't

too many variables

it is annoyning when people think youhave it easy just cos you don't moan about things all the time or get stressed out over every little thing or just assume noone can possibly be as busy as they are (all trademark my mother)

Baggypussy · 04/03/2011 15:35

Hannah, YANBU. I tend to get a lot of 'ooh, well XYZ makes XYZ easy for you', both in my (old) professional & personal life.

No, it's not easier for me. It's just that a)I actively THINK about what tasks need to be achieved in what order to maximise my time, and b) I actually get on with said job in hand as oppose to moaning that it needs to be done.

Now, who's going to pass me my 'smug' badge?

chipmonkey · 04/03/2011 15:50

What about me?
I have four dc's
I work four days a week.
I also run a small business from home on my non-working days.

IMO I am busy, rather than disorganised!

TrillianAstra · 04/03/2011 15:51

Some poeple are busy.

Some have poor time management.

Some are pretending to be busy because they don't want to be asked to do more work.

Some are MNing during work hours

Ooid · 04/03/2011 15:54

I think a lot, my head is busy (my work is very thinky and less doey).
I also use 'I'm busy' as a way of not taking on things I don't want to do out of principle, or that I know I will be bad at and won't therefore enjoy. Yes I could manage my time so that I could do them, but it's not like my work and family wouldn't have to give. So I just don't.
I probably look like I do fark all but I am raking it in on the quiet .

Oblomov · 04/03/2011 16:01

Most people are busy becasue they choose to be.
One lady in my playground is always busy. Am not surprised. She has 3 dc, is a therapist/ acupunturist. she's training to be a doula. thye are having a huge etension. she volunteers to do the pre school - all the admin, all the stall at the local fayre. she is our student rep for her eldest dc.
I wonder why she does all these things.
Or can she just not say no.
Every social event I am invited to, I go to. I would like more, but I guess once a month or so is o.k. I work p/t and spend 2 days with ds2. I take ds1 to 2 activities.
Along with cooking and cleaning, thats enough for me. I am sure I could fit in a hobby if I wanted to. But I don't want to.

I have loads of time on my hands. Becasue I make it thta way. Sometimes I get pressurised and stressed. But really that is no ones fault but my own. If I got off my arse a bit earlier, I could probbaly prevent most of thta.

If your life is so busy, thats its too much. Then change it. It really is that simple.

BluddyMoFo · 04/03/2011 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsDuCroissant · 04/03/2011 16:04

Wot armadillo said

I have a friend who's constantly "busy" (I had a whingy thread about him a while back when I repeatedly ended up having to buy and cook for dinner he was "hosting" because he was too "busy" to do it himself. Long story) and I have concluded

he's disorganised
he spends way too much time faffing
he's really unfocused.

Ooid · 04/03/2011 16:09

Oblomov
really truly some people can't bear not to be involved in things. They feel they are missing out, and they like the 'glory' of being a busy and effective person. I knew one woman who actually disliked doing a lot of the things she took on, but admitted to me once that she couldn't stand the idea of being seen as not capable of doing the things she was asked to. It was rather sad. She said she loved the image of herself as really involved and interesting, but it was really hard to maintain.

Me, I just said I get my satisfaction from within and don't look for external validation Not strictly true but I'm not bothered about being seen as busy.

StarlightMcKenzie · 04/03/2011 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PepsiPopcorn · 04/03/2011 16:21

YANBU. None of us really know the stress other people might be under. As far as jobs are concerned the grass is often greener on the other side and people will assume someone else's job is stress-free because they've never tried it themselves. We can't judge how "busy" anyone else is. Anyway, why should life be a competition to be the "busiest" person?

youngjoly · 04/03/2011 16:21

I think it can be a bit of both.

Yes, some people are busy because they waste time. But then again, others have lots of free time because they don't do their jobs properly.

I used to have a colleague (teacher) who used to boast about his excellent time management skills, and how he never stayed too late, never took work home etc - but he really was an awful teacher, the kids hated him, said his lessons were really boring and just uninspiring. He didn't have good time management skills - he just did half a job!

I also think it will also depend on what pressures you have also got outside of work,, because that will have an impact too.

As for me, I'm always busy - partly because I do take on too much (0.6 teaching job, 2 x children with lots of hobbies, doing a part time masters degree, do part time marking, help out on PTA etc etc). But I do actually waste a fair bit of time too.

twolittlemonkeys · 04/03/2011 16:30

At my last job (prior to going on maternity leave) there were 5 of us doing the 'same job'. One always seemed to have time on her hands to browse the internet whilst the rest of us were working away. Her desk was always clear and I wondered how she did it. Turned out (from speaking to colleagues in other roles) her work was renowned for being rushed and sloppy (ie she didn't check letters, adverts she'd written for inaccuracies etc) and those further along in the process had to pick up the slack for her. So we were all busier than her simply because we were doing our jobs more thoroughly.

That said, different people deal with things differently and some find a heavy workload easier to deal with than others. No biggie. YABU.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 04/03/2011 16:30

I think people who are properly busy generally dont have time to complain that they are busy.

I also think that people who say they are busy tend to have a lot of different things whizzing in their mind and struggle to prioritise which are the most important so that it feels overwhelming.

Ooid · 04/03/2011 16:32

OhYouBadKitten, that is me!
Brain constantly buzzing. It's a problem.
I am also terribly thorough and so can't do something public unless it's perfect. Tut tut at myself.

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