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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To run to the post box while the baby was sleeping??

78 replies

susieshrinking · 04/03/2011 00:37

I live in a culdisac... The postbox is at the top of the culdisac plus about 4 houses (semi's, So 2 full size houses)

Today my baby (5 months) was fast asleep in her cot, and I had a pile of post (insurance, birth certificate for passport etc) that had to be sent off, so shut (bit didn't lock) the door and ran to the postbox and back. I was 2 minutes.

To wake her up and get to the box for last post would have been ridiculous??

DH went mad when I mentioned this when he got in... I reason that it's the same as having a huge garden and leaving your baby asleep while gardening.

He's very annoyed. Spare room annoyed.

AIBU? Or rather... WIBU to have done this???

OP posts:

Ephiny · 04/03/2011 12:24

If you were literally just two minutes I really don't see the problem. Like you say it's not really much different from going into the garden, you probably weren't even out of sight of the house! I probably would have locked the door but am quite over-cautious about that sort of thing given the area we live in and recent bad experiences...

RossettiConfetti · 04/03/2011 12:26

"Cease, desist from this terrible pernicious guilt."

YAdefinitelyNBU. It's a perfectly reasonable, normal thing to do.
Take your door key, double check you have the door key, lock the door. You were gone for less than 120 seconds, and never out of sight of your house.

Your baby can't go anywhere, if she's in the cot. The chances of anything happening are one in a billion (or similar).

Would it be worse to be immersed in gardening at the bottom of your garden, where you are more than 120 seconds from your baby's cot?

Or, as I was the other week, what if you're sick (flu) and stuck vomiting in the loo, having rushed there in a split second, while your toddler is round the corner in the living room, with the family dog, shouting for your attention?

Your DH is being unreasonable and a little deluded. Give him a week of being the main carer and he'd soon change his tune.

butternut234 · 04/03/2011 12:30

Gosh I honestly thought every response on here would be yes you are being unreasonable. I'd be absolutely furious if my baby was left alone in my house by my DH.

justcarrots29 · 04/03/2011 12:34

Well I don't think YWBU, however, I wouldn't do it because it is a slippery slope.
If everyone thought this way it would soon turn from 2 mins, always in sight of the house and child asleep

to just five mins at shop for milk whilst child stood in cot playing

to 10 mins nattering with a neighbour outside the shop while child plays in the lounge alone etc etc.

But YWNBU doing this as long as it doesn't become a habit.

Spammead · 04/03/2011 12:35

YANBU.

IcingOnTheCakes · 04/03/2011 12:41

YANBU. It is no different to going out in the garden and putting the washing or something. We have a letter box across the road and i go used to post a letter with the baby in the house still.

feekychucker · 04/03/2011 12:42

My uncle went to the corner shop for a pint of milk, whilst he was gone the house caught fire. My 5 year old cousin died from smoke inhalation. My uncle was only gone for 5 minutes, if he had been there as the smoke alarm went off he would have been able to save him. I know this is not going to happen everytime you leave a child, but it has meant that I could never leave mine.

Deciduousblonde · 04/03/2011 12:46

I recall a story I read about a woman who had a bath, slipped & banged her head on the side & died.

Her children were in the house, her husband was working away. She lived in a remote part of the countryside..I won't dwell on what happened next, but let's just say if you live your lives on what could happen in any scenario, we would have to be living in an institution. It would drive you insane..

CPtart · 04/03/2011 12:49

YANBU, but I would have locked the door.

worraliberty · 04/03/2011 12:56

Of course YANBU. Your husband on the other hand totally is!

As someone else said, how do people hang washing out when they live in a flat? Struggle down the stairs with the baby in the basket too?

nannyl · 04/03/2011 12:59

At MILs. house the postbox is in their garden wall.

will have no problem if she ever feels like posting a letter when looking after my baby!....

if its so close you can see it from the driveway / gate whatever then i dont see the huge issue....

In MILs house the end of the garden would be much further away... wont stop them going in their garden while my baby sleeps either!

LionRock · 04/03/2011 13:02

Going slightly off topic... (and agree it was a reasonable thing to do)

I'm expecting my first baby and have been thinking about this sort of thing, if I am having a shower alone at home am I neglecting the baby? It's got a bit OTT surely? Also what are you meant to do if you took the baby shopping by car and can't bring everything back into your house in one trip? Do you take the baby into the house then go outside for the rest of the shopping OR leave the baby in the car 'til last? It's like those puzzles about crossing a river with a chicken, fox and bag of grain (except with a baby, shopping and the threat of social services).

Why can't we trust our own judgement any more?

MrsRhettButler · 04/03/2011 13:04

okay okay... it was me with the spontaneous combustion comment so i shall explain, i did actually say that i didn't think she was unreasonable for walking to the end of her road i would do that anytime while baby was sleeping and have done, rather like putting your bins out and then wlking over to a neighbours door to have a chat

the reason for my comment was that when my brother and i were small we were both sleeping and my mum had to get to the post office round the corner before it closed and she ummed and ahhhed over whether or not to wake us, in the end she did wake us and take us and to this day she thanks god she did because while she was waiting in line somebody tried to rob the post office and the police came and kept everyone inside for questioning for nearly 2 hours! (wouldn't let anyone leave) my mum said she falt sick thinking about what would have happened had she left us at home, for a start she would have had to admit to doing so to the police who no doubt would have contacted ss

i'm not saying i judge people who do, i admitted to doing it myself, i just know that these things can happen

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 04/03/2011 13:07

YANBU - though I would have taken a key & locked the door.

worraliberty · 04/03/2011 13:10

MrsRhett If your Mum had told the Police she had two kids at home in bed, they would have made sure to send someone to look after you or they would have escorted her to your home.

MrsRhettButler · 04/03/2011 13:17

yes she realises that we would have been ok, but she didn't relish the thought of admitting she had left us there alone and lets face it ss would have been notified and who really wants that just for the sake of sugar from the shop or posting a letter? again not aimed at the op she wnbu

leothelioness · 04/03/2011 13:17

I don't see the big deal, as long as you had your keys with you. When DS was a baby I lived on the second floor in an apartment so had to go downstairs to put the rubbish out. DH travelled alot to often there was just us. I did not want to have to bundle him up just to put the bins/ recycling outside so I went down when he was napping.

MrsKwazii · 04/03/2011 13:18

You were out of the house for two minutes. Of course YANBU. And everyone who says she was chill.

OP, I'd lock the door next time though And your Dh is spare room annoyed. Tell him to get a grip.

worraliberty · 04/03/2011 13:19

Why MrsRhett it's not illegal unless she left you in obvious danger and of course, she didn't.

holymary · 04/03/2011 13:22

YANBU!!!!!! Most definitely.
FGS, you could be more than two mins in the loo and no one would bat an eye.
As for something freakish happening to you when you were out, well something freakish could have happened to you had you stayed in.

Please do not let your DH get to you about this...his reaction is more concerning than anything. And show him this thread!!

timeforachangearooney · 04/03/2011 13:23

lionrock just made me splutter my coffee :)

YANBU by the way

solooovely · 04/03/2011 13:29

It doesn't sound like it was very far! I ran to the ice cream van the other day.

MrsKwazii · 04/03/2011 13:30

Ah LionRock, you have many years ahead of you of being accompanied into the bathroom and toilet I'm afraid. And, during potty training, being given a round of applause when you wee or poo even if you're in a public loo

MamaLazarou · 04/03/2011 13:32

YANBU, I would do the same.

LionRock · 04/03/2011 14:01

MrsK

I'm looking forward to the positive feedback on my toileting! My dog sometimes follows me to the loo or shower but then she just wanders off without giving me any praise at all

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