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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not like onion tops on my daughters?!

53 replies

confuddledDOTcom · 03/03/2011 02:11

My youngest's hair is about 1-2" long, it barely touches her forehead. She went out for the day with Mum yesterday to play with her cousin and SIL put her hair in two onion tops! I'm not a fan of them in anyone's hair, but fair enough it's your child but I HATE them in my child's hair! They know this I complained enough with my eldest.

Oh and they were in so tight that they were in for two whole days without moving and she cried when I took them out because it was so hard to grip and elastic bands so it pulled her hair!

Don't get me wrong, my eldest's hair comes down her back, she's like me and loves it long, I do a double french plait for school every morning and we play hair dressing where I put it up in different styles for her (not quite like that princess hair blog if anyone's seen it but different things to the normal) but when it comes to baby hair, it needs to be left alone! She doesn't have a lot and it's really fine, what's the point in these silly little bits of sticky up tufts???

OP posts:
eastegg · 03/03/2011 09:53

I agree baby girls' hair should be left alone to do it's own thing, apart from when it needs to be kept out of the eyes in which case you can just use a simple clip, no need for 'onions'. I don't even have any DDs so I am being very judgey. SIL used to put silly things in her DDs hair and it's stopped as she's got more hair. I think she was over-compensating for lack of hair earlier on. It just makes me think 'why' because it's surely so much easier not to do it.

2rebecca · 03/03/2011 09:56

I dislike hair furniture on children. People can do what they like with their own kids but mine were never treated like dolls by relatives and if they had been I'd have had words and not been keen for them to have them unsupervised until I felt sure they wouldn't treat them as objects.

2rebecca · 03/03/2011 09:59

Agree re cutting elastic bands with scissors and do find it odd you didn't just do that as soon as you got her back. It's hard to complain you hated it if you left her hair alone. It can't have been comfortable sleeping like that so you sound a bit ambivalent about it.

SequinsAndSparkles · 03/03/2011 09:59

How old is your daughter?

I have been tying my daughters hair up since she was about 18 months, and she's got tons of it, very curly and wild...if I don't tame it to some extent it's all knotty and tangled by the end of the day and difficult to brush.

DH's gran seems to have taken issue with it though! 'If she was my daughter, I'd never tie back all of those beautiful curls. What a shame!' Hmm

bonkers20 · 03/03/2011 10:10

Does your SIL only have boys? I have two boys and just love to play with my nieces' hair. Granted I'd never put elastic bands in them so they hurt, but I don't think she'd mind that much if I had a little play around. I'd respect her wishes though.

I actually think the onion tops can look quite cute but maybe in a toddler who is growing her hair. It's surely the best way to keep the hair out of their eyes all day.

I'm with you on the head tourniquet though. They just look silly on a baby with a boiled egg for a head!

TruthSweet · 03/03/2011 10:24

Call them 'pineapples' round here! Onion is good though Grin

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 03/03/2011 10:28

I think I will have to give my DD an onion top. Her hair is in her eyes now and she won't wear a clip. Will I be judged and a cruel/vain mother??

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/03/2011 10:33

I wouldn't have been pleased about the elastic band and the hurting aspect, of course, but I can't get worked up about tying a bit of their hair up. It's not in the same league as baby nail varnish, ear piercing etc, it's a complete non issue. DD never had them, could hardly be bothered to do my own hair never mind hers, but if she had come home with one I'd probably have laughed and taken a photo.

CharlieCoCo · 03/03/2011 10:35

when i was younger they were called pineapple lol

Olessaty · 03/03/2011 10:43

It serves a purpose in my DDs hair, she's two and has very fine hair which falls forwards into her face and eyes. It's too short to tie back in a ponytail and often it gets very messy when she sleeps, the tidiest, most convenient way to have it is in an onion top or with to little bunches and the rest down the back of her head. I don't see the point when there is barely any hair there though, just for looks then, rather than for function, no point in it.

ambarth · 03/03/2011 11:40

my daughter had a pony tail at 6 months old but she was born with a LOT of hair. Didn't hurt her though, wouldn't have done it if it did. Seems a bit pointless on the baby in the photo.

Deciduousblonde · 03/03/2011 13:02

I couldn't use clips either..the hair was so fine the clips would slide out or I was scared about it sticking into her head when she was asleep!

Ormirian · 03/03/2011 13:04

Why? In the name of all that is decent, WHY? Why do that to baby hair? It looks ridiculous and is quite unneccesary. the other thing I dislike irrationally is hairbands on babies with no hair Hmm

bubblebabeuk · 03/03/2011 13:07

seriously you left them in for two days???? Hmm

FluffyMuff · 03/03/2011 13:10

I have no opinion on 'Onion Tops' other than to say you are not a bad mother if you do chose to do it to your DD. (I think that's what OP says - she doesn't like it in HER child's hair)

However.

That link to the god-awful hairbands with ponytails - WHAT ON EARTH!!!!!!??????

That is a seriously bad parenting choice. It's freaky.

SmethwickBelle · 03/03/2011 13:11

As mother to two boys if I had a daughter and the hair was beginning to get long and messy I'd probably get out the clippers and give her a number four all over without thinking. Grin

Or maybe I would overcompensate dramatically with onion tops, ribbon grips, bands and bonnets and all manner of jazzy girl accessories.

dementedma · 03/03/2011 13:11

DD2 was born with a thick mass of dark hair with a spike that stood straight up from the top of her head and then curled over a bit. Twas just like a handle growing out of her head. So i suppose she was born an onion top Grin
Wish I could show you a photo...
she is now nearly 18 and possesses a main of thick dark wavy hair, which is still fairly uncontrollable.

MrsMellowDrummer · 03/03/2011 13:19

My daughter had one - she had very very fine hair, and clips would fall out in an instant. Also, I was worried she might end up putting clips in her mouth, given half a chance. Didn't want her to have a fringe - the onion top was the perfect solution.

Hers was worn slightly to the side though, like a sort of wonky onion I suppose - infinitely more stylish in my opinion. Grin

Original poster
confuddledDOTcom · 03/03/2011 17:13

I'm mobile so will answer properly later.

She's just turned two but has no hair, it's about an inch or two long and barely even touches her forehead and it's baby hair.

Mum took her out because my eldest took me out for my birthday after school and it was the only way we could do things was for her to have her all day and we didn't get back till the youngest was in bed. Eldest is hardest to get ready for school as she's not a morning person where the youngest is up and singing until we pick her up. So I got eldest ready and Mum did youngest after she'd got herself ready so I barely saw her. I took them out after nursery when I bathed them.

OP posts:
noodle69 · 03/03/2011 17:19

All depends on the child my daughter on her 2nd birthday had hair that was down to her chin. She has just turned 3 and it is more than half way down her back. There is masses of it and I used to do this to her hair.

Would be silly if she had hardly any hair though. I wish I didnt have to do anything to it I hate doing her hair as she never wants to sit still.

I agree they are called pineapples though.

pigletmania · 03/03/2011 17:19

Oh the Essex facelift, yanbu they are horrid.

Original poster
confuddledDOTcom · 03/03/2011 22:09

Just want to point out I'm not judging other people for what they do to their daughters, it's just the idea that they stick these horrible things in my daughter's hair knowing I don't like it.

I was playing with her hair earlier and I think she has bit of an 80s thing going on. From her crown back you could gather all of it into one ponytail but the bit on top you'd need about four to get it into one!

iscreams [oh forgot I have a bowl downstairs, back i a sec] link is pretty accurate of what she looked like, minus the bows and nail varnish (???) but she had two.

Those headbands are scary! Especially the bald one in the middle! I don't get the obsession to make babies look like one of the other, surely it's enough that they're wearing the right clothes? I've had my girls head to toe in pink in a pink sling and been asked if they were a boy, people don't care what they're wearing or look like they'll say it.

SIL has two girls and both had these things in from as soon as she was able. She did use normal elastic bands which surprised me because you'd think a woman and a mother of girls would know elastic bands and hair don't mix! I use those tiny hair bands for my eldest and can't imagine trying to get them in the youngest's hair.

OP posts:
QueenofAllWildThings · 03/03/2011 22:16

LOL at onion tops. YANBU, as to use elastic bands in a child's hair is just nasty. Why didn't you cut them out? SHe must have had a really sore head once they were taken out too... ouch.