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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my DD to lose weight

40 replies

thecomputerwidow · 02/03/2011 22:09

my daughter is 9 years old and I have been told recently to tell her to lose weight to unable her to fit into clothes her own size. Would that not encourage her to become anorexic? and feel bad about herself. I am disgusted that it would be considered to do this when there are no health issues as DD is a tall girl for her age.

OP posts:

winnybella · 02/03/2011 22:11

Give us her stats, then we'll tell you
If she is overweight then yes. If her weight is in proportion to her height, then, obviously, no.

NettoSuperstar · 02/03/2011 22:12

Who told you that?

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 02/03/2011 22:12

who told you to tell her that? hcps usually encourage "growing into" their weight, even for obese children, rather than losing weight?

Beamur · 02/03/2011 22:12

Even if she is overweight, do you have to explicitly tell her? Why not just make some diet/lifestyle choices for all the family.

whatagradeA · 02/03/2011 22:13

Well, if she needs to lose weight, at her age wouldn't it be better to encourage healthy eating for the whole family and exercise together? You don't need to 'tell her' as such, and therefore give her hang-ups.

Minshu · 02/03/2011 22:13

If she's tall for her age, then trousers for her age will be too short...

Who told you to tell her to lose weight?

pinktransit · 02/03/2011 22:14

If your daughter is only 9 years old, then you are in control of her food intake.
If she is overweight then look at what she's eating and where you can cut down on her calorie intake. You absolutely don't have to say anything at all.
If she is not overweight then ignore whoever told you to speak to her.

You are the adult here, and you are in charge...

foreverondiet · 02/03/2011 22:15

I don't know what her BMI is... assuming she's tall and slim then it would be totally inappropriate. If however she is tall and overweight then I think you'd be doing her a big favour to help her loose weight but clearly you'd have to be sensitive to how its dealt with.

eg - good idea to:

have whole family new healthy eating plan
encourage more exercise, eg swimming, cycling, gym classes
discussion with her that no snacks between meals other than fruit

In terms of your worries - she's likely to feel bad about herself if she doesn't become slimmer before starting secondary school as the other children might tease for her being fat.

Anorexia - unlikely to be an issue if its dealt with sensitively and not, DD you are too fat, stop eating.

reallytired · 02/03/2011 22:15

Who has told you to tell your child to lose weight.

Nine year old is still very little, if your daughter is overwieght then its up to you to help her. You need to encourage her to be more active and control her portion size. For example buying smaller plates and cooking healthy meals.

You can get your dd to lose weight without her knowing. For example walking to school, not giving her the chance to snack.

If your dd is taller than average then it is not surprising if she needs larger than average clothes. Clothes size is very arbitary and healthy children come in a range of sizes.

EmptyCrispPackets · 02/03/2011 22:15

Hmmm another thread is linked to this one maybe

freddy05 · 02/03/2011 22:15

at nine you can control what goes in without telling her she needs to lose. 'We are all eating more healthily to set us up for summer because we want to have lots of energy to enjoy the sunshine'

good luck with it

LessNarkyPuffin · 02/03/2011 22:16

You don't tell an nine year old to lose weight. You change the food you provide for them and encourage exercise as a family.

huddspur · 02/03/2011 22:17

Depends what her stats are

annapolly · 02/03/2011 22:18

You don't need to say anything, just give her a healthy diet and try to do more activities.

My DS had a waist measurement of 32 inches when he was 8, he is now 10 and has a 28 inch waist measurement.

I didn't say anything just enrolled him on after school clubs and go swimming every Saturday.

I use a lot of Slimming world recipes and if he has sweets then they are in a small pot and not a whole packet.

Try to keep her weight the same and she will grow into it.

Niceguy2 · 02/03/2011 22:18

I agree with GradeA

If you are honest with yourself, you should know if she's overweight or not. A little is not a big problem, a lot is.

Best way IMO is to introduce healthy eating for the family. Cut out the sweet, snacks, pizza, curries and prepackaged rubbish.

Cook meals from scratch which you know exactly what's going into them.

Now the weather is getting warmer, go on family walks, cycle, play outdoor games. You don't have to do it all but just get out and about.

The best way is to lead by example.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 02/03/2011 22:19

What thread Empty ??

Original poster

thecomputerwidow · 02/03/2011 22:21

she is nearly 5ft tall, weighing 6 11. She eats healthily however she does tend to snack between meals which I am trying to cut down. She is starting to develop a belly which makes it difficult to buy clothes her age. She keeps saying that she is fat and i am so concerned about this as I do not want her going the opposite way as she is very impressionable at the moment. Parents in general are telling me to tell her to lose weight, this does not make any sense to me.

OP posts:

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 02/03/2011 22:21

what does your wife think OP?

Pancakeflipper · 02/03/2011 22:21

Does she take after her dad cos' if I have this correct - he is alittle chunky around the middle?

If you are referring to the thread earlier and taking the piddle then I think you are a meanie. That kid has enough to cope with without the media shredding her appearance.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 02/03/2011 22:22

Dont girls usually have a stage of building up podge before they start puberty? Or has that been proven to be untrue???

Pancakeflipper · 02/03/2011 22:23

If you are utterly genuine. I apologise and suggest you go and have a chat with the Dr and have her properly assessed. If there is an issue they will help your daughter.

pinksancerre · 02/03/2011 22:26

I was going to start a thread and really sympathise because I have the same concerns for my daughter but am very conscious of not encouraging a bad attitude to food. She was doing very little exercise but has now joined fencing club and netball club. But I have limited control over her intake at school as she has pocket money, but am keeping an eye on her diet. She is 12, about 4 11 and weigh about 7st, and certainly is carrying some fat. Will watch thread with interest for more views and ideas

pinksancerre · 02/03/2011 22:29

All square - hadn't heard that, might be relevant for my dd

A1980 · 02/03/2011 22:42

I haven't read all of this but you don't have to tell her specifically.

It would upset her quite alot I would imagine.

I don't know what her diet is like as you haven't said what she eats, but perhaps just give her and the whole family more healthy options (i'm not saying you eat unhealthily by the way) and if she asks for things to eat that aren't healthy just say no because it isn't good for her and not because she's overweight.

TBH I got a wee bit podgy when I was an early teenager. When I had my final growth spurt it all evened out. I look great at 15 when I got tall

fortyplus · 02/03/2011 22:48

Standard BMI calculators don't work for children but this onedoes.

OP it says your daughter is a healthy weight for her height and age.

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