To be worried your child will turn out like you

[C0FFEE]

Just out if interest

I often wonder how I feel if she turns out doing the things I got up to?

Haha yeah I know what you mean. Its ok for me to do it but I would worry if my child did it type of thing? Oh well at least you know you can educate them as they will probably end up doing it all and coming out the other side!

My youngest DS is already showing signs of following in my rebellious footsteps.

Now I finally understand what my poor Mum had to go through!

I made a joke today saying if my nine year old turns out the way I did I failed, then thought it is not a joke.

I was a sweet teen, polite, hard working, my parents trusted me 100% totally unaware what was happening at sleepovers and parties, although they knew I smoked.

I haven't even given birth to my DC yet and I'm already terrified that I'll end up with a teenage girl shaped in the image of me as a teenage girl, I was awful

I was like that to. I was a wreckhead party animal who loved the boys. Its always the ones you least suspect I love that as that gave me many life skills for getting away with whatever I want lol.

Dont worry everyone does it and I wont be too concerned unless they get arrested or pregnant.

I keep thinking my DS2 has inherited my procrastination gene, but keeping putting off finding out. Will probably do it tomorrow zzzzzzzzzz

I also panic about that. As I am still a teenager (although not for much longer :() everything what I got upto is still pretty recent. I wasn't too bad but I did end up pregnant at 14 which I am not proud of at all. I put my mum through hell then, and since I found out i'm having a girl im absolutely terrified she'll turn out to be a big failure just like me. I didn't do well at school and have no obvious skills and have massively sucked at every job I have had so far, (ok so thats only 3 but still) and I have ended up as a bloody potwasher at the local grammar school (my mum always wanted me to end up there just like my sister). Luckily though I do have a fantastic DP who has a great job and owns our house at 21 years of age :) and he can do just about every DIY job going. I just hope she will turn out like her daddy!! Sorry I think I got a bit carried away there lol :o

oh and FYI, I didn't keep the baby, this is my 2nd pregnancy, but 1st baby. Just thought i'd mention that lol

It doesn't bother me if DD turns out like me. I think though, that the rebel parts of DH and I have cancelled each other out because DD is quite a goody-goody (in the nicest possible way) a bit like Saffy in Ab Fab.

i was quiet geeky teen,so nowt from my past.other than bookish.

Callisto my DS is the male Saffy!! so not like me at all, in fact he has landed me in trouble a few times .

Namely at one chinese restaurant, we had paid for our food, had too much on plate and asked if we could take it home and was told 'No' so i wrapped it up in a napkin and put it in my handbag only for ds (who was 5 at the time) to get the attention of the waiter to tell him what i had done! . Sadly i haven't learnt my lesson adn often get told off by ds for breaking the rules, in a manner of "mummy you just can't help yourself can you, now be good, blah blah blah" .

Hoping that my 2 ds's do exactly the same things that me and dh did.
Dh was a toe-rag. But had an apsolute scream.
I had a laugh, worked hard, took a few drugs, travelled alot.

Are these things that you hope that your children don't do, are they SOOOOO BAD ? Really ? I mean they make you what you are today, and surely that ain't so bad ?

I would be perfectly happy if my DC ended up like me. I am not perfect but think my life has been lovely so far :) The only trait I hope they don't have is my anxiety.

My DD is exactly like me. My brother commented a few years back about things she does/says/behaves and how I did or said exactly the same things when I was her age. She's also got my temper and she really doesn't like doing things for others - but she'll grow out of that. I did .

Youngest DS is just like me! It is terrible to see your worst faults!

I worry that DD will feel like I did as a teenager, I loathed the way I looked, and thought I would never be loved, I couldn't understand what there was to love. It was so stupid, as I look back at photos, and I was perfectly normal looking. But I hope she never feels that way.

I wonder when people who can't stand their MIL run the risk of producing a mini one! (or do they think her genes will be bypassed?)

I was quite a good teenager. I can rembember my bf and I standing up to a whole group of other 'friends' who wanted us to drink cider with them. I was confident enough to not care what everyone else was doing. Also I had lots of fun snogging boys, but did not have a serious relationship with anyone until I was 19, my now dh. I had a really good group of friends at uni and for the first year of my being with dh he could never track me down, but he hung on there. So I hope my dd has good friends and is happy in her own self without feeling the need to always have a boyfriend.

Our friends have pointed out that our dcs won't be able to "rebel" against us because between me and dh we've covered just about every delinquent behaviour there is .

We're alright now though, I just want dd to graft at school, it's my biggest regret because i was clever I winged it all my life academically rather than studying hard. As a result I'm an RMN doing a tough job on a shitty wage rather than a Clinical Psychologist doing a nicer job on (comparatively) megabucks. I curse myself each day for not working harder at my A levels and getting all As.

Melly, you sound like you have really low self-esteem. You need to address that, or otherwise you will pass that on to your child.

I was terrible throughout my teens, but then again, so were my parents at parenting. So I'll get my turn to try it better, and then if my kids still turn out to be nightmares, I'll just blame the kids themselves. Foolproof

Melly you don't sound like a failure to me - you sound bright and articulate, with your whole adult life in front you; I expect you could be anything you want to be. Your DP sounds great - will he be supportive of you if you want to get further education/training, do you think? Good luck with your little girl.

Peering, you said it a fuck of a lot better than me!

Melly, if you read this, I second what Peering said.

I wonder when people who can't stand their MIL run the risk of producing a mini one! (or do they think her genes will be bypassed?)

That is my biggest fear i hate my inlaws and the children look like them both, it is very upsetting.

I just think it weird that they don't think of the MIL possibility! It is just as likely they take after her as you. I look just like my paternal grandmother and nothing like my mother!

Actually - no, I am really pleased that DS1 (20) shares my tolerant beliefs and laughs at the same things I do. I feel that I have been really honest with him and taught him well.

DS2 (11) is too young yet to know.