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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish that I had had a CS with each of my DC's?

32 replies

PelvicFloored · 02/03/2011 09:43

I have given birth naturally 3 times. I tore a little bit each time but healed well. However, I have been left with problems with my pelvic floor which got worse after each birth.

I was just idly thinking back today to before I had kids and my sex life then. I used to really enjoy sex and I could remember what it felt like. However, now I cannot even feel my DH when he is inside me. Intercourse is now completely unpleasurable for me and I miss how it used to feel. Not only that, but I suffer from stress incontinence. Every time I sneeze I wet myself. I am too young for this :-(. I had some physio at the hospital after the birth of my last child and did kegel exercises til I was blue in the face, but nothing helped.

I know that there is a procedure to sort out everything 'downstairs' but it seems that people frown upon it because they think women only do that for men. Well, I am entitled to a fulfilling sex life as well, am I not?

Anyway, at this point in time I really regret having vaginal births and wish I had had CSs. If I had my time again, I would opt for an elective CS without a shadow of a doubt.

AIBU?

OP posts:

ddubsgirl · 02/03/2011 09:44

i had cs with all of mine,trust me my pelvic floor isnt great!

SheWhoMustNotBeFlamed · 02/03/2011 09:45

Apparently, the pelvic floor damage is a consequence of carrying the baby in the womb, not of a vaginal delivery, as I can testify .

Don't suppose that's much of a comfort though - hope you can find a solution.

ddubsgirl · 02/03/2011 09:47

agrees,no sneezing please!!!!WETTAGEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ddubsgirl · 02/03/2011 09:47

also i dont have nice small babies :o

worraliberty · 02/03/2011 09:51

I don't really get your line of thinking especially the part where you say but it seems that people frown upon it because they think women only do that for men

It's your business. I doubt you're going to advertise it in the newspaper so I don't know who would be frowning? Anyway, I imagine there would be far more frowners if you'd elected to give birth unaturally on the tiny off chance you might spoil your enjoyment of sex in the future.

Just get the procedure done and look forward instead of looking back.

Creany172 · 02/03/2011 09:54

Tenna Lady are making a fortune out of me at the moment. I have a very bad cough and it is ridiculous. I didn't realise how much a bladder can hold! I'm having to change my clothes at least 4 times a day and at night I'm sleeping on towels. It's a good job I'm single!!!!!

ddubsgirl · 02/03/2011 09:56

my mil had to have a womb lift wasnt for the sex side of it it was to stop her pissing herself all the time,she was in hospital 2 nights and everything was alot better after,if its that bad you need to see your GP.

exhaustednurse · 02/03/2011 09:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Trinaluce · 02/03/2011 10:06

YANBU to want the procedure to sort things out.

YABU to wish you'd had a section. I wish I could give birth naturally, just once. You have no idea how it feels to know that you probably can't fulfill one of the things you're supposed to be able to do as a woman and to feel like you've failed. To not be able to pick up your baby for the first week of its life because you can't move properly and bend down to the crib. A section is not a cure all and it is not the easy way out. Doesn't necessarily make sex enjoyable either as it rips through your stomach muscles so you can't move with the moment.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/03/2011 10:25

Oh god no! I wouldn't have wanted a cs. My pelvic floor is dodgy and there is a very real danger that my fanjo resembles the grand canyon but I prefer that to being sliced open and practically immobile for a couple of weeks!

My sister had a cs and she still gets pain in the scar. Her dd is TWELVE!

I saw women who had cs, when I was in having mine. I was up and walking around in search of coffee, baby slung under my arm. They were laying in bed, unable to pick baby up, hooked up to painkillers.

No thanks. It looked bloody miserable. I felt really sorry for them.

And they say you can't lift anything, can't drive, you are so restricted. Just what you need with a newborn!

Glitterknickaz · 02/03/2011 10:27

I have had three caesareans and still have a dodgy pelvic floor. It's carrying the babies that does it not giving birth.

MangoTango · 02/03/2011 10:31

I have had a natural birth and a CS so I have the joy of a massive overhang, plus a dodgy fanjo and weeing when i cough.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/03/2011 10:37

I've only had one baby, she was born by CS. I was up the day after the surgery, dragging my IV pole and carrying my catheter the kilometre to the front of the hospital to have a fag.
I am a stranger to DDs trampoline.

orangehead · 02/03/2011 10:38

Unfortunely you have been left with a bad side effect from childbirth. But cs isnt a guaranted side effect free option. A friend of mine nearly died from her cs and was in a coma for several months after. She is still ill now and her ds is 15. Thankfully due to docotors etc 99.9 % of women have no major problems but it is still a major op with risks like any other op.
Not saying cs are bad, if it was'nt for my cs my ds1 would not be alive today and when I have another I will be havig a cs for medical reasons. But you could of had a cs and been left with even worse side effects, you just never know. Hindsight would be a wonderful thing

ddubsgirl · 02/03/2011 11:16

hecate,same here,my scar is painful when i have my period and the surrounding skin has never had full feeling come back.

i should add 1st 2 cs were emcs, twins was planned cs due to the 1st 2 plus tw1 was breech so no way were they coming out down there!

new2cm · 02/03/2011 11:26

YABU about the CS.

I wish a friend of mine would come on here and write up about her horrific CS and the terrible time she is having as a result 2 years on. She is getting them sorted out though but no doubt she would rather not have had them in the first place.

Original poster

PelvicFloored · 02/03/2011 12:29

I was up the day after the surgery, dragging my IV pole and carrying my catheter the kilometre to the front of the hospital to have a fag.

Love it

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/03/2011 12:34

Let me assure you you wouldn't have done. DD was born during Ramadhan so I not only had to get them in before the sun rose, I had to tolerate the tuts from the men.

Original poster

PelvicFloored · 02/03/2011 12:37

You're very brave. Where were you living, if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:

worraliberty · 02/03/2011 12:38

Get what in before the sun rose?

Original poster

PelvicFloored · 02/03/2011 12:39

Fags. You can't smoke between sunrise and sundown during Ramadan.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/03/2011 12:40

Thanks pelvic, I could have left people with the impression that despite being honeymoon fresh in the banjo, I could actually fit a drip pole and bag of fluids up my flue

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/03/2011 12:41

Sorry, we were living in Oman at the time. Looks like it's going horribly wrong there now

worraliberty · 02/03/2011 12:42

That's how it read to me kreecher I'm glad it's been cleared up

Original poster

PelvicFloored · 02/03/2011 12:45

I don't think it will escalate. Omanis are such chilled out people generally, aren't they? Also Sultan Qaboos has immediately brought in changes to try to address the problems.

I love Oman. I was there last weekend. I would happily live there.

OP posts:

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