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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want privacy in the shower?

32 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 01/03/2011 11:24

OK - I realise this is not a huge problem, but it's pissing both of us off on a daily basis.

So....which one of us is being unreasonable?

Every morning, at the same time, while I am in the shower, DH comes into the showerroom to put wax on his hair.

He has always had the same schedule and is used to doing this at the same time in the same place every day, but I am now getting up earlier since I have started back work and our morning routines collide over this tiny point.

I would like to lock the door on the bathroom so I can have a few minutes of peace & privacy (mostly for hair removal purposes!). But he gets pissed off if I have locked the door as he can't get in to wax his hair.

We have another bathroom (without a shower) that he could do his hairwax in. Or he could wax his hair after I have left the showerroom (10 mins max), but he has refused to do either and says I am being unreasonable and creating a big scene by not letting him in.

Am I? Or is he?

Ladies (and gents) please decide for us....

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 01/03/2011 11:25

i think the big question is... what are you removing hair from?

BertieBasset · 01/03/2011 11:26

I think he is being unreasonable. You can't shower elsewhere, he can wax anywhere - so to speak Grin

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/03/2011 11:26

Privacy for hair removal purposes seems odd.
I was showering last week, DD was talking to me and a 14 year old boy wandered into our bathroom, vomited into the toilet and walked out.
That's when you need a lock on the bathroom door.

Hassled · 01/03/2011 11:27

He is. You're entitled to some privacy, FFS. Men and their morning rituals bug the hell out of me - so many women are out there running round like headless chickens in the mornings so their man can stick to his schedule, come hell or high water.

Stick to your guns. Lock the door, keep it locked, every day. He'll give up eventually.

fedupofnamechanging · 01/03/2011 11:29

On the grounds that you have another bathroom that he could use, I will say YANBU. I would move all his hair stuff to the other bathroom, so he has no reason to come in while you are showering. I think he should respect that privacy is important to you and if it is possible to re arrange his time so he can do all his things and not be late for work, then it would not hurt him to do this.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 01/03/2011 11:29

I must be odd to then as there is no way i would be able to perform hair removal from anywhere with DH (or anyone for that matter) in the room. I wouldnt care if he moaned,

I lock the bathroom door everytime i enter it!

ZacharyQuack · 01/03/2011 11:32

Buy him a second set of hair products and put them in the other bathroom. Once he uses the other bathroom he'll realise (but never admit) that it's not a big deal after all.

YANBU, I hate having people bothering me while I'm fantasising in the shower.

Original poster
BeautifulBlondePineapple · 01/03/2011 11:36

Before all this hair removal conjecture gets out of hand - I am not some kind of monkey-woman, but I do shave my legs, armpits, top lip and chin (yes, chin!) on approximately a twice weekly basis.

Bikini line is dealt with separately.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeautifulBlondePineapple · 01/03/2011 11:37

oh, and I'm not actually blonde

OP posts:
diddl · 01/03/2011 11:37

I don´t get the not wanting anyone in the bathroom whilst you are in the shower tbh.

But since he could wax his hair elsewhere, perhaps he should.

AitchTwoOh · 01/03/2011 11:38

lol at monkey woman. well YES you need a bit of privacy for a chin shave, of course.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 01/03/2011 11:40

I can't imagine wanting or needing that much privacy from my partner but if you do, then you need to change the time of your shower, he is doing what he's always done, it's you that's changed it - shower 5 minutes earlier or wait until he has finished if having the bathroom to yourself is that important.

TheProvincialLady · 01/03/2011 11:41

You are entitled to privacy. He can either time his hair waxing so that the bathroom is free, or do it elsewhere. It's not that inconvenient for him. He is being selfish.

gorionine · 01/03/2011 11:41

I lock the batroom door when I am in it, whatever the purpose of being in it is. The bathroom is the only room in the house with a lock on the door, it has to be there for a reasonGrin

MissVerinder · 01/03/2011 11:42

Move the wax to the other bathroom... YADNBU

hogsback · 01/03/2011 11:44

He is being unreasonable for putting wax in his hair. Does he use Fop or Dapper Dan?

BooyFuckingHoo · 01/03/2011 11:45

He is defBU

there is nothing wrong with wanting privacy. we all need a few minutes everyday where we can be alone. he can wax his hair elsewhere. you can't shower elsewhere. put his stuff on teh bed and go to teh shower and lock teh door.

Eglu · 01/03/2011 11:46

Well I don't see the big need for privacy, but he can put his wax in elsewhere. Why does he even need a bathroom. Surely he could use a mirror in your bedroom.

lambbone · 01/03/2011 11:54

Hi there Hogsback. Nice to meet another fan of Oh Brother Where Art Thou.

OP not unreasonable but may be clutching at straws. I gave up expecting privacy in the bathroom years ago!

christmaswishes · 01/03/2011 12:06

I think if that's what he has been used to always doing then its hard to break habits. Just because you have changed your hours why should he have to change his routine? Have you told him the reason you don't want him in the bathroom? Eg because I'm embarrassed by shaving my top lip in front of you ? Because otherwise he might think its weird you don't want him in when he's your husband.

christmaswishes · 01/03/2011 12:06

I think if that's what he has been used to always doing then its hard to break habits. Just because you have changed your hours why should he have to change his routine? Have you told him the reason you don't want him in the bathroom? Eg because I'm embarrassed by shaving my top lip in front of you ? Because otherwise he might think its weird you don't want him in when he's your husband.

mrsSOAK · 01/03/2011 12:12

i would like some privacy in the shower too but DD insists on standing by the side of the bath and singing or babbling away in her strange toddler language, which of course means that DH has to be in there too to keep an eye on her which means that the little cat wants to be in there too to see what all the noise and fuss is about, which means the big cat wants to be in the bathroom to keep an eye on the little cat. All in all its a family affair when I take a shower! Grin
However in answer to your OP, I dont think you are being unreasonable. He could easily make small adjustments to his routine to acomodate you.

mmsmum · 01/03/2011 12:17

lol at monkey woman

I used to only lock my bathroom door when we have visitors, but now I lock it when I shower because my dog likes to come in!

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 01/03/2011 12:25

I dont even shut the bathroom door when I'm in the shower! YANBU for wanting privacy though.

My DH has a lovely photo of me naked, 8 months pregnant, shaving my legs. He snuck up the stairs with the camera!!

RedRosie · 01/03/2011 12:28

This is no help at all. Sorry. But I feel that the key to (MY) happy marriage is one bathroom each. A room of one's own!