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Original poster

Separated - mothers day with me or football with dad?

38 replies

lilacisinlove · 28/02/2011 15:42

It's my turn to have the DDs on mothers day weekend. Dad texted them and asked if they wanted to go to a match at Wembley as his team are playing. They both said yes. I was a bit miffed as it's my Sunday with them, and eldest DD is at boarding school so only home from noon Saturday to 6pm Sunday. So I thought I'd maybe swap and take them off his hands the previous Sunday and we'll go out for my birthday, which is a few days later.

I hadn't realised the match clashed with mothers day. He probably didn't either. I emailed him and said I would prefer that the girls spend the afternoon with me as it's mothers day. He said they want to go to the match and he has already bought the tickets.

I don't want to make the kids choose. WWYD?

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 28/02/2011 15:43

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluddyMoFo · 28/02/2011 15:45

This reply has been deleted

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BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 15:45

Let them go - and go and pamper yourself Smile

Kewcumber · 28/02/2011 15:45

Can't you have them for a few hours Sunday morning and them they can toddle off to the match?

saffy85 · 28/02/2011 15:46

YANBU I'd be disappointed too.

Could you do something together the following weekend? ets face it, it doesn't really matter when you and your girls get together so they can make a fuss of you and have some girly bonding time etc, as long you do get to.

curlymama · 28/02/2011 15:46

Let them go, there's not much you can do now tbh, not now he has bought the tickets. What other choice do you think you have?

Original poster
lilacisinlove · 28/02/2011 15:46

bluddymofo, this is the man who 'forgot' and went into work last week when he was supposed to have the girls all day. LMAO at the very idea that he would ask me first Hmm

OP posts:
BabyDubsEverywhere · 28/02/2011 15:47

I think the kids have already chosen so you dont really have a choice, unless you make them be with you? But thats hardly the afternoon you want. Confused

How about he give yo uhis ticket and you take them to the match? or would it be completely off if you all went?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 15:48

Yes - agree with those saying celebrate a different day instead - it moves every year anyhow - last year it fell on my birthday - and so DS1 has been utterl confused this year as to how it's not the 13th March (the Sunday closest to my birthday) - but the 3rd April

privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 15:50

Let them go to the match if they are looking forward to it. They will only be resentful if they don't go and that won't make for a happy Mothers Day tbh.

LibraPoppyGirl · 28/02/2011 15:50

I'd let the girls go to the match [cats bum face emoticon].

What an insensitive thing to do though. Just because you are separated doesn't mean that he should not be considerate to your time with the girls.

To be fair though, Mother's Day has been moved this year, not only to a different weekend but a whole different month Confused. Something to do with Easter being later this year??? Why can't they just stick to the first Sunday in March, no matter what.

So, there could be a veil of confusion around the whole Mother's Day date this year that he isn't aware of, or has just forgotten. I keep forgetting it's changed myself.

I would let him know that you are not happy about it though, and say to him that you'll not kick up a fuss this time, because you want the girls to enjoy their day out, but in future can he liaise with you BEFORE asking the girls if they want to do something like that.

If he says no, then I think you are totally within your rights to kick up a stink if it happens again.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 15:53

Librat - it's wasn't the first Sunday in March last year Grin. But yes I agree why they have to move Mothers day around so much I don't know...........actually I do I think it's something to do with the traditional Mothering Sunday being based on when Easter was Blush - and yes Easter is very late this year.

diddl · 28/02/2011 15:55

Can you make sure you book something for Father´s DayGrin

To be fair if he didn´t realise it was MD, of course he would get the tickets when he said they wanted to go.

As long as you can swap a weekend.

And I assume that your eldest always has the same time at weekends, so that´s not really relevant, is it?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 15:59

Actually you know what - I think maybe it's the idea of Mothers Day afternoon (and him not asking you before he aske the children) that's bugging you. As you said yourself when he asked you about the date you didn't realise it was Mothers Day, and you were miffed about the fact it was your weekend, rather than it actually being Mothers Day. I reckon now you've realised it's Mothers Day it feels like more salt in the wound.

Treat yourself, plan a lovely pampering afternoon/day without them

LibraPoppyGirl · 28/02/2011 16:00

I know Baroque how confusing is it Confused.

I always used to base Mothering Sunday around my Mum's Birthday which is 8th March. For as long as I can remember Mothering Sunday was the Sunday before Mum's Birthday. But then I've been living in Oz for 8 years until last year, so Mothering Sunday was in May!!!

I'm totally confused now Grin

Do you know why has Easter been moved as well?? I don't get it Hmm

Bluemoonrising · 28/02/2011 16:05

Easter hasn't 'been moved'. It is based on lunar cycles and can be on a wide variety of dates because of that.

Am I the only mum that couldn't give a stuff about mother's day?

My kids appreciate me every day, I don't need a special day for that - I really can't be doing with all this nonsense - fathers day, mothers day, valentines day, grandparents day, cousin's cats day...

If my kids had something fairly special they could go to with their dad on mothers day it wouldn't even enter my head to object. I agree with Baroque - do something special for yourself.

mozette · 28/02/2011 16:14

I'm with you Blue - just like Valentines Day it is a heap of commercialised crap

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 16:22

well Easter always moves - because the lunar cycles are what it's based on - it's just annoying that Mothering Sunday (which btw isn't the same as Valentines day in the commercial sense - although it has been commercialised) has a proper \link{http://projectbritain.com/easter/mothers.htm\history behind it)

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/02/2011 16:23

\link{http://projectbritain.com/easter/mothers.htm\sorry here} it has a proper history behind it - honest!

zukiecat · 28/02/2011 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrozenYogurt · 28/02/2011 16:26

My other half is also going to Wembley on that Sunday. It will be my first MD - DD only 4 months. I was looking forward to a bit of pampering since I've not had a day off in all that time. I'm actually amazed that so many of our male friends with new/young children are going, leaving their wives/partners on their own. A few of us are a bit miffed to be honest.

privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 18:03

Mothers Day doesn't mean a lot to me tbh though this year it will be quite poignant as it's the first one since my Mum died.

If you don't see them very much as they are at boarding school then it will be harder for you to miss seeing them this day.

Is it a big match that day? < blissfully ignorant of football >

privategodfrey · 28/02/2011 18:06

Oh right, just Googled.

Brentford v Carlisle United
Johnstone's Paint Trophy Final

Grin
Original poster
lilacisinlove · 28/02/2011 18:39

I have emailed him, said could he ask me as well as them if a similar situation arises in future, and that I will pick them up from him at 10am the Sunday before in order to celebrate my birthday as well as mothers day. Don't see how he can argue with that (which is not to say that he won't try!)

Now I have to think about what I will do with an unexpected afternoon to myself. Can't spend it with my mum as she lives 230 miles away!

OP posts:
joydivisionovengloves · 28/02/2011 18:43

YABU. It's not often Carlisle or Brentford get to Wembley. Mothers Day happens every year.

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