To be a bit confused by what title to use for a long divorced woman

[clinkers]

Filling out some application forms for stepson last night and came to the next of kin section. Now this is his mother, who has been divorced from my husband (of 7 years) for 16 years. I know she still uses the surname and thats not an issue but I was a little confused about what to put for the title. She isnt a Mrs as such as she isnt married....do I put Ms?
Its rather a confusing one

Can you ask her which title she uses?

It's Mrs + her own first name + married name

So it might be Mrs Mary Smith. A widow or current wife would be (officially!) Mrs John Smith.

But she is still Mrs Smith. It doesn't matter whether a husband has left or has died, you can retain the Mrs title.

I doubt it will matter one iota but I think I'd go with Mrs as she hasnt been bothered to change her married name.

It certainly feels odd as i'm Mrs xxxx but I'll go with that.

My Mum is still Mrs, they divorced in 1995

Definately use Mrs.

Should people drop the Mrs when the ex remarries do you think?

It sounds like a harem

I'm long divorced, I use the title Ms.

I kept my married name as I didn't want a different name from my children but I reverted to Miss. If I were you I would put Ms to be on the safe side, that would mean either wouldn't it?

IT's 'supposed' to be Ms though isn't it? Can't be Miss because you have been married but can't be Mrs because you are no longer married.

Having said that, my mum is still a Mrs and divorced in 1988!

you should have the courtesy to use whatever term SHE uses for herself and NOT be "put out" that she has the same name as you - ask DH to check with her if you are not sure

So what's the argument for using "Mrs" rather than the neutral "Ms" if you're divorced?

Should people drop the Mrs when the ex remarries do you think?

No, why should a person have to change their name because of descisions made by other people? Ridiculous suggestion.

And, she was Mrs xxxx before you were.

Hmmm, PaperView I would have paid money to see you try and tell my Grandma she couldn't be called Mrs X because she was no longer married. She was a widow for 40 years.

I think ashamed is right, go with what she calls herself.

She would be Ms. as she is no longer married to him and Mrs. is used for a woman who is married.

I would out Mrs unless she has specifically stated she is to be called Ms. Their aare no rules as to what you can be called on divorce its up to the individual

She is a Mrs as far as the law goes.

So what's the argument for using "Mrs" rather than the neutral "Ms" if you're divorced?

Because you want to? Or because a person doesn't feel the need to change their name because their husband left them?

ThisIsANiceCage

I know divorced ladies who use Mrs as they want it clear they were MARRIED to their childrens father - ie not born out or wedlock (no offense intened to single mums!). Opting for Miss MaidenName makes it seem they were not/never have been married - which is what some want, of course!

I also know married women who use Ms as its no one elses business what your marital state is - there is no difference for a single or married fella after all.

She might be either Ms or Mrs depending on what she prefers (same goes for a currently married woman!). It's probably not particularly important for purposes of this form...

I havent really thought about this before so find it fascinating. I would have thought the legal process of a divorce would have taken away the "title" and the "mrs - ship" as such, whereas being a widow would be different IMO.

And if she was a Mrs while she was married, I'd probably assume she still is, unless she's said otherwise.

epiphany I wouldnt know...she was married for less than a year (and it was marriage number 2)