To be a bit confused by what title to use for a long divorced woman

[clinkers]

Filling out some application forms for stepson last night and came to the next of kin section. Now this is his mother, who has been divorced from my husband (of 7 years) for 16 years. I know she still uses the surname and thats not an issue but I was a little confused about what to put for the title. She isnt a Mrs as such as she isnt married....do I put Ms?
Its rather a confusing one

Tyra - if Mrs can only be used if you are a married woman, are there a whole lot of widows out there who should be using Ms?? Nan has been a widow 20+ years and still is Mrs

What if the divorced wife believes in "once married always married"? what if the divorce was not of her instigation or desire? why should she have the "stigma" of being labelled as divorcee by all who see her name in print?

not having a go, just throwing up some possibilities

Im sticking Mrs on.

If it were me id use Ms

It's just a form, it doesn't matter IMO.

" want it clear they were MARRIED to their childrens father - ie not born out or wedlock (no offense intened to single mums!)."

See, that's the point. It clearly is intended to be offensive to single mums (I'm not one, btw, so no axe to grind). If they didn't look down on single mums, they wouldn't feel the need to pretend they weren't one.

If the husband has left against the wife's wishes, she didn't choose to be a single parent but it's still pretty dubious to look down on other single parents. But if a woman has gone to some trouble to dispose of her husband, for whatever reason, then calls herself Mrs so that people won't judge her the way she judges others, that's rank hypocrisy.

Widows are in a different position. Except ones who bumped hubby off.

Exactly. Women (and men) have perfectly good reasons for being both single and a parent. They shouldn't have to try to mislead people or give a potted bio at every turn to somehow "justify" themselves.

Women also have a perfect right to be part of a couple (married or unmarried) and a parent, and to call themselves Ms. Again, nobody's business.

But using "Mrs" in the way ashamedandconfused described, to designate "I'm a good single mum, not like those other, bad un/married mums who call themselves Ms," just maintains and reinforces the very stigmatising attitudes those same people are trying to avoid.

I don't know why you personally loathe "Ms", zukiecat, probably not the reasons ashamedandconfused gave, but as you say, each to her own.