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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a total stranger to watch 15mo DD so I can complain about the price of meal?

43 replies

YankNCock · 27/02/2011 16:06

OK, so it's not actually me, but rather this woman I saw in a museum cafe today.

She came in, sat her DD in a highchair at a table next to another woman and her child. Woman's partner and other child came in carrying a tray with one meal on it, seemed to have gotten the DD's meal first so she could start eating earlier than the rest of them. Woman immediately starts causing a scene, very loudly exclaiming 'HOW much did you pay for this!!? For a kid's portion?! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!' Her partner looked quite embarrassed and tried to get her to sit down. He and other child left the room.

So the woman then gets up, picks up the tray with the food, and says to the stranger next to her, 'can you just watch my baby' and without waiting for the answer takes off with the tray into the next room. Not even within sight of her child. This stranger immediately had to soothe the child who started to whinge, and remove the cutlery that had been left within the DD's reach. She came back in a few minutes, didn't even thank the stranger, just bitched on and on about how they weren't properly catering for children and the prices were ridiculous.

Then, leaving the 15mo DD eating a roast dinner on her own, she gets up AGAIN and goes into the other part of the cafe to complain some more, and is gone for longer this time.

Now I know my kid could eat quite well on his own at 15mo, but I would NEVER have expected a complete stranger I'd just sat down by to be responsible for him!

DH and I were agog at the whole scene. The manager came over and she basically made a twat of herself going on and on about why didn't they have fish fingers chips and beans. They did have sandwiches, fromage frais, fruit, cherry tomatoes, and mini cheddars which is what DS was having. IMHO they catered adequately for children, it is a museum, not a preschool soft play centre.

But back to the stranger thing.....is it unreasonable to just run off and leave your kid with a stranger when it is in no way an emergency? I think this was extremely rude and felt quite sorry for the woman who was left trying to comfort a child whose name she didn't even know.

OP posts:
everlong · 27/02/2011 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frgr · 27/02/2011 16:10

Absolutely you ANBU!

I wouldn't have looked after a complete stranger's child in that situation, if truth's being told i find looking after children i don't know rather stressful (at parties etc), not knowing how to soothe them, if i'm going to make a faux pass, - i'm Shock that someone would just lump another child onto a total stranger - i mean, that woman could have been on her lunch and only had 2 minutes left, or not like kids, or simply want to eat her lunch alone. It's one thing to ask politely and ask a favour, or if there is a genuine emergency, quite another to demand it and then just walk off without waiting for a reply.

Bad form all around, i think

squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 16:14

Have to ask, how do you know this child was 15 months old?

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 16:14

I think the op means the woman left her child with the other woman with child? Which is kind of better than someone alone iyswim, but still Shock

southeastastra · 27/02/2011 16:15

sounds like the red mist descended and she just rushed off into a rage without thinking things through properly - wouldn't bother me really and like a bit of drama

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 16:15

Altho she was right about the price of cafe food!!!

Original poster
YankNCock · 27/02/2011 16:16

My judgy pants were well and truly hoiked up. I think I might have made a cat's bum face too.

And do you know, the manager refunded her the money. Angry

As we were leaving, I stopped to tell the manager I thought the catering for children was perfectly acceptable and we'd enjoyed our meals very much.

OP posts:
Original poster
YankNCock · 27/02/2011 16:17

squeakytoy, I know the DD was 15mo because the mum was speaking very very loudly when bitching about the food and said the DD's age.

reading, I didn't tell you how much the food was! Grin

OP posts:
Abr1de · 27/02/2011 16:19

I left my 9-month-old with an old lady in an M&S cafe once while I took my toddler on an urgent trip to the loo. She was very arthritic and had sticks, so I knew she would not be making a bolt with my baby, but she'd be able to warn off any marauders by waving a stick.

Original poster
YankNCock · 27/02/2011 16:20

Abr1de, I think that counts as an emergency. This woman could easily have waited until her partner came back to go and complain.

OP posts:
northerngirl41 · 27/02/2011 16:27

This happened to me a while ago - a mum basically abandoned her child with me whilst she went to try on clothes because "You don't mind watching her do you?" Well I did, since I was actually waiting for my hubby who was on his way out when she asked AND she didn't stick round to hear my reply. I took the child to security... Which I think is the sensible thing to do in this situation.

Bloody rude to do it!! Perhaps she'll learn if more people refuse.

thrifty · 27/02/2011 16:45

how much was the dinner she was complaining about? [nosey]

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 16:48

Yankk, I know you didnt, but my comment was based on the fact that I've never beenable to asfford food in a museum cafe Grin . No, i tell a lie, the cafe in Mountfitchet Castle is reasonable for a visitor-cafe type palce Smile

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 16:49

sorry, typing with one hand!

FreudianSlippery · 27/02/2011 16:57

YANBU. Wouldn't leave my DCs like that to go into another room - that's the key here IMO (aside from the RUDENESS of not even waiting for the other woman to answer FFS!) - it may be more acceptable if she had only gone up to the counter in the same room.

Northernlurker · 27/02/2011 16:59

YANBU. This is something to do in an emergency only.

linziluv · 27/02/2011 17:04

YANBU!
I've left my DS (2.9) sleeping on a train and asked a lovely elderly couple if they minded keeping an eye on him while I nipped to the loo! Was on train to wales, an hour left and pregnant...I was dying!
I also timed it so the next station wasn't for a while so if they'd have snatched him they wouldn't get far! I'm also certain they'd bring him back after an hour anyway! Grin

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 27/02/2011 17:05

"And do you know, the manager refunded her the money."

Probably her main objective Hmm

YANBU

MadamDeathstare · 27/02/2011 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 27/02/2011 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 27/02/2011 17:13

There was a story in the DM today of a couple who went on a ride in SeaWorld Florida, who left their two year old with a strange man, who raped and molested the child wtf were the parents thinking of Angry

PepsiPopcorn · 27/02/2011 17:25

YANBU

fluffygal · 27/02/2011 17:28

piglet the couple knew the man, he had come with them to the park.

Grumpystiltskin · 27/02/2011 17:31

Did you see the news today where a coupleleft their daughter with someone at Disneyland/world so the could go on a rollercoaster Biscuit

The little girl who was still wearing a nappy was raped by the man and he took photos on his phone.

I would never leave a child with someone else in this circumstances.

pastapestoforgotherpassword · 27/02/2011 17:47

It wasn't the imperial war museum was it? That is so blardy expensive! Oh and yanbu about baby by the way