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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect a total stranger to watch 15mo DD so I can complain about the price of meal?

43 replies

YankNCock · 27/02/2011 16:06

OK, so it's not actually me, but rather this woman I saw in a museum cafe today.

She came in, sat her DD in a highchair at a table next to another woman and her child. Woman's partner and other child came in carrying a tray with one meal on it, seemed to have gotten the DD's meal first so she could start eating earlier than the rest of them. Woman immediately starts causing a scene, very loudly exclaiming 'HOW much did you pay for this!!? For a kid's portion?! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!' Her partner looked quite embarrassed and tried to get her to sit down. He and other child left the room.

So the woman then gets up, picks up the tray with the food, and says to the stranger next to her, 'can you just watch my baby' and without waiting for the answer takes off with the tray into the next room. Not even within sight of her child. This stranger immediately had to soothe the child who started to whinge, and remove the cutlery that had been left within the DD's reach. She came back in a few minutes, didn't even thank the stranger, just bitched on and on about how they weren't properly catering for children and the prices were ridiculous.

Then, leaving the 15mo DD eating a roast dinner on her own, she gets up AGAIN and goes into the other part of the cafe to complain some more, and is gone for longer this time.

Now I know my kid could eat quite well on his own at 15mo, but I would NEVER have expected a complete stranger I'd just sat down by to be responsible for him!

DH and I were agog at the whole scene. The manager came over and she basically made a twat of herself going on and on about why didn't they have fish fingers chips and beans. They did have sandwiches, fromage frais, fruit, cherry tomatoes, and mini cheddars which is what DS was having. IMHO they catered adequately for children, it is a museum, not a preschool soft play centre.

But back to the stranger thing.....is it unreasonable to just run off and leave your kid with a stranger when it is in no way an emergency? I think this was extremely rude and felt quite sorry for the woman who was left trying to comfort a child whose name she didn't even know.

OP posts:
RamonaFlowers · 27/02/2011 17:52

Christ. Care to share much Piglet and Grumpy???

Grumpystiltskin · 27/02/2011 17:56

Ooh, sorry, was watching the football and drinking wine whilst trying to look at stitches in dog's foot. Blush Note to self, read all the posts

proudfoot · 27/02/2011 18:17

This woman is totally unreasonable.

BTW it is not a good idea to agree to watch someone's child in a situation like this. If you agree, you assume responsibility for them which means you then owe a duty of care and can be sued if something happens e.g. if this baby had choked or been injured in some way.

nannyl · 27/02/2011 18:20

YANBU!!!!

pigletmania · 27/02/2011 18:21

here is the link, but i understood that they did not know him

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360920/Man-raped-year-old-girl-Sea-World-saved-pictures-phone.html

pigletmania · 27/02/2011 18:22

oh yes he did know the family sorry, but shocking never the less, you cant be too careful.

squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 18:53

I would say there is far more chance of it happening with someone who knows the family than a person who happens to be sitting in a cafe with a child of their own.

MrsSnow · 27/02/2011 19:18

YANBU in this situation.

I think everything depends on the circumstances. Last week on the bus a mother got on with one child in a pram and the other a walking toddler. The toddler immediately ran upstairs while the mother tried calling from downstairs. Another woman offered to mind the pram while she went upstairs and got the child. The mother reluctantly went and got the child. Given this situation I think she did the right thing as the older child was probably in more danger upstairs alone than the baby downstairs.

CrazyHorse · 27/02/2011 19:26

YANBU.

The fact that her DH left the scene suggests he knew she was going to kick off. It may well have cost over the odds (it was a museum, the tend to charge a lot for kids meals - bring a picnic if you don't like it) but to arugue with the staff if just silly after her husband had paid...at that point her beef should be with him.

Leaving the DC with a stranger - not something I would do. Very odd, and yes, rude.

littlebylittle · 27/02/2011 19:26

This is prob a sidetrack, and def risks me being seen as unreasonable, but getting left with others' children a bit of a drag even at toddlers activities. I find that 'just a moment' frequently turns into 'just while I drink my coffee at leisure and have a twenty minute chat'! But maybe I'm just not a natural childminder. And I could make sure I took my turn too but I'm too embarrassed to.

CrazyHorse · 27/02/2011 19:34

It reminds me off the time when I was 15, and my mother decided to take me and my friend to the town where she worked, during the summer holiday, so we could look around for the day. So we spend the morning mooching around Claires and then weren't for McD's for lunch.

As we were munching our Big Mac's a mum asked us to keep an eye on her baby in a high chair while she went to the loo. We were thrilled. We waved a soft toy, and pulled funny faces at the baby, and thought we were oh so responsible and grown up. But...the mum was gone ages....and ages...and we got quite worried. The baby began to cry, and I wanted my friend to go and see if the mum was coming back, she wanted me to check. We imagined she had climbed out of the loo window, and had abandoned us with her baby. We started to panic, slightly, having no idea what we would do with a full time baby. The fact that my mother was a child protection social worker and would know what to do didn't enter our heads Confused.

Eventually the mother returned after about half an hour. I can only conclude she was constipated after too much fast food.

Sorry, not that relevant, but thought I'd share.

BeerTricksPotter · 27/02/2011 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FourFortyFour · 27/02/2011 19:37

I once left my 8 week old with a stranger in a cafe while I went to the car for something. I can't remember what I needed and later could not believe I had done it. The lady was of grandmother age and didn't care that ds's nappy had leaked on her trousers but I can only put it down to having PND.

Abr1de · 27/02/2011 19:38

'BTW it is not a good idea to agree to watch someone's child in a situation like this. If you agree, you assume responsibility for them which means you then owe a duty of care and can be sued if something happens e.g. if this baby had choked or been injured in some way.'

I really doubt this is the case.

nailak · 27/02/2011 19:47

what happened to community responsibility? acting like a community etc, if im in the park and i see another kid in danger, or crying, or if im in soft play whatever i would act exactly the same as i would if it was my kisd, try and move them out of danger,pick them up dust them off try to find their mum who is probably chasing their sibling on the other side of park etc etc

Trinaluce · 27/02/2011 20:05

I think she sounds like a bit of a nutter tbh!

I work for the NHS and am occasionally called upon to cover reception for our paediatric clinic. The waiting room's full of toys, videos, playhouse, football table, all that kind of stuff as, due to the nature of the clinic, the kids are likely to be waiting a while.

A few weeks ago a man came into the waiting area with a little boy - can't have been much more than a year old - sat him down to play with the toys for a bit, all without checking in at reception. I thought perhaps he was waiting for wife to park the car or something - but no. Five minutes after walking in, he stands up and goes to leave - without the boy! I challenged him and asked where he was going, and he said he was 'just nipping up into the post natal ward to see his wife'! Er, no, don't think so. I told him we weren't a creche, and he just shrugged and said 'yeah, but you're all CRB cleared and that aren't you?'

I told him that yes, we were, but we're also all trained in reporting vulnerable children to social services and the police.

He collected his son and left....

Original poster
YankNCock · 27/02/2011 20:15

thrifty the roast dinner was £5.50. Also remember that the museum is free, and they did actually provide fairly inexpensive items for children that age (sandwiches, yogurt, etc). This museum cafe was more like a proper restaurant. I had a very nice tuna steak with sweet chilli sauce and some couscous. They were also making individual pizzas and had homemade soup. Saw plenty of other children managing just fine with what was on offer.

Given the style of the restaurant, I thought it was weird for her to be banging on about fish fingers, chips and beans. She seemed particularly miffed that there were no chips. At least her DD got a fruit shoot, heaven help that manager if there hadn't been ANYTHING for her little darling to drink Hmm

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 27/02/2011 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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