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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to put nappies on dd again? Or am I lazy mare?

42 replies

petisa · 27/02/2011 15:02

DD is 2.10 yrs, have been pt since yesterday. Loves her big girl pants and is happy to sit on the toilet. We have a sticker chart, which she really likes, and yesterday after 5 pees on the floor, I stepped things up a bit and offered a chocolate button for every pee in the toilet grin blush

5 wees on the floor and 1 in the toilet yesterday, and 4 huge wees everywhere today (gave her juice to get more practise) and 1 in the toilet today. Huge Praise for the ones in the toilet but I know they were just luck.

When I ask her if she needs to go she says no and then pees on the floor. At the start she minded being wet and called me, now she ignores it. I take her to the loo every half hour but we've only had 2 wees in 2 days that way, and I'd rather wait for another couple of months or so, if it meant she would have more bladder control. She's starting to get really annoyed at me taking her to the loo and asking her about it, but if I leave it up to her she wees on the floor. A while ago I asked her if she needed to go, she said no and weed on the floor 2 mins later and wasn't bothered. Asked her if she wanted nappies back and she said yes.

Am I right in saying she's not ready, even though she's 2.10 yrs? Will there be a time when she's ready and it'll be easier? Or am I a lazy mare who needs to put the work in sooner or later?

OP posts:

seeker · 27/02/2011 15:07

Back to nappies and try again in 3 months.

Potty training is not worth a moment's stress or a single extra washing machine load.

Why would it mean you were lazy? There's no time they have to be dry!

lazylula · 27/02/2011 15:13

It is difficult to say tbh. Not every child gets 'it' straight away and can take a few days. If you have a few days to spare, maybe persevere for a little longer, if not, put her back in nappies and try again in a month or 2 but maybe encourage her to sit on the toilet at each nappy change (when convenient obviously). You are not a lazy mare though, just do what is best for you and your child.

shockers · 27/02/2011 15:17

I too would give it a break and try in a couple of months. If she's now ingnoring being wet, she might get used to that feeling and it will be harder for her and more frustrating for you in the long run.

pjmama · 27/02/2011 15:19

She'll be ready when she's ready, there's no rush. Go with your instincts.

ladyfirenze · 27/02/2011 15:22

didn't even start till mine were three plus. do it the easiest way possible...

Bluemoonrising · 27/02/2011 15:28

My DD took AGES to potty train - she would not do it for us. It took a neighbours daughter to persuade her she wanted to do this, and then it was no trouble at all, although nights took a little longer - she was three and a bit.

My son, on the other hand was just 19 months younger, and so was aware of all this happening. He told us he didn't want nappies any more fairly shortly after that and he was dry straight away, day and night, and he was just over 2.

Every kid is different, let her do this in her time.

Original poster

petisa · 27/02/2011 15:29

Hooray! I love you all, mwah!

I was trying to post to say I didn't want to be accused of aibu by stealth, so I wanted to add I have a 6 month old who's feeding constantly and isn't weaned yet, so I can do without all the puddles of wee, but I was called away by said milk monster mid-post!

So it could be easier a couple of months down the line? Would be ideal if pt was done and dusted when dd2 is eating and bf less but before she starts crawling into all the wee puddles but maybe that's asking for too much!

OP posts:

ladyfirenze · 27/02/2011 15:46

honestly, I really wuldn't fret about age. It's back door competative parenting, and it sucks you in. I have a friend who refused to potty train ds2, as they were selling their house, and it was too much at once. She promised ds2 he could go on the loo like a big boy when they got to the new house. By the time they exchanged keys her ds was almost four. He walked into the new house, literally dropped his pants and demanded to use the toilet from then on. That's the way to do it imo.

Also, until they develop the correct plumbing, ie nerve endings, they can't actually help peeing themselves. This sounds like your dd (being asked if she needs to go, saying no and then two mins later a gushing torrent)

also, pull up's do the inbetween thing, so she could wear them, and use 'em like knickers. Waiting is not lazy!! You are still having to deal with them and their bums 77 times a day.

ladyfirenze · 27/02/2011 15:47

wouldn't d'oh!

nannyl · 27/02/2011 15:51

its causing her stress

its causing YOU stress

She WANTS nappies back....

= Back to nappies for a while (and ignore any comments from friends / family / random strangers who feel the need to comment; its not them up at night with baby and mopping up puddles all day!

EdgarAleNPie · 27/02/2011 16:08

well, if you can't be arsed, then don't be arsed.

but persevere and you might get there.

two days is nothing and those wees on the loo aren't accident.

although i would keep to a small area for training - without pants, and with hard floor

or you could train part time.

up to you.

although i agree that positivity is the way, and demonstrating the 'correct' behaviour helps too - let her see you wee!

Mishy1234 · 27/02/2011 16:15

2.10 is still quite young IMHO. If you feel she could do with more time, I would just go back to nappies and try again in a few months. From my very limited experience, between 2.5 and 3 seems to be the best time.

Meglet · 27/02/2011 16:21

I'd call it a day for this attempt then try again in a couple of months.

I tried with DS when he was 2.6, 2.9, 3yrs, each time he would pee anywhere, we got through 12 pairs of pants in one afternoon and he was oblivious to the whole process. He finally got it at 3.5 and was dry in the night at the same time.

Some kids do it later than others, really doesn't matter IMO. Whatever works for you. I wouldn't bother with pt if you are juggling bf too. Personally I found it much easier to have 2 in nappies.

Pheebe · 27/02/2011 16:22

Pop her back in pull ups but continue to encourage her to use the toilet. Lots of praise, sticker chart etc. You'll know when she's ready to go 'commando' as she'll start taking herself to the loo and her pull ups will be drier longer.

I have never been able to see the sense in 'cold turkey' toilet training.

EdgarAleNPie · 27/02/2011 16:38

it works, pheebe, that is the sense in it.

and historically even 2 is pretty late

coccyx · 27/02/2011 16:40

YABU, you have not tried very long. Pull ups are awful. confuses the child.

seeker · 27/02/2011 16:44

Why give yourself lots of washing and end up with carpets smelling of pee? It's not a race. There is absolutely no point in creating a single moment's worth of stress over potty training.

If you wait til she is absolutely ready, she will say "Mummy, I don;t want to wear nappies any more" and you can say "OK darling, here are some pants and there is the loo"

And the job will be done.

ANd for the record, I think the "can't be arsed" comment is very judgemental and rude.

FreudianSlippery · 27/02/2011 16:52

I could have written your OP! Our first attempt was pointless.

We ended up trying again when she had just turned 3. The crucial difference was that we did not remind her - first time, I was constantly asking her to try. I'm sure this just made too big a deal of it for her.

But the second time I said "if you need a wee, use the potty" and let her get on with playing. She wet herself twice that morning and was dry after that.

MrsDanverclone · 27/02/2011 18:07

I would wait a month or two. I waited till mine were aware that they needed to wee, kept it really relaxed, great if it made it into the potty ( and bribed with a choc button when they did!) but not a problem if they didn't.

Read loads of stories that were potty, wee and poo related. ( how I hated them by the end, especially the tab pulling ones, to pour the wee)

My younger children were potty trained at a much earlier age and much keener than my first, due to the fact they spent much of their baby/toddlerhood squashed into family toilets watching us. By the time they were ready, they knew what was expected and virtually trained themselves. So you could try lots of inane chat, while taking your child to the loo with you and letting her realise that coming out of nappies is a desirable and grown up thing.

onceamai · 27/02/2011 18:18

She's not ready yet. Call it a day. You're not lazy either. When she's ready it will be a breeze. It's not a race and some of the ones who are being described as potty trained probably aren't reaally. Trained for a few perhaps but not independently aware of when they need to go every time.

Good luck - you're doing everything right.

Olessaty · 27/02/2011 18:22

I stopped and went back to nappies after DD trained reasonably well, was fine for a bit, then completely regressed to wetting and dirtying everything. After a couple of stressful weeks, I decided that she just wasn't ready and that I'd stick her back in nappies and see how she liked that. She's never been upset by it so I've left it and watched again for signs that she is ready.

I reckon I'll try again when she's three. It'll be June, so warmer, and I'll have the whole summer holidays to train her before she starts nursery in September.

FabbyChic · 27/02/2011 19:26

I've never potty trained and have two kids, they went to a nursery who trained them at just over the age of two.

I admire those that have the patience to train.

lovechoc · 27/02/2011 19:39

Much easier to do it when the child is ready tbh. I've been there with DS - I just decided to put him back in nappies and tried again a month or so later and he started to get the knack for it himself.

mumbar · 27/02/2011 19:39

Don't push it IMO. DC's will let you know when they are ready.

DS was early but he grew up in a sunny country and often went without a nappy. He announced on his 2nd birthday he was too old for nappies. I would not train a second (if I had one) and would wait til they said the same - be that 2 or 3 or even 4yo.

littlebylittle · 27/02/2011 19:42

Did similar with dd when aged 2.3. Managed only two hours before we went back to nappies!! Had gf's warnings about ploughing on with it ringing in my ears, but knew that could not cope with days or weeks of puddles so left it a couple of months. What can I say? Better timing, still took a while, but know I'd have ended up stressed the first time.

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