to put nappies on dd again? Or am I lazy mare?

[petisa]

DD is 2.10 yrs, have been pt since yesterday. Loves her big girl pants and is happy to sit on the toilet. We have a sticker chart, which she really likes, and yesterday after 5 pees on the floor, I stepped things up a bit and offered a chocolate button for every pee in the toilet grin blush

5 wees on the floor and 1 in the toilet yesterday, and 4 huge wees everywhere today (gave her juice to get more practise) and 1 in the toilet today. Huge Praise for the ones in the toilet but I know they were just luck.

When I ask her if she needs to go she says no and then pees on the floor. At the start she minded being wet and called me, now she ignores it. I take her to the loo every half hour but we've only had 2 wees in 2 days that way, and I'd rather wait for another couple of months or so, if it meant she would have more bladder control. She's starting to get really annoyed at me taking her to the loo and asking her about it, but if I leave it up to her she wees on the floor. A while ago I asked her if she needed to go, she said no and weed on the floor 2 mins later and wasn't bothered. Asked her if she wanted nappies back and she said yes.

Am I right in saying she's not ready, even though she's 2.10 yrs? Will there be a time when she's ready and it'll be easier? Or am I a lazy mare who needs to put the work in sooner or later?

But at the same time you cannot just leave it to the child altogether...I have a nephew who is 5yo and still not able to use a toilet (no special needs).

Mmm not sure if this attempt is a lost cause quite yet. We did my dd when she was 2.5 and had 3 days of constant accidents (10 per day) but then something clicked on day 4 and she was totally dry day and night from that point on. I would give it a week before admitting defeat. I understand your pain though as ds was 6 months old at the time and was either bf or crawling through puddles of pee

Well, you don't have to carry on if this isn't the right time for you but I don't think you can say 'she isn't ready' just cause she has a lot of accidents on days 1 and 2.

It simply isn't necessary to humiliate our children to teach them to use the toilet, as seeker so eloquently points out.

Pullups used correctly most certainly DO NOT confuse the child, they avoid the humiliation, angst and parental displeasure that accompanies 'cold turkey' training and allow the child to progress to using the toilet at their own pace.

'Historically 2 is too late' lolololololol is the only appopriate response to that gem. The only schedule children have is their own.

Be guided by your child OP, she isn't ready and make using the toilet a positive experience.

There was no humiliation or angst when I potty trained my dd. Using emotive adult terms to describe what is a normal part of growing up is rather dramatic. Why would a 2 year pld be humiliated unless their parents were making them feel that way? She just needed a little adjustment period to learn what to do as she was so used to using a nappy. I could have left her for another year but she was ready and all she needed was a little help getting there. It was empowering for her to not be sitting in damp nappies and having to cleaned.

I'd advise going with what the DC is ready for - I fell into the peer pressure trap with DD1 when she was 2yrs 4 mths - we lasted a day, it was hopeless. Two months later, she came out of the paddling pool, I suggested putting the nappy went on and she had a screaming tantrum. So I said fine, big girl pants it is then, had a dry day after, sent her to nursery with about 7 changes of clothes. She had a max of one accident a day and by the friday (so 7 days later) was completely dry and independent about it, taking herself off to the big toilet by herself and only using potty if outside.

With DD2 we just waited for the tantrum and at exactly he same age she did the same thing, self-trained in a week. There just wasn't any stress with it and that makes such a difference.

"although i would keep to a small area for training - without pants, and with hard floor"

edgar allen - this is quite dangerous you know. Wee gets really slippery on a hard floor, as I realised when Dts1 was pootling about naked on the laminate (I was obsessed with 'airing' their bums when dts were littler) and absolutely stacked it in a wee puddle. His little head got a nasty wallop because he fell straight back!

OOh what is the tab pulling wee pouring book please?Dgs2 is 2 and showing slight interest in potties etc.We have the Potty Book for Boys and has Anyone Seen my Potty but that's all.

by the time i got to dd3, potty training was actually toilet training- done in a week for both wee and poo. I put her in pants, took her to nursery and it was done. The most important thing though is that i waited until she was 3 years and 2 months. She had the wee thing done in 2 days.- a total of 6 wet knickers.

try again in a few months. beleive me- the older 2 i tried earlier with no more sucess.

I haven't read all the posts as exhausted by battling DD2 to sleep - usually takes about 15 mins, took 2 hours this evening. DD1 was trained at 22 mths & we had quite a lot of accidents in the first few days (we have 40 pairs of 18-24mth pants from that first week) but by Day 5 was really getting the hang of it - I think it helps to remember what a big thing they are trying to learn to do and compare it to an adult learning a new physical skill - could you learn to roller skate or play the piano in 24 hours? No, so why should they be able to master potty training in an instant.

That said, if you are attached to a milk monster & unable to help out your elder child, then maybe you're just making yourself a whole heap of extra stress & I'd put her back into nappies (if she's happy to co-operate) and leave it a few months til it's warmer (less clothes to take off / change, you can spend more time out doors) and you'll have more time to divide between the kids. When you do go for it, I do recommend buttons and a 'hit/miss/tried' chart so that you can see if she is genuinely making progress - it can be difficult to see whether you are or not to start with.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Wow, lots of interesting responses, feel so much better, thanks! Put the nappies back on yesterday and feel it was the right thing to do. We're going to try again in a couple of months. I do agree it's not a race and I'm not bothered about changing nappies, I was just feeling the pressure as practically all of her wee friends of the same age are potty trained. Thanks again everyone!

Pranma

The tab pulling, wee pouring book was an American one my MIL sent. No more diapers or something, luckily we are bringing our children up to be bilingual and they were able to cope with the American terminology. The part that showed the very bright yellow wee pouring from potty to toilet, via the magic of the sliding paper tab, was very popular with my children, resulting in many repairs and then a trip to the bin when it was beyond the help of Sellotape .

"Historically 2 is too late".

It is true that previous generations potty trained much earlier than we do. But this was because they didn't have washing machines! It is possible to train children very young, but only with an enormous amount of effort. Obviously worth it when you were using terry nappies and washing everything by hand.

In later years nobody is going to care whether your child was potty trained at 2, 3 or 4. So I think it makes sense to wait until they are ready and make this stage as easy as possible.

aah of course! it would make much more of a difference if I'd had to do it like a person from history

DD has been potty trained for 18 months and still says no when I ask her if she wants to go to the loo.

I would suggest sticking with it & sitting her down every 1.5 hours or so (you soon work out how long the gap should be). If you are going out the on loo before you go, and then every opportunity you can while you are out.

Chocolate button for result with loads of praise!!!!!!!! Ditto loads of praise if she starts to say I need to go & if she manages to hold on.

What drives me a bit potty (!) is constant reference to how x is a bug girl/boy now how clever etc, etc. I do mean excessive, not just within family. Children are ready at different times, mainly due to their physicality and I don'tvthink it helps those who aren't ready to be constantly reminded of it. Imagine if people did that with reading! I have several, usually very sensitive friends who have constantly bigged up their early potty trainers. I don't think it's excessive praise that makes them quickly dry.