to sleep at a male friends house?

[nonamesavalible]

Just finding out the general opinion on here.
I have a male friend I have known 9 years and have always been close with but nothing has have or will ever happend between us as for one Im married and also it would be too good a friendship to ruin.

The only problem is he does live a distance away so when he visits he usually sleeps over on my sofa and same if I visit him, except I end up in his bed (obviously clothed and nothing happens except sleep) as his sofa is too small for me to sleep on comfortably.

My husband is completly fine with this and gets on with my friend as well and doesn't see it an issue, but when I speak to my female friends they says it's not a done thing and I shouldn't do it as it's not fair to DH.

So my question: is it BU to have a close male friend when you are married.

but for OP it is normal that they share beds when staying over. it doesn't make it inappropriate just because it isn't soemthing you would do.

Yes, what cat64 said basically.
I also find it a bit odd that your friend doesn't have an airbed or a roll up mattress. I'm assuming you aren't the only one to ever stay over in his house/flat. Does he always share a bed with whoever sleeps over then? It's obviously not a problem for you guys, but is it really necessary?

well, is an airbed/roll-up mattress really necessary if no-one concerned is uncomfortable with sharing the bed?

I don't know. I wonder if everyone is so happy to share his bed. What about if his mother stays?

maybe she never stays. my mother has never stayed in my house, but i have had my sister and cousins and friends, no-one (male or female) had a problem with sharing a bed. i do have an airbed because when i was younger i had parties and lots of people stayed, but again, no-one minded sharing.

Am lol-ing at us trying to second guess the visitor habits of a random stranger.

But my point still stands. Surely every home - especially one in possession of an uncomfortable sofa - has a roll up or airbed stashed somewhere. Why assume all your guests want to share your crusty sheets. I mean it's just rude, isn't it?

I'm with cat64 on this one. I don't even like sharing a bed with another female (I'm ok with sharing a room, not the same bed) - only comfortable with doing that with my dh or dc.

If you and your husband are ok with it though I don't see why anyone else should have a problem with it.

well it's not rude if that is always what they have done and none of his guests have ever objected. if no-one has ever said, "actually, i'm going to sleep on the sofa" then he has no reason to think they are uncomfortable in his bed.

Why on earth do your friends know where you sleep when you stay over there? What is it to do with them?

Thank you Boo for your responses in my absence.
My male friend doesn't really have any other people that stay over, he has no family unfortuntly and the rest of his friends live local or they can drive.
In the 9 years we have known each other it has never been anything sexual.
I see him as a big brother figure and he sees me as his sister.
My friends like to know where I have been if not home, it is a close-knit community and they know when I'm not home.

I can see why some people are and thats fine you're entitled to your opinion it's just my friend having a go at me made me question if IWBU but after reading the positive responses on here I've relised as long as DH is happy with it and it is all innocent then there isn't a problem.