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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with dp re lego

41 replies

girlygirl1975 · 26/02/2011 21:08

Have been on a lovely shopping day out with dp with dc. Whilst shopping we split up and he told older ds whilst I took younger one. Big mistake. He ended up spending £80 on lego. I know we probably can afford it but I feel deceived. I think he knew that I would question spending this much money on dc when its not a birthday or Christmas.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 26/02/2011 21:09

does he himself like lego? Grin maybe he wanted to play with it

southeastastra · 26/02/2011 21:09

was it the lego ninja set? i quite fancy that

varyingdegreesofdeafness · 26/02/2011 21:11

I would throttle him. Then build a sturdy box out of lego to hide him in Grin

Original poster
girlygirl1975 · 26/02/2011 21:11

Yes, he does and no not ninja set!

OP posts:
Youllskimmer · 26/02/2011 21:12

If you can afford it I can't see the problem.
Would he stop you from buying stuff?

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2011 21:13

omfg! £80 is a lot of money

i have to admit i often splash out on lego as a treat for me DS1... but £80!!!!!

still, if you can afford it... these are the things the kids remember, and it's a NICE thing he has done (even if he ought to have told you before spending it)
he has every right to treat his own children I guess!

chopchopbusybusy · 26/02/2011 21:14

If you can afford it I don't see the problem provided it was bought to be shared by the DCs.

MorticiaAddams · 26/02/2011 21:16

I don't see a problem as it's a family present rather than just for one dc.

I often buy something like that (but not quite as expensive) for the holidays as it saves a fortune on days out.

Thingumy · 26/02/2011 21:18

Hardly a crime.He earns and you are aren't skint eh?

Are you pissed that he will be now spending tomorrow building a £80 set?

Reckon that will take a few hours Grin.

Dh often spends all day with ds building Lego.

I think it's great father son time.

rookiemater · 26/02/2011 21:20

DH is like this and I can understand why you are annoyed, because if he gets this just because its a shopping trip, then it ups the ante to make christmas and birthdays special and leads the DCs to think they can get something everytime they go out.

Still his heart is in the right place so why not encourage him to flash the cash on trips out rather than things and keep the expensive lego for present time.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/02/2011 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solooovely · 26/02/2011 21:24

I can see why you are upset. That's a lot of money to spend without consulting each other (well it is in my house). If it was £20 I wouldn't have been bothered.

FourFortyFour · 26/02/2011 21:26

Deceived?

cantspel · 26/02/2011 21:27

I cant see your problem. You can afford it and so I think it was a really nice thing for him to do and there is nothing better than to spend a sunday bonding with his children over a lego set.

Thingumy · 26/02/2011 21:27

Does your dh control what you spend OP?

Driftwood999 · 26/02/2011 21:28

Lego is often worth its' weight in gold in play speak. If dp plays with it then it will be an enduring pleasure for a long time to come. You need to build up a good set. It's a conspiracy, but a lovely one Smile

MadamDeathstare · 26/02/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firawla · 26/02/2011 22:12

if you can afford it then i don't see the problem. i would be quite happy, its nice to see a dad buying something that he will be able to use spending time together with the dc so was a good idea for him to get it and im sure your dc were happy about it?

Original poster
girlygirl1975 · 26/02/2011 22:15

I think the only reason why I am cross is that I think dc need to know value of things. They are getting to the stage where they seen to be wanting things all the time. I am trying to teach them that they can't keep having every thing they want.
No, I wouldn't say I am controlling. I do normally work on basis that dh works hard so I am generally relaxed when he buys the latest Lego Set or whatever. I just think that dc have had far too many of these treats lately.

OP posts:
Ismene · 26/02/2011 22:18

I don't understand why it is ok to spend £££ on days out but not on activities? That £80 lego will be used countless times no doubt, you could have spent that on a day out too? If you can afford it then why worry?

This half term I could have spend £15 taking DD to a crappy plastic skate rink everyone was banging on about, instead I bought her some rollerblades in the sale for the same price. I would have have spent £15 on 30 minutes of fun, but I spent it on several afternoons and her learning to skate!

foreverondiet · 26/02/2011 22:18

Can you give the DCs a star chart for good behaviour/reading and tell them they get it when they finish the chart. That way the lego has a value?

caughtinanet · 26/02/2011 22:20

I can see why you're annoyed, I think £80 is a huge amount to spend on a non birthday or Christmas present especially if its not something you had planned or even spoken about beforehand.

I'm really quite surprised at the previous posts, does the fact that its Lego mean that the OP's dp shouldn't have discussed it with her first ?

BitOfFun · 26/02/2011 22:23

I can see why you are pissed off too. It doesn't really help kids appreciate my stingy efforts at birthdays that big treats aren't to be dished around willy-nilly.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 26/02/2011 22:24

agree with caughtinanet.

FreudianSlippery · 26/02/2011 22:25

I can see why you are annoyed but I don't think it's worth getting annoyed about now.

80 is a massive amount, but at least Lego is a decent quality product and will get loads of use, and probably create lovely family memories too.

If you really feel that the DCs are getting spoilt you MUST talk with DH properly so you are 'on the same page'. Agree a limit on spending or something?