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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not iron because he did not say thank you

36 replies

Pancakeflipper · 26/02/2011 17:19

According to my DP I have my mardy pants on (not ironed - life is too short to iron.

Many years ago he made a complaint about my lack of ironing skills and shirt sleeves so since then he's been responsible for ensuring he has ironed attire for work.

But since the kids arriving and me being part-time working, if I have time I add them to the usual household ironing.

2 weeks ago I ironed 11 shirts. He never said thank you to me. He said "oh" when I informed him that he need not worry for the next fortnight about shirts.

On Monday he's off away for the week at a conference. Best shirts required.

I did the ironing last night (he went out for a pint or 5 with a friend). I looked at his shirts and thought "No. No thank you. No shirts ironed."

He is huffing and puffing at how petty I am.

I think he may be right. It now feels petty.

Do I set up the ironing board and crack on or do I enjoy an evening of undomesticated bliss?

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 17:20

YANBU

it seems years of having to iron his own shirts hasn't made him any more appreciative of you so why should you carry on doing it now?

TheArmadillo · 26/02/2011 17:21

I'm split

they're his shirts.

BUt it is a bit petty not to do them if you're doing all the rest.

I wouldn't get the ironing board out specially though. (I don't iron at all)

peeriebear · 26/02/2011 17:22

YANBU
I would have my petty crumpled mardy pants on too :)

Thingumy · 26/02/2011 17:23

Can he not iron his own shirts?

Cicatrice · 26/02/2011 17:23

Don't iron. You don't have time.

AMumInScotland · 26/02/2011 17:24

Well, it is a bit petty, but equally he shouldn't take it for granted that you are now going to iron his shirts. I'd say you're about even tbh! Maybe you need to sit down and talk about the bigger picture here?

iwasyoungonce · 26/02/2011 17:24

YANBU.

He might remember his manners next time.

Tortington · 26/02/2011 17:25

i am unemplyed at the mo and have settled into a routine of housework and cooking. if i had a gun i would shoot the dog and them myself at the tedious nature of this brainless work.

however dh irons his shirt every morning - gets up earlier than he need to by 15 mins or so for just this task.

i wont do it.

do op i am on your side, tell him to fuck off the ungrrateful fuckhead

zikes · 26/02/2011 17:27

Aw, I think you should have a chat: acknowledge you might be feeling a tad petty but that it comes from feeling taken for granted. All you really wanted was a 'ta very much' and you wouldn't be wearing your mardy pants. Grin

It'd do you both good to have a laugh about how trivial an argument it is really, hopefully with the outcome, more seriously, of making sure you notice & appreciate each other's efforts.

PonceyMcPonce · 26/02/2011 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Asinine · 26/02/2011 17:47

I don't get excited when dh pays bills, checks tyre pressures or whatever else and he doesn't get excited when I iron, wash etc. It would be very odd to thank your partner for every aspect of daily living. Do you usually thank him for everything? YABU but if you are feeling generally under appreciated let him know.

Starbear · 26/02/2011 17:48

I don't iron and I'm part-time 3days a week. I do the following
cook for him
clean his clothes (Lots PE Teacher with smelly kit) clean the house
shop for food
Buy gifts for family and friends
Shop for clothes for him & child
Look after our child
Stay in to look after said child while he goes to rugby, football and the pub once a week.
Organise our social life (very little of this is my social life)
Organise childcare
Sorry I don't do his ironing and he doesn't cook, it was the deal when we met. I would if I worked two days instead of three. I think as I would have the extra time Smile

Starbear · 26/02/2011 17:50

P.S we do say thank you to each other for a lot of things, it makes the day go better. Manners don't cost and smooths out the day

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 17:53

YABU to have begun tending to the clothing of another adult who is capale ofdoing it themselves i the first place!

moondog · 26/02/2011 17:58

It would have been nice if he said thank you but do you always say thank you to him?

I think it's sad when couples don't do things for each other. My husband has just set off for the airport with a case full of ironed clothes.

I was more than happy to do them-he spent 11 hours yesterday sorting out my computer and new phone. Least I could do.

(Bummer about the job Custardo. Was that unexpected or no the horizon? Sad)

Tortington · 26/02/2011 18:11

oh it was totally out of the blue - very covert secret shit - back stabbing bastards - but there you go, i have been frantically applying for jobs since i got made redundant a few months ago

Asinine · 26/02/2011 18:20

Btw at £10 per 5 shirts i'd be a millionaire with all the washing I do.

moondog · 26/02/2011 18:22

Swines.
Fingers crossed for you.

mellicauli · 26/02/2011 18:24

His conference. He needs to organise himself.
I've been on loads of conferences. They are like mini-holidays with your work colleagues. The hard bit is that you have to do professional looking presentations on not quite enough sleep with a bit of a hangover. From all the partying.

It will mean more drudge work for you at home, so I really see no harm in making him spend an hour or so ironing his shirts.

If it is such a big deal for him to iron a few shirts, why does he expect you to do it for no thanks?

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 26/02/2011 18:29

With the exception of a couple of items of clothing I own I don't do ironing.

OP YANBU

Original poster
Pancakeflipper · 26/02/2011 18:41

Thank you for your thoughts and your ironing situations.

DP referred to the shirts again. He asked if I hadn't done them because I ran out of time or if it was because I was annoyed at him phoning on Friday 6.30pm on his way home from work to say he was off out with his friend for a pint and curry night and I'd already got preparations underway for our evening meal?

I said neither (I was hoping to have a takeaway last night so I wasn't cooking - but missed that ammunition. Damn. Joking to all those who think this is a sign of relationship failure).

I said it was because he managed to say "oh" but not "ta" when I proudly said I'd ironed all 11 shirts plus all other ironing.

But I did take on board from comments here we cannot say thanks for everything we do for each other said that also.

He said 2 weeks not having to iron is very thankable. I agree.

Starbear - I think you hit it on the head. It's manners. It costs nothing. It's good to use and makes the world spin just that bit happier ( and my kids might pick up on it).

OP posts:
Trinaluce · 26/02/2011 18:48

YANBU, if he's going to moan about the quality of the work, he can bloody well do it himself.

DH and I have had a long-standing agreement: he does the dishes (usually after I'VE stood and done the cooking) and I do all the laundry and ironing. He has ways of hinting that maybe this isn't being done fast/often enough, like rummaging through the dirty laundry and asking if he has any socks. My response?
'Did you wash any?'
'No'
'Then probably not. You know where the washing machine is.'

EveWasFramed72 · 26/02/2011 18:52

I have NEVER ironed for DH, unless I am feeling particularly benevolent...pretty much from the day we got together, I was clear that I don't iron what I don't wear. I do my work stuff, he does his, no argument.

Original poster
Pancakeflipper · 26/02/2011 18:54

Trinaluce - ooh get you, you bolshy girl!
The quality of workmanship complaint is a trigger point with me. One of my pet hates is those whom moan but never do a thing to try to resolve it or offer constructive criticism.

Anyway don't think I will tell you who is going to iron these shirts. Don't fancy the rotten tomato chucking.

OP posts:
janiesmum · 26/02/2011 18:54

I think it's sad when couples don't do things for each other.

Agree, not in the OPs case as this seems a one off, but feel sad for all those who seem smug that they dont do everyday things for their supposed loved ones, even though they are at home every day and partner works :(

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