To not iron because he did not say thank you

[Pancakeflipper]

According to my DP I have my mardy pants on (not ironed - life is too short to iron.

Many years ago he made a complaint about my lack of ironing skills and shirt sleeves so since then he's been responsible for ensuring he has ironed attire for work.

But since the kids arriving and me being part-time working, if I have time I add them to the usual household ironing.

2 weeks ago I ironed 11 shirts. He never said thank you to me. He said "oh" when I informed him that he need not worry for the next fortnight about shirts.

On Monday he's off away for the week at a conference. Best shirts required.

I did the ironing last night (he went out for a pint or 5 with a friend). I looked at his shirts and thought "No. No thank you. No shirts ironed."

He is huffing and puffing at how petty I am.

I think he may be right. It now feels petty.

Do I set up the ironing board and crack on or do I enjoy an evening of undomesticated bliss?

pancake I had a minor paddy the other day after 1.5hrs sleep with ds up, so house looking a little filthy untidy due to lack of sleep and I discoverd that what I wanted to record on tv, dh had cancelled so he could gawp at kirsty, he had thrown away the only thing on the floor that dd had been using as a tunnel (long tube that had had wrapping paper around it) but not only thrown had bent in half and "ruined" it. he then told me he had no shirts left and ironing needed to be done.

So I have small non sleeping child, do all the cleaning/washing/cooking blah blah blah, he is sleeping in the spare room so getting lots of sleep. My paddy involved me thinking sod it, do it yourself and throwing all his shirts on the floor for him to do himself.

Oh and I don't see being on maternity leave as having loads of time with a toddler and a baby.......... surely my job is making sure both children are fed? Well thats what I tell him anyway!

I have a friend who makes her dh go to the pub one night a week so she can watch "her" telly and iron

We do say thank you to each other for most things - it's become kind of a habit, and it's nice - makes us both feel good. It's not hard to thank each other - hardly an onerous task. I mean, we're talking a quick "thanks for doing that" not gushing hearts and roses.

Figgy - you make me look like an amateur. Hope you get some decent sleep soon. Being deprived of it does make piddling about with fav TV programmes worthy of shirt trampling.

And ta janiesmum for spotting this is not about me not wanting to do domestic chores or not helping my DP. I see us as a team but just sometimes my DP does alot of taking and basks in the glory and "forgets" to invest in this particular team.

I am currently on a housework embargo having argued I have been doing to do too much of it or the last 20 years. It is going quite well, although I have secretly dusted from time to time and cleaned the loo occasionally.

DH has taken over ironing duties. He does it moderately well and I always say thank you. He does not expect me to do it ever again, and appreciates that 90% of it is his shirts anyway.

Fair enough, I think. And I rather like him doing the laundry. And he likes me to be happy and not snarling at him through tiredness. It's a win-win situation IMO.

I dont iron for DH, never have and never will unless he becomes incapable. Dont iron for DS1 or DFD either. Wont iron for DC's 3, 4 & 5 when they are old enough to do it themselves.

My sister is a pretty down to earth sort but I cannot understand why she moans about the hours of ironing she has to do. She has a DS aged 7 but her OH and her 17 year old DD should be doing their own bloody ironing IMO.

That seems a little selfish tbh MrsDeVere.

Pancakeflipper Not bolshy, just can't stand the way he asks! If I'm going to do the cooking I don't say 'Do I have any chopping boards?' or whatever!

He was living on his own for quite some time before we got together so he knows how it all works

What, not to do his ironing? Dont be silly.

I spend most of my time caring for him, this allows him to go to work in the evenings. If I didnt do all the other things I do for him, he wouldnt be able to work.

He cant walk very far but he can do his own bloody ironing.

My DS1 is at college 2 and half days a week. The rest of the time is his own. I however have five children (one with SN) a disabled husband and a job plus a degree to study for. I do all the cleaning, washing and cooking.

YANBU. i don't iron when a good shake and fold will do, but if i did i would expect a thanks. Talk to him about it and explain that in future he's if he wants perfectly flat clothes, he can iron them.