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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send dc to the cm while i have some time off work?

35 replies

annababy · 25/02/2011 12:51

Basically i work full time with 10 month old twins, have a few days off work but still sent dts to the cm.I have felt recently exhausted and felt like i was going to collapse somedays. I will have the remainder of my hol with them but for 2 days still took the dts to their cm, didnt think it was an issue until dp said 'aren't you going to spend the whole time with them?I am surprised as i thought you would want to spend all your free time with them.'
I feel a bit crap now but to be honest all i have done is spend my 'free time' cleaning the house and doing all the bloody chores that i just dont get time for usually.

OP posts:
ethelina · 25/02/2011 12:53

I would have done the same. Smile

DrSpechemin · 25/02/2011 12:54

YANBU - working ft with twins sounds like an incredibly stressful balancing act.
Now - go and enjoy the last of your childfree time with a nice cup of Brew and recharge your batteries before going to pick them up :o

abenstille · 25/02/2011 12:55

yanbu, get some rest and have some quality time when they get back

2cats2many · 25/02/2011 12:55

Enjoy your free time. You must have very little of it.

Ignore your DP. Buy a very large newspaper. Go to a cafe. Buy a very large coffee. Enjoy both.

ceebeegeebies · 25/02/2011 12:55

Absolutely NBU Smile I used to do this a lot when my 2 DC were at nursery as it was the only time I could get to myself and I really appreciated the time to just sleep chill out, get chores done, shopping at my own pace etc etc. Particularly if you have to pay for those days anyway (which I did).

It did feel odd the first couple of times I did it with DS1 but then I got over it and started to really look forward to those days.

All changed now that DS1 is at school as all my days off are being used to cover the school holidays Sad Have been off all this week and DS2 has still gone to nursery his usual 4 days as this has allowed me to spend time with just DS1 and do things that a nearly 5-year old can do but a 2 year old can't (like the cinema etc).

In fact, DS1 is about to go round to a friends to play for a couple of hours, DS2 is at nursery so I will have a couple of hours to myself this afternoon and I am looking forward to it Grin

Purplefan · 25/02/2011 12:56

YANBU - you would probably still have to pay the CM anyway so you might as well make the most of a bit of time to yourself! Smile

MissVerinder · 25/02/2011 12:56

YADNBU!

feelingworthless · 25/02/2011 12:56

what abenstille said Grin you will feel so much after having a break

B52s · 25/02/2011 13:06

I do this, day off on a CM day, get loads done or nothing at all. Still have to pay the CM anyway, so they may as well enjoy being with their friends there. So YANBU.

BikeRunSki · 25/02/2011 13:08

YADNBU - That is what I am doing today. Do it about once every couple of months.

plupedantic · 25/02/2011 13:12

Both spending the time ot have a break and spending the time to catch up on housework (so you don't neglect the DCs when you actually are with them) are both valid. Suggesting otherwise is nonsense.

But is it just possible that he is making assumptions about your hormones and imagining a need to be with the DTSs every second, without a break, because that's "what mothers are like"?

compo · 25/02/2011 13:12

I do feel a leetle sorry for the 2 year old at nursery while his big brother has all the fun! Hope he gets some alone time with you too

reallytired · 25/02/2011 13:16

I have done exactly the same with my little girl.

"I do feel a leetle sorry for the 2 year old at nursery while his big brother has all the fun! "

What is fun for a nine year old is not necessarily suitable for a two year old. For example its not practical to take a 22 month old baby on water slides.

I work part time and its nice to spend quality time with both children one on one occassionally.

Original poster
annababy · 25/02/2011 13:25

Thanks for the replies, i love my children so much but have really felt like i need a break from them-please please dont think that sounds bad.and just having a couple of hours to catch up on my sleep has been good.
i have a stressful job and my day includes a long commute, quite an inflexible cm (she is lovely though), lots of pressure to deliver at work which i am doing but never any time for me which as the dts are getting bigger is getting harder.
Compo- both dts have quality time with me every day and i haven't done this since going back to work

OP posts:
Joobles · 25/02/2011 13:36

I have got 3 year old twins and work full-time. I live for my (rare) child free days off! I think I would go mad if I did not have some time to myself. I am sure your DP would do the same if he was in your shoes, in fact, next time he has a day off leave the children with him then see if he still thinks you should be spending what little free time you have with them.

As an aside, since when does any parent of small children get 'free time' while they are actually looking after their children - it doesn't happen.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 25/02/2011 13:38

YANBU - have done the same (don't have twins though), will do it again! One of the benefits of having a CM :) Enjoy a little time to yourself!

Goblinchild · 25/02/2011 13:43

Does DP spend every free moment with them when he's not working?
Only such selfless martyrdom could entitle him to mage such a dim-witted remark.
Working and parenting is a balancing act, with you trying to stay sane and functioning. If that meweans you need a morning off in a bubble bath, that's fine. But what did you do with your 'free time'?
Housework.
Next time, go for whatever you need to stay happy.

Goblinchild · 25/02/2011 13:44

mage?
make.
Don't know what happened there.

Meglet · 25/02/2011 13:44

yanbu. I always send the dc's to nursery when I'm off.

leeloo1 · 25/02/2011 13:56

YADNBU! You need time to yourself too.

Having said that (speaking as a childminder) it might be appreciated if you picked them up half an hour early. :) That way you could assuage any residual guilt you're feeling and she gets a little break. Wink

diplomatdog · 25/02/2011 14:01

I don't know really.

I'm at home with two children and I don't get to do any of those things that have been referenced - getting on with chores without kids under feet, shopping at my own pace, lying around relaxing or whatever.

I would just feel too guilty about the fact that my children could be at home with their mother but were instead with someone else.

But that's just me!

PigValentine · 25/02/2011 14:04

YANBU. I would probably feel guilty that they were stuck at home with me tidying while they could be enjoying themselves at CM's Smile

Joobles · 25/02/2011 14:07

I also find that when I do have 'free time' (ie. child free) I spend it whizzing around trying to do the things I can't do while they are home, like bits of decorating, clearing out their toys, waxing my tash!

ceebeegeebies · 25/02/2011 14:51

Compo it was me whose DS2 has gone to nursery whilst DS1 is on half-term with me...if it makes you feel better, I only work 4 days a week so my 2-year old has my 1-2-1 attention for 1 day a week during term-times so I like to think that they both get equal quality time with me/DH Smile

MCos · 25/02/2011 15:20

YANBU - all moms need a break from their kids!