To think they should be allowed to have IVF?

[MrsShuffleBottom]

When he has an ex wife with whom he had 2 DC and refuses to pay any maintenance for because he can't afford it. The DC are both approaching their teens and he has never paid a penny.

But he can find the money to partically fund IVF with his second wife, 90% of the tab is being paid by the NHS.

Can I just clarify a few things.

I don't object to IVF being funded by the NHS that is not the problem.

And it is my business storminaCcup I have no problem with the woman or her age, and I do know for a fact that she has no savings.

I think maybe they lied and said he did not have any previous children?

Who is Janice?

Janice... such a cross-dresser's name.

If she is donating eggs then it is very unlikely that this couple are having to bear any costs whatsoever, and neither is the NHS. It is much more likely to be an "eggshare" arrangement whereby the egg recipient(s) pays the costs of the donor's IVF. See for example here for cost details for one NHS hospital, so the donor pays nil for IVF, £500 for ICSI (the more common treatment for male infertility), whereas the donee is paying £5,750 for their cycle instead of the £2,500 it would cost to use their own eggs.

So whilst they may be having treatment in an NHS hospital, the NHS is in all probability not actually funding her treatment. I would imagine that there would be all sorts of ethical issues with the idea that women could only have NHS funded treatment under an eggshare arrangement (which typically results in a lower conception rate for the donor).

I didn't get IVF on NHS because my husband had kids from a previous marriage, they point blank refused, so I'm suprised they are getting it?

Also, I didn't think the NHS did egg sharing? Thought it was only fee paying clinics? But I had my IVF 4 years ago so things might have changed?

Maryz, I know because the woman is my sister. I have all the information from her. He does have fertility issues caused by an illness after he had his first 2 DC. There is absolutly no way they can conceive naturally.

I am worried because he is old enough to be her father, and the way he treats his first wife and children makes me think that this is how he will treat dsis. He is a reckless and irresponsible and somewhat controlling. My dsis goes along with what he wants to keep him happy.

Then surely she has explained that their IVF is being funded by the egg recipients? The NHS does not expect women to give up eggs in return for treatment.

Then surely she has explained that their IVF is being funded by the egg recipients? The NHS does not expect women to give up eggs in return for treatment.

Thats not what is happening lady

You said that they are donating eggs. They may be still having treatment in an NHS hospital but NHS doesn't do eggsharing.

Ok having read the entire thread, there is definitely something fishy going on: IVF isn't the most obvious treatment for male infertility, especially if the woman is only 23. Certainly they wouldn't be at the IVF stage quickly, but only after exhausting other less risky treatments and would be looking at a fairly lengthy wait on the NHS if that were to be an option ( which it typically isn't if one partner already has children regardless of whether or not he is paying for them). Sorry, you may be close to them, but they haven't shared all the facts with you. Perhaps they can sense that you're not keen on the idea...

If they have finally reached this stage on the NHS then they will have been through a couple of years of intrusive and invasive tests, answering all sorts of questions, and having most aspects of their sex life subject to medical examination including post coital swabs. They're obviously very keen to have this child together, especially if they are having to live with the fact that your sister's doner may go on to conceive whilst your sister remains childless.