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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sorry - This one is also about a dog - mine!

45 replies

babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 16:25

I have a cocker spaniel who is 5 years old. He is a really lovely dog, if a bit crazy. He has always been impossible to walk on the lead and pulls like crazy despite many dog school graduation certificates!!

I've recently had a baby, and after a few tentative days he absolutely loves him. Tries to lick his face - a lot! (tries!) and sleeps under his Moses basket / cot - wherever he is basically.

My nephew was here with my S and BIL to see the baby and my dog sort of went for him.

I honestly didn't see exactly what happened as it was so quick, but my nephew said he wasn't doing anything and my dog just 'went' for him.

There was no bite or anything, but I did hear him snarl which is very unlike him... My nephew (7) was absolutely fine, but a bit shaken up.

Understandably, my S and BIL were concerned and started telling me that my dog couldn't be trusted and will go for my baby.

He has never, ever, done anything like this before. The reason he was just in the room laying on the floor is because the kids usually love playing with him.

AIBU to forget this happened or do you think this is a sign of a bigger problem?

I really really love my dog... Until we had DS he was our baby.

OP posts:

SmashingNarcissistsMirrors · 22/02/2011 16:27

it is a sign of a bigger problem i'm afraid.

if you can't bear to do "the deed" you will have to be rigorous about muzzling all the time when there are other people around, particularly children.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/02/2011 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahJ63 · 22/02/2011 16:30

Maybe he was being protective over baby...

KittaKatta · 22/02/2011 16:33

Could he have being protecting the baby?

Dawnybabe · 22/02/2011 16:34

If you know your dog is lovely tbh I would be a bit about the nephew. Any kid will say 'nothing, honest!' when asked. My cocker spaniel is lovely but if the dc's go near him he will grumble. Perhaps dn did it by accident, but please don't assume there was no provocation. Unless there is something mentally wrong with a dog it doesn't generally give a warning without reason.

Casserole · 22/02/2011 16:41

My dog, who is soppy as they come, will snarl if she thinks another dog or a stranger is getting too close to my 2 year old when we're out and about. My guess would be that the dog (mistakenly) thought the baby was threatened by your nephew and was firing off a warning growl to protect the baby.

But that's just my feeling. Hopefully some more knowledgeable people will be along soon. Otherwise I'd say talk to your vet?

LessNarkyPuffin · 22/02/2011 16:43

Probably protecting the baby.

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 16:46

i know this sounds biased but my aunt's dog went for my son in what sounds like very similar circumstances.

ds was kneeling on the floor watching tv about 2 feet away from her terrier. the dog was lying on it's side. ds did nothing, wasn't singing, moving, twitching. just watching TV and teh dog all of a sudden jumped up and went straight at his face, it nipped him, didn't draw blood but there was a bruise pretty soon after it. my aunt who is evry defensive about her dogs was in the room and saw the whole thing and she even said that ds did nothing, taht the dog jsut jumped at him. so it can happen just like that.

if it were my dog it wouldn't be near the dcs I'm afraid after that. i couldn't trust it even if i was in the same room.

Lucyintheskywithdiazepam · 22/02/2011 16:46

Your nephew 'said' he wasn't doing anything. Were there no adults in the room supervising? Did no-one witness it? If not, for all anyone knows, your nephew's idea of 'doing nothing' is pulling the dogs tail while poking it in the eyes.

Never, NEVER leave a dog and child (of any age) alone unsupervised. On this occasion, no harm was done because your dig growled to issue a warning for your nephew not to do something. That is utterly correct behaviour on the part of your dog. If a growl goes unneeded, the dog will proceed to biting at some stage - they can only use the communication tools they have available to them.

If the dog was demonstrating guarding behaviour, then that needs to be addressed. You should contact a behaviourist; preferably one who is ABPT registered.

Again, I would reiterate that dogs and children should never be left alone together. It only takes a split second for a tragedy to happen.

Lucyintheskywithdiazepam · 22/02/2011 16:49

unheeded

Fecking predictive iPhone bollocks.

mad4mainecoons · 22/02/2011 16:49

have you had a good look over your dog and made sure there is nothing wrong?

cockers are prone to ear troubles and a gentle pull or misplaced stroke by your nephew could have hurt him and caused the incident?

other than that ring your vet and ask if there is a nurse or vet with some behaviour qualifications you could chat it over with or a behaviourist you could reccomend. he could well be protecting the baby but how you would solve this and move forward needs a someone with experience to guide you.

cockers are sensitive dogs and he will be picking up on emotions in the house, and lets face it hormonal emotions are a bit bonkers after a new baby maybe a DAP diffuser would help him chill a little about the whole situation.

hope it all settles soon for you.

DooinMeCleanin · 22/02/2011 16:50

You need to see a behaviourist asap.

Was your nephew near the baby? I had a dog who would snarl at anyone she didn't know well who went near dd1 when she newborn.

Original poster

babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 17:20

Lucyinthesky - we were all in the living room together, my dog was just laying quite near to my nephew... I wasn't watching them every second because it just isn't something that would have entered my head to happen.

OP posts:

weefriend · 22/02/2011 17:30

I really don't think this is something you can ignore. First stop is to take the dog to the vet and get him checked over. Always the first stop with unusual behaviour from an animal. Just to rule out any physical problems. Your vet can then refer you to a behaviour counselor, preferably a member of the APBC who should hopefully be able to give some strategies to help prevent this from happening again, or escalating into something worse. My guess would be that this has to do with the new baby, but a behaviour counsellor will go through a thorough history with you to get to the bottom of it and come up with a plan.

fordogsake110 · 22/02/2011 17:49

this is in the wrong place nice mum with 5 year old cocker spaniola, put it in the dogs stuff area where all the luverly doggsy peeps are

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 17:51

goodness i think OP has had great advice already. don't see any need to repost

scruffybird · 22/02/2011 17:51

My old cocker spaniel used to give a warning growl to children she didn't know if they got to close to her in our house, so I had to make sure she was out of the way if we had children round.
You will just have to make sure when your nephew comes round, the dog is out of the way, just to be on the safe side.

squeakytoy · 22/02/2011 17:55

I would say the dog was most likely protecting the baby, and I would also say, because you didnt actually see the event, there is a good possibility that the child could have poked the dog, stood on his foot, or pulled his tail..or even just startled him.

MIL has a cocker spaniel though and they are very territorial.. he really is the perfect example of bark being worse than his bite. He has never ever bitten anyone or anything but has growled once or twice, and yaps incessantly if he isnt the centre of attention. Having said that, he is fine with 2yr old grandson, and 5 yr old granddaughter, he just wants to join in with the games.

janiesmum · 22/02/2011 17:55

he was just protecting the baby

SunshineisSorry · 22/02/2011 18:06

Thing is, you don't know because you wasnt there?

I don't think the dog was protecting the baby, he was feeling threatened and defended himself. There is usually a reason for it, whether or not the child hurt the dog, got in the dogs face etc. Never leave a child alone with a dog, especially not a member of immediate family, its a recipe for disaster.

Cockers can actually be quite tempremental - daft question but what colour is he?

I wouldn't do anything differently, dog has time to get used to baby slowly - don't push dog away due to baby, but make sure he knows ground rules, no licking of faces for a start. Lots of attention for dog when you don't have baby etc, attention when he doesn't seek it around baby.

Someone suggested a behaviourist - good idea but do tread carefully and go by recommendation as anyone can set themselves up as a dog behaviourist, most are knowledgable and genuine but theres always one who wont be.

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 18:09

OP was there sunshine.

SunshineisSorry · 22/02/2011 18:09

Oh Sorry, i see that you have posted that you were in the room. Apologies.

I just think watch him around other children for a bit, there has been a major change in his life so he is bound to be a bit out of sorts. Hate to say this, but children usually get told off by dogs for a reason.

SunshineisSorry · 22/02/2011 18:10

cross posts boofucking :) reminds self to read thread before posting!

Original poster

babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 18:12

Booyfuckinghoo I didn't repost?

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 18:12

i just had a thought after i posted that, that you may have eben talking to all teh otehr posters who were saying teh dog was protecting the baby, i was ready for looking a right muppet!!

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