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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sorry - This one is also about a dog - mine!

45 replies

babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 16:25

I have a cocker spaniel who is 5 years old. He is a really lovely dog, if a bit crazy. He has always been impossible to walk on the lead and pulls like crazy despite many dog school graduation certificates!!

I've recently had a baby, and after a few tentative days he absolutely loves him. Tries to lick his face - a lot! (tries!) and sleeps under his Moses basket / cot - wherever he is basically.

My nephew was here with my S and BIL to see the baby and my dog sort of went for him.

I honestly didn't see exactly what happened as it was so quick, but my nephew said he wasn't doing anything and my dog just 'went' for him.

There was no bite or anything, but I did hear him snarl which is very unlike him... My nephew (7) was absolutely fine, but a bit shaken up.

Understandably, my S and BIL were concerned and started telling me that my dog couldn't be trusted and will go for my baby.

He has never, ever, done anything like this before. The reason he was just in the room laying on the floor is because the kids usually love playing with him.

AIBU to forget this happened or do you think this is a sign of a bigger problem?

I really really love my dog... Until we had DS he was our baby.

OP posts:
babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 18:13

Oh I see! Sorry - thought you meant I'd accidentally made this thread twice!

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 18:14

no bella i was talking to fordogs sake who suggested you post it in teh doghouse section. i was just saying that i didn't think there was a need as you have ahd great advice on thsi thread.

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 18:14

Xpost. Smile

Arion · 22/02/2011 18:16

My parents had the softest Irish setter going, he barked at a little old lady so ferociously that she ended up in the middle of the road. He was tied up outside the post office next to my pram (30 odd years ago), she wanted to stroke him but he thought I was at risk. Dogs can be very protective of their pack members.

d0gFace · 22/02/2011 18:21

Sounds like hes protecting your family, he shouldnt be left unsupervised.

midori1999 · 22/02/2011 19:38

The dog didn't bite, had it meant to, it would have done, no question.

I think it is wrong for anyone to try and ascertain what happened over the internet and without seeing the dog at home. I think you need to look for a good and qualified behaviourist (one that doesn't believe in or mention pack theory!). Vets may be a good place to ask, or try the Association of Pet Behaviour Counsellors.

For the time being, it's obviously wise to exercise caution with the dog and the baby/other people, but I wouldn't have a mad panic. Babies can be unsettling for dogs, even if they seem to be coping well. Most haven't seen many babies before and a new baby in the house almost always means lots of changes for the dog.

arkboy · 22/02/2011 19:43

Not sure how many posters have a dog, but as a border terrier owner with a few issues, I would suggest that the nephew's story wasn't exactly "nothing". Oddly I am on the side of the cocker. Very nice dogs and not one to lash out. Common sense, observation and consideration to both dog's needs and child's needs should suffice.

Choufleur · 22/02/2011 19:48

You will never know what happened but you shouldn't leave the dog and children alone together - even for only a few minutes. DS is never left with our springer alone. If I go upstairs the dog is put in the kitchen away from DS.

Punkatheart · 22/02/2011 20:01

I have had cockers. I don't want to worry you but they are the dog at the top of the 'might go crazy' list. It is a result of overbreeding. Our blue roan would not let two people stroke him - he would bite the second person. He would also growl at us if we went in my mother's bedroom. He bit every famous member except my mother, who he worshipped.

Please keep an eye on your dog. They are capable of turning quite quickly. They look so cute too and that's part of the problem...

Punkatheart · 22/02/2011 20:01

Ha - I meant family member - not famous!

Choufleur · 22/02/2011 20:04

I think solid colour cockers are the ones more prone to madness than two colour versions.

Punkatheart · 22/02/2011 20:08

Mine was blue roan (black and white) and mad as a fruitcake.

Vallhala · 22/02/2011 20:12

"it is a sign of a bigger problem i'm afraid. if you can't bear to do "the deed".... " Hmm

'Do the deed'? Angry

And your qualifications for this remark are what exactly, SmashingNarcissistsMirrors?

OP, aside from that crass comment, you've been given some very sound advice by the knowledgable posters here. A qualified, recommended behaviouralist is the way forward, supervision and common sense should be watchwords anyway and, as has been said, I wouldn't entirely rule out the possibility that the nephew did something to hurt or alarm your dog. Seven years of age is just about right to be in a position to know not to do something but to do it anyway, hence a hasty denial. Wink

Ingles2 · 22/02/2011 20:16

I've got a solid gold cocker and she would never ever and has never snapped at a child. She is very protective of us and our home though
Knowing plenty of other cockers, this is just not behaviour they usually demonstrate (far too stupid) so I think, 'nothing' is probably something. That said, I would still have a check up and speak to behaviourist.
Choufleur mentioned madness in solid cockers... usually gold. This is called avalanche of rage and is very very rare according to my vet.
It also affects other solid gold dogs, retrievers, labs, etc as it's a genetic problem, I am 100 % sure you're dog doesn't have this as you would know about it very early on.

RIZZ0 · 22/02/2011 20:19

Was about to say the same Val.

The bloody deed...

I'd just keep an extra eye out for the next few weeks whilst everyone is settling in, personally. It sounds like whatever motivated it, it was a warning, not an attack.

northerngirl41 · 22/02/2011 20:38

I'm pretty sure the dog was just protecting the baby or there's something the nephew did... Dogs tend not to act without reason, it's just that sometimes we don't know what those reasons are.

I had a dog-baby-sitter too - she loved me as a baby and would howl if anyone came near my pram, and if they weren't scared by an enormous hound howling at them then she'd happily sink her teeth into them if they tried to come near me. It's not necessarily a bad thing. My mum left me grumping at the bottom of the garden whenever I cried too much and she always knew I was perfectly safe.

Don't be afraid of the dog behaviouralists - they do magical stuff. We had a dog who was driving everyone loopy. He peed everywhere, bit people randomly, attacked other dogs, chewed various people's belongings, barked incessantly.... He was, I'm afraid, about a hair's breadth from being put down. Behaviouralist gave us a couple of tricks. Bear in mind, I've had dogs all my life and never had any problems with them. But this dog transformed literally within a couple of weeks, and we never had any more problems with him.

babybellasmummy · 22/02/2011 20:58

Thanks everyone for your great advice.

It did cross my mind that my nephew may have done something... I want to give him the benefit of the doubt though because getting into that would just end up being a war of words with my s and BIL.

I'll definitely take him to a behaviourist... That sounds like the best idea. I'm in Worcester park if anyone can recommend one.

He really is so sweet. Just now he's laying under DS's Moses basket with his head on a stuffed cat! Someone said if he wanted to bite him he would have, and strange as it probably must sound that does make me a bit relieved.

And... I would never 'do the deed'. He's a part of our family!

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 22/02/2011 21:36

He sounds a honeypie. I loved my cocker to bits and he lived to a ripe old age. A behaviourist would put your mind at ease. I do know someone but I am in Reading - so it might be too far away. She does Ttouch therapy which is very gentle...

BooyFuckingHoo · 22/02/2011 21:44

"she'd happily sink her teeth into them if they tried to come near me. It's not necessarily a bad thing. "

yes it is a bad thing. what a stupid comment. dogs should not be used as babysitters. that is the parents' job. if you leave your dog guarding a pram and it bites someone, that person can ask to have your dog put to sleep!!

HelenBaaBaaBlackSheep · 22/02/2011 22:03

Hope it works out ok, sounds like he was protecting your/his family and given that you say Until we had DS he was our baby the sudden change may have unsettled him so a behavioursit will help with that too.

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