It's me or the dog ...

[BigMommaJo72]

I'm a bit of a lurker, and this is my first post, but I need some advice on this.

I've been seeing my DP for 5 months, and everything seems to be going well in all areas. However, he has a very badly behaved Weimaraner, and although I like dogs (I have a choccy lab at home) this dog drives me nuts and he won't hear a word against it.

Today, the dog was jumping up at me and I pushed him down, at which point he promptly bit me very hard on the wrist. My DP didn't see this happen, and when I told him, he simply shrugged, even when I showed him the bite marks.

Am I being unreasonable in at least expecting sympathy, and putting me first before the dog. If my lab did this,I would be mortified. I'm seriously considering finishing what is otherwise a great relationship as I just can't cope with this animal.

No offense taken northerngirl41. Agree to the comment, "They do have a certain... um, stubbornness?" . Weims are delightful but you HAVE to be very firm with them. Sophie took a lot of training to be the best dog in the world (unchallenged title).

If I were in OP's situation, I would not be best pleased with anyone who just poohpoohed a dog bite. I also think sharing the bed with the Weim and DP is a bit too much. Weims have a habit of staring in a very pointed fashion which would make 'sexy time' rather awkward...you know..judging looks?

Sorry to be silly as really not a nice situation to be in, OP.

YANBU but if he won't listen perhaps jump up and bite him on the wrist. too many twunts have dogs that they cant be arsed to train.

You're not being unreasonable, your partner is. DP and I each brought a dog to our relationship, mine strictly treated like a dog, his like a human child, slept in his bed with its head on the pillow, ate off his plate, owned every chair in the house, and firmly believed it was the alpha male....

Things are very different for his dog now - no dogs on the bed, rarely allowed on the sofa (and his dog does get a bit above himself after a couple of times being let up there!) and only fed in their bowls.
DP still likes to treat his dog like a baby most of the time, but the boundaries for both dogs are clearly set, and more importantly, DP would be deeply concerned if his dog harmed me or my kids.

It's bad enough that he doesn't care about his dog harming you - if it does that to a child outside, he'll find himself being responsible for his precious pooch being put down.

Letting a dog sleep on a bed is not treating it like a human, it is letting the dog sleep on the bed. That is all.

Maybe the dog is poorly trained, but it also sounds like the OP isn't that well versed in how to deal with a dog that jumps up, tbh. Even my very well trained dogs get tmepted to jump up when humans display certain behaviours or react to them in a certain way. (Usually by waving their hands in the air saying repeatedly 'no, no, sit, sit, down, no' when the dog was sitting in the first bloody place, just being pleased to see them but with bottoms firmly on the ground! ) One thing is for sure, had the dog meant to bite and do damage, it would have done.

I do think a vet visit is in order, and then why not suggest to your partner that you both attend training classes together with your dogs? That way you can spend time together and both dogs and owners will become better behaved into the bargain.

Oh, and some people like their dogs sleeping on their bed. I don't always fancy it (they ar ebig and steal all the duvet!) but if I do then they sleep on the bed. If DH doesn't like it he can always get on the sofa.

A dog that bites in those circumstances sounds dangerous!
Plenty of knowledgeable people on here have already explained that the dog may have taken this as a threat. On the other hand, if you did this to my younger dog she might well think "ooh yes, you do want to play, you're offering me an arm to play tug with!" Either way, you're going to get bitten through no fault of the dogs.

I would certainly push away a bloody great dog clambering up at me.
Well I certainly wouldn't for the reasons explained above - the dog is almost certain to misinterpret the action. Telling the dog to sit in a non-agressive friendly tone is likely to work much better.

I wonder if 8yo is too old to train a dog.
Our older dog is nearly 9 and still enjoys learning new things.

I would ask (insist) a partner that the dog sleep elsewhere, or else I would.
I would only do this if I genuinely wanted to be dumped.

Letting a dog sleep on a bed is not treating it like a human, it is letting the dog sleep on the bed. That is all.

Yay, midori, for some common sense!

I agree, midori, plenty of people like their dog on the bed, but some dogs (and I do mean some dogs) do read it as raising their status in the household and can become problematic because of it. It sounds as though the OP's partner is happy to give his dog a status above the OP, and I think that is a problem in a relationship. I think your idea of jointly attending training classes is certainly a good one.

I think it's pretty clear that the dog needs training, considering you mentioned he has a young daughter? What would happen if the dog jumped up on her? It would cause considerably more damage to a little girl than an adult!

It's long been a stereotype that women meet a man and then make both parties miserable by trying to change him into a different man. I don't think he sounds very responsible but I don't think you can do a lot about that. You're gonna end up chucking him sooner or later so you might as well not make it hard for yourself by trying to make him into someone else first.

He likes the dog more than he likes you, that is OK, it's his choice.

Just move on.

It is certainly a problem but after 5 months, it doesn't have to be your problem.

Tattiemum, I disagree, I don'tt hinbk dogs give a second thought to what their status in the household is and dominance theory is disproven.

I do think that some dogs think the bed or sofa is such a nice place to sleep and they have no such lovely alternative of their own that they get grumpy when asked to get off them and I also think that some dogs don't have clear boundaries set about what behaviour is and isn't acceptable and that can cause problems. It has nothing to do with status or pecking order though.