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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's me or the dog ...

64 replies

BigMommaJo72 · 21/02/2011 19:41

I'm a bit of a lurker, and this is my first post, but I need some advice on this.

I've been seeing my DP for 5 months, and everything seems to be going well in all areas. However, he has a very badly behaved Weimaraner, and although I like dogs (I have a choccy lab at home) this dog drives me nuts and he won't hear a word against it.

Today, the dog was jumping up at me and I pushed him down, at which point he promptly bit me very hard on the wrist. My DP didn't see this happen, and when I told him, he simply shrugged, even when I showed him the bite marks.

Am I being unreasonable in at least expecting sympathy, and putting me first before the dog. If my lab did this,I would be mortified. I'm seriously considering finishing what is otherwise a great relationship as I just can't cope with this animal.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 21/02/2011 20:48

Oh rollocks! I meant "You pushed the dog down and now wonder why you are in this predicament?"

LaWeasel · 21/02/2011 20:49

I'm shouting because I really don't want someone who could get good sensible advice put off by a load of people piling on at her that she is being awful to want him to give up his pet after 5mths when she has not said this. Which 5 people have said so far.

Besides, why can't you read her posts as well as the title, it wasn't all that long!

In customise you can play with the settings and highlight OPs posts.

Ragwort · 21/02/2011 20:49

I can't imagine wanting to get in bed with a man who sleeps with a great big dog ................ I'm amazed you put up with this for 5 months. Get rid of him (and his dog) Grin.

Vallhala · 21/02/2011 20:51

PPS As a Lab owner you should also be alert to the possibility of hip dyspasia, which Weims are known for just as much, especially as they get older. I'd suggest that your boyfriend has his dog checked out by the vet as this could be the reason he reacted so badly to being pushed down by you.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 20:52

i ahve it customised lawaesel. and i read teh OP. perhaps OP should let peopel know which parts she would like us to ignore- title or OP? might stop people getting teh wronmg end of the stick!

Vallhala · 21/02/2011 20:54

Booy, I was about to apologise for mis-typing dysplasia...then I saw your typing! :o

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 20:55

val, i have given up apologising. i try, i really do but my fingers just wont oblige!! Grin

LaWeasel · 21/02/2011 20:56

I have hands up to coming on thread to go "WHAT?!?!"

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/02/2011 21:01

PMSL @ sexytime Grin

I think if someone has a big breed like a Weimaraner they have a responsibility to make sure it is well trained. This dog sounds like it isnt. Its jumping up and biting. Its 8, he has had 8 years to train it and he hasnt bothered.

It sleeps on the bed. That doesnt help.

I love dogs and have two but I think letting them sleep on the bed is asking for trouble. I admit you can get away with it with some dogs. But IME it encourages bad behaviour.

One of my dogs gets right cocky if he is allowed on any furniture, let alone my bed.

You DP sounds like a bit of a twit. I would be bloody mortified if my dog bit someone and I wouldnt shrug it off.

But you cant ask him to choose.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/02/2011 21:03

I didnt know that LeW how exciting. Would make reading threads so much easier.

Original poster
BigMommaJo72 · 21/02/2011 21:10

Well I'm sorry but I couldn't think of a snappier title! Confused I'd never want to get rid of my dog so I understand completely, but like I said before I'd be absolutely horrified and humiliated if she ever bit him so I was more than a tad concerned (1. about his reaction 2. that I was bitten).
Thanks Valhalla for the advice on dysplasia, I'll be sure to let him know.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigMommaJo72 · 21/02/2011 21:12

and thefirstMrsDeVere I agree completely!

OP posts:
northerngirl41 · 21/02/2011 21:24

Oh yes Vallhala - definitely no sympathy here if you get bitten. There's also no sympathy if you leave something lying around which she destroys...

(How DH and kids put up with it I don't know, but I think they secretly suspect that my ability to put up with her means I won't chuck any of them out, so they endure! Plus she's so little and cute and furry - this is why she is so badly behaved!)

drfayray · 21/02/2011 21:34

I have a much loved Weimaraner (and therefore take agin the post dissing them...Wink)who is 8 years old. She is well behaved (lots of training) but she is a dog. So if people are rough with her or hurt her, she will snap. I think by pushing down on your DP's dog, you caused the biting. However, that does not make it right...

Weims like to sleep on the bed taking as much space as they can. Mine is not allowed. They also love to be as close as possible to their owner (my darling is sleeping under my desk, head resting on my feet as I type this) and Weim owners get this.

Good luck with whatever you do.

northerngirl41 · 21/02/2011 22:22

No offense meant drfayray but you must admit they are not the easiest of animals to train? They do have a certain... um, stubbornness? I am guessing you are a very good dog owner to get yours to behave and must also give her lots and lots of exercise.

It doesn't sound like the OP's partner has done that, so she's pretty much stuck with it.

I also suspect that smaller animals get away with a lot more since everyone laughs at their antics and they don't cause so much havoc. Whereas with a big dog you almost have to train is well because they can cause serious damage. The latest casualty of my aunt's Weimaraner was the next door neighbours bunny rabbit. She squished it with her paw whilst trying to play Sad. My latest sacrifice to cat worship was a mobile phone charger which got chewed because DH kicked her out of bed (yes she's sleeps on our bed Blush).

PonceyMcPonce · 21/02/2011 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 22:43

poncey to a dog that hasn't ben trained, jumping up is just saying "hello, talk to me, play with me" it isn't an agressive act on tehir part. so for someone to apply force to them for doing it is seen as threatening. a dog will defend itself against a threat.

Beamur · 21/02/2011 22:43

No way would my dog ever be allowed to sleep on the bed, she is not allowed upstairs at all.

She only gets allowed in the lounge on rare occasions....(I am mean)
Partly because she is smelly (she is bathed/groomed on a regular basis but then will actively seek out something stinky and roll in it) and also because she is a relentlessly arsey dog and we do have to be really consistent with her about boundaries.
I would ask (insist) a partner that the dog sleep elsewhere, or else I would.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/02/2011 22:43

Forget the dog and what it did. it's a dog, it behaved like a dog that has not been trained.

The problem is the man - I would not be with someone who did not care that his dog bit someone.

PonceyMcPonce · 21/02/2011 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 22:53

as val explained, this breed is prone to hip dysplasia so teh OP pushing it may have caused pain. an animal in pain will also bite at what it perceives to be the cause of the pain (so OP)

PonceyMcPonce · 21/02/2011 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 22:56

who is treating the dog as a human? me? Confused

PonceyMcPonce · 21/02/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 23:03

ah right yes, see what you mean. mine does get on the bed occasionally but he actually prefers the floor.