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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a photographer at dd 1st birthday?

37 replies

Lizbertnobacon · 21/02/2011 16:40

I suppose it is more of an aib pfb rather than Aibu but thought I would get honest answers here!

Dd is 1 in 3 months. We are having a little party and the lady who runs our baby music/singing type class is going to come for an hour and play games with them etc. Only about 10 babies coming and it's going to be a joint party with a friends baby. Don't intend on having any fancy theme or going overboard with decs etc.

When dd was born we signed up to photography package where we have photos of her at newborn, 6 months then 1 year. We were trying to think where to have her 1 year photos taken (because we wanted each of the sets of photos to look quite different) and I thought seeing as photographer is coming to the house at some point anyway it might be fun to take photos at the party where dd will hopefully be having lots of fun.

The photographer is very relaxed and wouldn't be intrusive, she takes only unposed natural pictures so
it wouldn't be a 'say cheese!' type thing.

I'm just a bit concerned the other parents will think we are pretentious idiots. Aibu to get the photographer to come to the party or should I just get her to come another time? Thanks!

OP posts:
wannaBe · 21/02/2011 16:42

I think the whole thing sound ott, tbh. They're babies. They're not of an age for party games yet.

squeakytoy · 21/02/2011 16:46

I am sure the photographer will be happy to come as it will be a great opportunity for her to hand a few business cards out Wink

So in that respect, the other parents may feel they are being pressured into some sort of obligation to buy photos of the event too..

Original poster
Lizbertnobacon · 21/02/2011 16:47

Not games really, more like the sensory play stuff with instruments and singing and things that you would do in a baby class. She really enjoys the class which is why we thought of it really. Sorry, games probably wasn't the right word. There won't be pin the tail on the donkey or anything like that Grin

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 21/02/2011 16:48

"Only about 10 babies..." Shock

The noise! The nappies! The competitive parenting! The horror!

MordechaiVanunu · 21/02/2011 16:49

I think it sounds fine. Exaplin it to your friends like you have here, that you've signed up for a package etc and so are using it on her birthday.

it'll be a a lovely record.

I made a big deal of Dc1's first birthday, less of a fuss for the others, but hell life can be hard and miseralle at times, so celebrate while you can and don't be put off by the many po faced misery responses about how '1 fairy cake with one candle and a round of happy birthday from parents only' is the only acceptable way to celebate for a baby's birthday.

Enjoy.

CamperFan · 21/02/2011 16:51

It is lovely to have photos of your DC, but I would be too embarrassed to do this. That said, my DH takes amazing pics so it would never cross my mind. I do also agree with the other poster that the party sounds a bit OTT for babies, and with a photographer too, it might tip it over into the "pretentious" category you are worried about!

Plus, do you really want other people's babies getting in the shots? Wink

MumInBeds · 21/02/2011 16:51

Sounds lovely. :) Do mention it to your friends in advance though so they know it is part of the package.

eddiemccready · 21/02/2011 16:53

Sounds lovely. I always did something special for the first birthdays. I wouldnt really give two hoots what anyone else thinks, go for it.

LaWeasel · 21/02/2011 17:01

I'm not sure... perhaps it is only the babies I know but they all screamed or napped through their first parties so you might not get much use of your photographer!

Northernlurker · 21/02/2011 17:03

You'll get away with it if you mention the package first so your guests know you are not in fact totally crackers BUT I wouldn't do it. You'll get better pictures another time when your dd isn't over excited etc.

Sassybeast · 21/02/2011 17:09

I think it's fine. We had a completely OTT 1st party for our PFB Grin Assuming that the photographer is happy to take pics of other kids as part of the deal though ?

Original poster
Lizbertnobacon · 21/02/2011 17:11

Thanks everyone. I think I'll do what a few of you have suggested and explain the package before hand so they don't think I have arranged it especially for the party.

I know it is probably a bit ott to have a party but we are not getting her christened so I wanted to have a special day for her while she is in 'babyhood' iykwim Blush

OP posts:
Firawla · 21/02/2011 17:11

you never know some parents may have a weird reaction to it but personally i would find it nice so just depends on the personalities of the people you are having to the party i guess? mention it to them beforehand if you are worried about it? but i think it would be fine, and nice to get some good pics of her birthday. i know they are too young to understand about birthdays @ 1 yr but its also an occasion for the parents so why not celebrate. your party sounds nice with the singing lady etc

MordechaiVanunu · 21/02/2011 17:16

I think pfb behaviour that involves totally overindulging yourselves in the whole new experience of parenthood in a joyful way, is rather lovely, and I remember that time and the excitement of every 'first' well.

Pfb behaviour which demands that others bow and jump to your every demand 'cos you've had a baby' and whihc is used to allow new parents to be totally selfish and thoughtless, is not attractive or acceptable.

OP this definitely falls into the overindulgent but lovely category. REally, just enjy this time.

PicaK · 21/02/2011 17:18

Life is short. Go for it.

breatheslowly · 21/02/2011 19:39

At first I thought it sounded a bit weird, but your explanation makes it sound perfectly reasonable. If my baby was at the party then I would hope that the photographer might take a couple of decent shots of her which I could then buy as a whole photo shoot is really expensive.

cocoachannel · 21/02/2011 19:47

Sounds lovely- go for it!

worraliberty · 21/02/2011 19:51

I think it's quite normal to want the photographer but are there really such things as baby/music singing classes?

I'm feeling really quite old and out of the loop here. We used to bung a record on and clap along at home Grin

zukiecat · 21/02/2011 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bucharest · 21/02/2011 19:56

Sounds like Dante's 7th circle to me. For many reasons.

The photographer being probably the least of them, so yes, go for it.

And may the force be with you.

nulgirl · 21/02/2011 19:57

Nice idea. A friend of mine had a photographer at her ds's 1st birthday party. He was a pro - Tracey emin's boyfriend no less - but he was there cos he is an old family friend. He took some lovely really natural photos in the garden but also took some posed outdoor snaps of parents with their children if they wanted. We got them on a cd afterwards and they are really lovely especially as he used a very flattering filter which made us all look glowing and dewy rather than haggard and sleep deprived.

Check with the other parents but I'm sure they will be happy with the idea

BlackType · 21/02/2011 19:58

I have a horror of parties for one-year-olds, and would feel positively queasy at the idea of a baby sensory class thing - but you sound otherwise perfectly sane, so the photography thing probably can't harm. As others have said, though, I'd warn other guests in advance.

Baggypussy · 21/02/2011 19:58

Can I come? Souds like a lovely idea- and I'm sure a few of the other parents may like the opportunity to buy a couple too if the chance is there.

mrsgetonwithit · 21/02/2011 20:03

Great idea.........

As a former wedding tog who adores taking photos I shall say just this....

'' you never regret the photos you do take, only the ones you did'nt!

ButterflySally · 21/02/2011 20:05

When I read the first line of your post, I did think it was OTT and pretentious to have a photographer at the party. However, when you explained further, particularly about the photography package, it then seemed entirely reasonable and actually a very good idea.

So..I think it's a perfect opportunity to use your photography package. Like others have said, if you are worried about what others think, I would just explain the package to them like you did here.

Hope your DD has a happy 1st birthday!

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