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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being female isn't an insult

52 replies

poxoxo · 21/02/2011 14:27

I was with my brother and sister yesterday and my brother was complaining about a gash he got on his arm from football. My sister then said oh don't be such a girl. AIBU to hate the way that being female is sometimes used an insult

OP posts:
Prolesworth · 21/02/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

worraliberty · 21/02/2011 14:29

Doesn't bother me. I call my Husband a girl when we're joking about.

BringOnTheGoat · 21/02/2011 14:31

YANBU - heard some kids at the park saying 'ugh you're so gay' in the same way!

bigbeagleeyes · 21/02/2011 14:31

Dunno, my female friends say that to me because I'm such a wus. It's just banter.
I'm female btw.

charitygirl · 21/02/2011 14:33

Of course YANBU.

If it doesn't both you, you're choosing not to think about it too hard.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 21/02/2011 14:33

YANBU - calling a man an 'old woman' for being a fusspot etc winds me up big time. Call them an OLD MAN if you must (probably ageist too though) - calling a male person a girl/woman as an insult is sexist & pisses me off.

scurryfunge · 21/02/2011 14:34

Would you allow racist banter bigleaves and worra? If banter is about putting down a particular group, then it can't be too healthy for anyone.

AppleyEverAfter · 21/02/2011 14:34

I told a colleague off for a Facebook comment in which he said something similar, using 'girl' as a derogatory term. I called him a big fat sexist. To me, it's like calling someone 'gay', not an insult just very demeaning. I think it's worse coming from a man because women are only joking if they say it.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 14:34

yanbu.

similarly i hate the phrase "man up". as if being anything other than a man isn't good enough.

lospolloshermanos · 21/02/2011 14:39

the phrase of choice where I'm from is

'get that lad a fresh tampon!'

eurgh, tbh amongst mates,. bf we have sexist banter but not to someone else,

tundra · 21/02/2011 14:47

YANBU

popelle · 21/02/2011 14:59

YANBU but some people think racism/sexism/homophobia is ok provided it is disguised as banter. My sister told my brother to get his boyfriend to use more lube the other day (he's not gay). I said it was homophobic and she said she was just messing.

breatheslowly · 21/02/2011 15:52

I think people say "girl" to mean young as well as female in this context. It still isn't nice, but it isn't just about being female.

iwerta · 21/02/2011 16:54

YABU don't take everything so seriously.

vj32 · 21/02/2011 17:21

I would have no problem with the 'don't be such a girl' comments. Yes it is sexist and stereotyping, but on the other hand we have very nearly achieved sexual equality in this country and if anyone was being intentionally sexist I think loads of people would be there to help and to tell that person what an idiot they were being.

Unfortunately gay people don't have equality (although moving towards) and it is still acceptable in some communities to be incredibly racist and homophobic. (eg football matches. It is now unacceptable to be racist but still OK to chant homophobic things at players.) So I think they are unacceptable.

I think it is not necessarily always as clear cut as we like to think if something is discriminatory but where a minority group are still experiencing serious discrimination, abuse and violence then we sometimes need to be a bit OTT.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/02/2011 17:38

Can I still say 'big girl's blouse'? The blouse is the insult rather than the big girl

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 17:41

It's symptomatic of everything male being strong and right and everything female being the opposite.

"vj32 Mon 21-Feb-11 17:21:35
I would have no problem with the 'don't be such a girl' comments. Yes it is sexist and stereotyping, but on the other hand we have very nearly achieved sexual equality in this country and if anyone was being intentionally sexist I think loads of people would be there to help and to tell that person what an idiot they were being. "

Erm, paygap, violence against women, religious oppression, objectification, sexualisation of young girls? these are reasons feminism is still alive and kicking.

scurryfunge · 21/02/2011 17:52

Yes, did snort at vj32's comment about achieving equality (and it's not often I agree with Posie Grin.

There is a very very long way to go.

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 17:57

But I'm so quiet and inoffensiveShock.

scurryfunge · 21/02/2011 18:00
Grin
NoSuchThingAsSociety · 21/02/2011 18:03

YABU - life is too short.

flippinpeedoff · 21/02/2011 18:06

I have been known to call a whining male a big girl's blouse.

SardineQueen · 21/02/2011 18:24

Sorry to pick on your post as well VJ but had to laugh at

"Unfortunately gay people don't have equality (although moving towards) and it is still acceptable in some communities to be incredibly racist and homophobic. (eg football matches. It is now unacceptable to be racist but still OK to chant homophobic things at players.) "

Do football players never get called girly etc when they mess it up?

If players are experiencing racist comments, then obviously that is very wrong. However is it possible that the female players aren't getting abuse based on their gender because there aren't any there???

And hold on, didn't some football pundits just get sacked for sexism???

Confused
TeacupTempest · 21/02/2011 18:47

YANBU

Growing up my brothers and dad would often refer to me as "woman" as an insult.

DO this Woman

Shut up woman

Stupid woman

Makes me what to scream

HeathcliffMoorland · 21/02/2011 18:58

I definitely agree that being female is not an insult.

However, if an adult is being childish, I don't see the problem with telling them to stop being a little boy/ little girl.

Sometimes, it adds to the humour if the insult-giver refers to the incorrect gender, regardless of which gender it is.

And before I am flamed, I am in no way scathing of those with gender issues. Neither do I believe that gender roles need to be adhered to religiously.