mn is a public website. We do not sign up to terms and conditions that say threads may not be discussed outside of mn, on twitter etc...

[wannaBe]

yep, thread about a thread... big deal.

so - thread started on mn. Another poster tweeted about said thread, came back to the thread and said she'd tweeted about it.

Subsequently posters called for her to be banned for tweeting about a sensitive thread, followed by lots of other nasty name-calling.

Thing is, the thread was public anyway. You don't have to be logged into mn to view it. You don't have to have a button next to each post to tweet about it - all you'd have to do is copy/paste the link into twitter. Once you put your private business on a public website you lose control over what happens to it/who talks about it/tweets about it/potentially writes about it in the press.

To suggest that a poster should be banned for talking about a thread that is on a public website, on another public website is ridiculous.

Mn has hundreds of thousands of hits a day. People are very naive if they think that their private, sensitive business is limited to the few people that post on the threads in question.

And people do discuss mn on twitter. Both in terms of threads/the potential genuineness of posters/the outcomes of threads. It's just that they don't come back on to mn to talk about having done so.

The fact that randomers would have to join would put off those that are just here for a nose. But people coming in for a nose are potential members.

But what is mn for if it is not for that Morloth? And I know that the internet is public, but there is a hlee of a lot of difference between a site that is public just by virtue of the nature of the internet, and one that is public because it activily invites spillout onto Twitter and Facebook and into the press/TV. A couple of years ago, precisely this kind of support on sensitive matters was the essence of 'by parents for parents'

hlee = hell

(though hlee would be nicer)

You can, if you want, but it is really bloody stupid to think even for a second that it will not be available everywhere, you cannot trust people on Mumsnet anymore than you can trust people on crazymurderersrus.com.

You just can't. It doesn't matter whether you should be able to or not, you can't.

If you want advice, change details, fudge the edges and don't take the responses too deeply to heart because there is every chance that some of the responders are people who get off on deliberately hurting people. If you can't handle that then for God's sake don't post this stuff on the internet.

We can talk about how things should be as much as you like, but that is not the reality.

I think that MNHQ could get rid of a lot of the 'troubles' by deleting 'Am I Being Unreasonable?'... it's a heavily populated venue and it's clear from some of the threads that it's just being used as the fastest way to chat on things that spark controversy and debate.

... I'd get more done if AIBU was zapped, that's for sure!

I agree with Leningrad.

I am getting more and more pissed off at the amount of decent, funny and thoughtful posters leaving the site at the moment.

And tbh, I am annoyed not just as the posters who are causing them to make that decision, but also at everyone who stands back and does not comment when a nasty comment is made.

At those who call troll if a thread is slightly unusual.

Well that's subjective really. There are some posters I like who seem to be quite unpopular as well as some of the more 'pleasing' ones. There are other posters (not all) who have a bit of following and quite honestly I can't see what the fuss is about. So 'decent, funny and thoughtful' may scoop up some of the ones who I think are nothing of the sort.

I don't really understand why people lament for posters gone of their own volition... if they want to go, they will, in spite of obviously having people here who care for them.

As for not commenting when a 'nasty' comment is made; again that's subjective. From what I've seen here, when it really is a nasty comment, the offender is jumped on by many.

LyingWitch - I LOVE your nickname

Yes, I agree with Dittany that there are discrete issues here. The behaviour of some posters about a specific thread and the comments made on Twitter were just clearly wrong and I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone can defend it. That transcends issues about privacy, anonymity and Mumsnet "rules".

However, for me there is a further issue that is germane to this thread, which is that I think that MNHQ do have a duty of care to get off the fence and state its expectations of the membership.

Link to the thread in site stuff here

Justine has responded this morning, but there have been other responses since.

I can't understand how anybody thinks that they can police a social networking site? It's been tried and tested elsewhere to no effect. You might be able to make it more difficult but that could have the net effect of reducing membership/readership and there could be 'knock on' effects of that that would not be appreciated by MNHQ.

If people here keep their actual details private then the most others can glean is what is said on a post. The more details provided and the more unusual a situation is, the more likelihood there is of RL being affected. That's down to the responsibility and commonsense of the poster.

As for people posting outside the site, well is that really a surprise? Much as anybody might think it wrong, whether the 'buttons' were there or not, a 'juicy' post is going to get people talking and sharing and spreading 'gossip'. Again, if you keep your details private then the repercussions are avoided.

It comes down to this... you can't chance other people, only what you do. Anybody that doesn't understand that really ought not to post because they will forever be frustrated in their attempts to get people to bend to their will.

maryz, no

If she had just apologised for doing a shitty thing, all of this drama would have been avoided.

hey-ho

Drat... "change", not "chance"...

True, my favourite posters may not be your favourite posters. And many of those I have seen leave are not of the MN royalty sort. I am not weeping after them, but I do get annoyed that there is so much wailing about MN not being what it used to be. The only way to improve the general tone used on the board is to challenge nasty comments. On and off the board.

I don't think that MNHQ can so that. It has to come from us.

I was under the impression that it wasnt ALG who said about the sewn up fanjo??

Maryz you'll have a long wait, it'll be a cold day in hell, and most importantly ....read what I actually said, do not take Ss's quotes at face value. She took things out of context, she changed words, she applied references to herself where there were none.

The only person showing any error of judgement on that thread was SS herself....she didn't pick that name randomly!

Ive been Tweeting for ages and linking for just as long...the difference is, this time I came back to thread and told you.

I think the quote was along the lines of "I have the sealed up vagina brigade after me now" (ie. Porn objectors)

Sealed up. Not sewn up.

I didnt do a stupid thing though Maryz!

I stand by what I did and I'm not backtracking to appease a bunch of random strangers on a chat forum.