mn is a public website. We do not sign up to terms and conditions that say threads may not be discussed outside of mn, on twitter etc...

[wannaBe]

yep, thread about a thread... big deal.

so - thread started on mn. Another poster tweeted about said thread, came back to the thread and said she'd tweeted about it.

Subsequently posters called for her to be banned for tweeting about a sensitive thread, followed by lots of other nasty name-calling.

Thing is, the thread was public anyway. You don't have to be logged into mn to view it. You don't have to have a button next to each post to tweet about it - all you'd have to do is copy/paste the link into twitter. Once you put your private business on a public website you lose control over what happens to it/who talks about it/tweets about it/potentially writes about it in the press.

To suggest that a poster should be banned for talking about a thread that is on a public website, on another public website is ridiculous.

Mn has hundreds of thousands of hits a day. People are very naive if they think that their private, sensitive business is limited to the few people that post on the threads in question.

And people do discuss mn on twitter. Both in terms of threads/the potential genuineness of posters/the outcomes of threads. It's just that they don't come back on to mn to talk about having done so.

Nah, she didn't mean fags, surely. It won't do you any harm, it's only virtual, innit?

I don't believe I've had a spliff since I was 21!!

ahah sorry - so spliff smoking in my bar......sorry

I have a sweary name so no-one can quote me in the Daily Mail Baroque (like anyone is going to quote me ffs!)

Oooh spliffs, well if you insist

I know I'm abrupt, I say what I need to in 140 characters, I'm not fluffy in RL either, doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic though.

you should FB more often - you get 420 characters on there

ok - I'm offsky the thread now - sorry but I'm not good on threads where people are spliff smoking - even if it is only virtual pretend smoking of it. :-/

does no one remember the DM stuff? that's when the realisation that MN is public not our own Private Club dawned on me

To proclaim that stuff posted on MN stays on MN is naive whilst it remains a free site

Or you could always set up your own members-only board

Tbh, having read the whole (long) thread, I am a bit divided.

Firstly, I am of the mind that this is very public. I never post anything which I wouldn't be happy for anyone I know personally to read and know is me. I would dearly love to offload some difficulties I have, but won't because if people related to those difficulties were to read them, they would be offended and hurt. (sufficiently vague?)

Secondly, I really don't like the idea of people being talked about behind their backs (here or in RL), and in fact have left a private message board when I felt that this was being done. So I really think that regardless of my first point above, it isn't on.

Thirdly, I think that this just goes along with the other stuff of the past few weeks. People have their own agenda. They did with regards Riven's situation, they do with regards the Posting Name debate, they do here. It is a sad reflection of society that people now do whatever floats their boat, and don't give a flying fart what damage or upset it causes other people. Cheap thrills.

I am firmly of the mind that sites such as Facebook and Twitter are going to self-implode one day. They are useful in some circumstances, but in general, people can't help themselves from using them to spread gossip, lies and secrets which need never be shared.

To StupiditySquared - I didn't read the initial OP. But given the gist on here, it really isn't 'vanilla' 'unreasonable' or 'prudish' to be upset about porn. I hope that the mess you have found yourself in will be quickly resolved, and this thread quickly forgotten.

What dignity and composure you have displayed SS in the face of all this madness and even more hurtful comments today. In the absence of any response from MNHQ about this furore, I am trying to focus on the genuinely kind posters on Mumsnet and the force for good that they represent.

It's astonishing that no matter how many times that you, me and others have repeated that your grievances were not about privacy, but about decency and fairness, you have still had post after post about the insecurity of the internet - and very little about the real issue at stake.

I've read all the posts on this thread and the one in site stuff and it's as though a bizarre form of selective reading has taken hold. That must have been so frustrating, but you kept your calm throughout and just kept asking the same reasonable questions.

The wider issue about linking sensitive threads to those sites has been rumbling away in the background ever since the Spring when Mumsnet introduced those buttons, so some steer and a policy statement is long overdue.

However the really sad thing about these events is that bearing in mind it is a site used by adults, a heartfelt and sincere apology could have stopped this in its tracks. Instead, it has led to some of the most offensive terms being used about fellow women - and others either supporting a person's right to make those noxious statements, or refusing to condemn it. It's as though some posters have lost their ability to see right from wrong.

Astonishing.

I think you'll find the wider issue was rumbling around an awful lot longer than just the spring, it's been brought up on numerous other occasions about people posting to FB/Twitter/elsehwere for several years.

It really doesn't matter what the motivations are for people spreading stuff further. They are going to do it whether they should or not.

Mumsnet is not a small bunch of close friends giving each other advice and support as so many people seem to feel.

Even if all the posters on this thread agreed to never FB/Tweet something again, tomorrow there will be new people who will do so because there are just so many MNers and there should be no assumption about any of them having any morals whatsoever.

For all you know I could be a convicted child murderer in jail who has 'earned' internet time - you have no idea who is reading and once you post it, that's it, it is on the internet, visible to the whole world forever.

WWIFN - you are quite right, of course, the issue here is about consideration of fellow Mnetters. An issue which is compounded by cross-fertilisation on other sites.

Sadly, it has always been the case that some people like to poke fun at others and seem to delight in their situation. There are insensitive people on the internet just like there are in real life. It's all too easy to think that Mumsnet is some kind of 'club' which is there to support us all. However, very regularly there are threads/posts/posters that make it all too clear that this is not something that can be assumed - and that's not even taking into account the various trolls we have experienced over the years.

MN can post warnings and advisory notices as much as we like, but it will not stop people behaving like this.

"It's astonishing that no matter how many times that you, me and others have repeated that your grievances were not about privacy, but about decency and fairness, you have still had post after post about the insecurity of the internet - and very little about the real issue at stake. "

Yes, but this thread was about assumed privacy on the internet and how misplaced that assumption is.

I know I've said it already, but I am just more and more horrified the more I think about it that a predominently female site can turn out to be a place where women expressing discomfort about porn can find themselves being caleed the'sealed up vagina brigade'l

What hope is there? Most of the internet seems to be a comfy home for this kind of vile talk, and MN had seemed like a bastion in which we might escape from it. How can women do this to one another?

did anyone listen to the phone-in on five live this morning? It was about whether we are too prudish about porn.

And no, before anyone accuses me I don't wish to debate that fact. But the irony of it is not lost, as it's highly possible, likely even, that the topic for discussion could have been lifted from that original thread, given how heated it became and how active it was on mn, without it having to have been escalated further into the online world.

Justine has commented on the other thread

Which thread, DT?

"It would make it harder for the mockers to justify their behaviour though." no it wouldn't. People simply wouldn't discuss on here the fact that they'd been discussing posters/threads elsewhere, the same as most currently already don't.

Threads and posters have been discussed elsewhere since mn's inception, the fact we now have twitter/fb doesn't make that fact a new concept.

And journalists trawl mn all the time for subject matter - a contentious thread is pretty much fair game there, and most of the subject types that end up in the media are discussions that are probably had on sites all over the internet, so impossible to pin it down to a topic on mn.

Ultimately, if people are the type that want to discuss threads elsewhere they will regardless of some disclaimer at the top of the page. If you're not the type to discuss elsewhere you probably don't anyway even if there are buttons/invites to other social networks.

Putting a disclaimer at the top will only lead to a false sense of security (which IMO already exists here anyway), and unlike the no personal attacks disclaimer there is no action that mn hq can take against anyone who chooses to take a thread off board because mn are not responsible for what their members do on other websites and neither should they be.

The only way to help really would be to only post:

"I have a problem regarding X, please PM me if you can help"

But that doesnt completely get rid of the problem, it only really move it to a slightly more private media. Though anyone can still reply, at least they cant see each others responses?

The only way round it would be to log in to read the thread, as is the case on other forums.

What difference would that make? Anybody can join, no special requirements needed.

You never know who you're posting alongside - on this or any other forum - and if you post things that are sensitive, you run a risk of being hurt when your post is disseminated goodness knows where.

MN advocates FB and Twitter when it suits and courts publicity also. All fine - it's up to members to police their own postings, surely? It's just a chatboard.

How do you know it is women doing it to other women Eleison? Am I a woman? You can't tell, if you can't know even this most basic thing about the other people on this site why would you think this was a good place to talk about really sensitive stuff that is going to effect you deeply if horrible people get hold of it, why?

God it worries me some of the stuff people post on here.