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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be astounded at how much other people (my relatives, actually) eat?

46 replies

Galdem · 19/02/2011 19:57

My dad stayed with us for a fortnight over Christmas. He ate us out of house and home. It was Christmas, the house was full of food and I was happy to get into the festive-scoffing spirit, plus my dad was on holiday (lives abroad), so it was all par for the course - but my God the man could eat. It was cooked breakfasts, lunches and dinners with puddings every day, with cheese and biscuits or tea and cake in between. I didn't eat half of what he ate and still had to go on a hardcore diet all through January to shift the lard.

Now my MIL is staying with us from overseas. She expects proper cooked meals three times a day. She is happy to contribute shopping funds and to cook, so I am not griping about that - it's just the sheer volume of food that is being consumed and the amount of time devoted to cooking, eating, clearing away, shopping for food and then doing it all over again. It's crazy.

Are we the only family who quite happily go days and days just having cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch and something quick for dinner? I love my grub, but I have noticed more and more that a lot of people seem to treat eating as some sort of hobby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Galdem · 19/02/2011 19:59

This is not a veiled dig thread about obesity, btw. I am no skinny minnie and do love my food, it's just the 'eating as sport' thing I seem to notice more and more among people we know. Is it just me being overly critical? or are people becoming more and more obsessed with food?

OP posts:
mrsgetonwithit · 19/02/2011 20:01

I am with you..

brekkie.....toast or cereal

lunch......sandwich or sausage roll, maybe crisps or fruit.

dinner......usually roast...cottage pie...stew....burgers....casserole etc etc
[something hot]

puddings not often.

rinabean · 19/02/2011 20:03

I eat a lot more than you do. If I didn't, I'd pass out. I'm not an athlete or anything. It's just a metabolism thing and not really worth commenting on.

brimfull · 19/02/2011 20:04

god sounds hideous
the relentless talking about ,planning, shopping, making , eating , clearing up cycle is depressing
dh is a real foodie and talks about the next meal when we are clearing up tonights
some days I just want to not have a proper meal

so yanbu

so they expect a cooked breakfast and lunch as well ??

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 20:04

We have pretty much the same as you, Galdem, toast or cereal for breakfast; soups, salads or sandwiches for lunch; possibly a slow-cooked meal in the evening. We don't eat desserts other than fruit or yoghurt.

It must be really expensive to eat a cooked breakfast every day. Shock

I think you're right about eating habits (for some). People eat for all kinds of reasons, not just hunger but boredom, happiness, sadness, stress, celebration... food does seem to play a major part.

mousymouse · 19/02/2011 20:06

my parents and in inlaws are the same.
they eat vast amounts of food.
I like my food but dont eat as much.
my dad likes to have for breakfast:
3 slices of bread with cold meats or cheese, a soft boiled egg, a pot of yoghurt and a banana.
that would last me until lunch but he is having a filled croissant as snack and then a big meal with seconds and pud for lunch and dinner. not to forget a piece of cake for tea and chocolates in the evening.
I am feeling full just thinking of it.

hmc · 19/02/2011 20:07

Yes I think more people should remember - for the sake of their own health - that food is fuel and not a leisure pursuit. That isn't to say that food should not be enjoyed, of course it should, but eating only when you are hungry and stopping when the hunger has subsided would be a start. I'm overweight myself - although on a diet and have lost 2 stones already. I put on weight because frankly I ate to excess!

Original poster
Galdem · 19/02/2011 20:09

Yes, MIL wants something hot every morning - a fry up or an omelette, or this morning it was poached egg and kippers.

She has barely cleared away before she is sniffing about for lunch.

Today some other relatives came over for lunch and I did a HUGE cold spread. We all gorged on cheese and cold meats and breads and salad, followed by fruit salad and ice cream. I was absolutely stuffed, as were DH and the kids. This was about 2pm. By 4pm, MIL had the pots and pans out and was cooking a curry.

I am upstairs now and can smell her making toast in the kitchen. Grin

OP posts:
coastgirl · 19/02/2011 20:09

My ILs are always snacking. They live a 2.5 hour drive away and have a bag full of crisps, drink etc "for the drive". FIL once told me that a cooked breakfast really filled him up, and he didn't even need any lunch afterwards, just a cake or something would "see him through". Hmm

Original poster
Galdem · 19/02/2011 20:14

My MIL keeps snacks in her bag at all times. She currenlty has an enormous sack full of salted pistachios in her bag, plus various mini chocolate bars. But then she is American Grin.

It isn't just my family, either.

We went to some friends for the day recently. They are lovely and hospitable people, and I am very appreciative of the fact that they wanted us to be well fed and watered while in their home, but it was complete over-kill. Cooked lunch, followed by dessert, followed by cheeseboard (lovely)...but then crisps and nuts with drinks after lunch....then tea an dbiscuits...then nuts and chocolate in the car on the way for a walk on the beach...then ice cream on the beach....then crisps and beers when we got home...oh, and then it was dinner time! Grin

OP posts:
hmc · 19/02/2011 20:15

Is she quite rotund Galem?

Original poster
Galdem · 19/02/2011 20:17

Ummm...she has put on a bit of weight over the years, yes. I'd say she is generously covered Grin. I am not slagging her off, btw. She is a beautiful woman, my MIL (seriously gorgeous). At 75 she looks about 50, and really is a lovely looking woman

OP posts:
Ormirian · 19/02/2011 20:21

I think it can be a vicious circle though. If you are visiting someone and they lay one huge amounts of food, you feel obliged to try and do justice to it. Mum always does that when she has visitors. She makes a cooked breakfast and then there is also cereal and toast, then a light cooked lunch. usually soup and bread and cheese or a home-made pizza. The cakes and scones for tea. Then a bif evening meal with pud. Last time my DB and his family were staying with there they were struggling to keep up. And mum kept muttering to me 'Goodness they do eat a lot don't they?'.

Do you offer this? Or do they demand it?

ilovemydogandMrObama · 19/02/2011 20:24

Are they retired, so perhaps their lives revolve around food?

Having said that, DH is a foodie and bores me I'm quite happy to have a jacket potato or crackers/hummus for dinner.

For some, it's a hobby.

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 19/02/2011 20:27

My friend and her family are a bit like that; their life just totally revolves around food. Their weekly shopping bill is £200+ for 2 adults and 3 children under 12. If they go out anywhere, even to town for an hour, my friend takes a carrier bag stuffed full of cheesestrings, grapes, biscuits, crisps and all sorts of other things. Her children constantly say "I'm hungry" even though all they do is eat and eat.

She makes a cooked breakfast most mornings for them all, or at least a bacon sarnie, the kids have hot dinners at school, she takes snacks to the school gates at hometime for them to eat on the way home then they gorge on biscuits until tea time, then cereal, toast and more biscuits before bed.

We eat quite a lot in our house too but they eat a lot more than we, and most other people I know, do.

hmc · 19/02/2011 20:28

Mind you cooked breakfasts can be very healthy and low in fat - I often have a fried egg (fried with fry light) and some grilled back bacon with the rind cut off plus grilled tomatoes and a couple of spoonfuls of baked beans. I just don't have the sausages, buttery toast, hash browns etc

MrsBananaGrabber · 19/02/2011 20:28

Thats fuuny about your dad OP. We live abroad and my mum and dad came over for Christmas and my dad also ate us out of house and home. I asked my mum to bring British chocolate and to smuggle some proper bacon over for me, the cheeky sod was eating my special bacon and polishing off my duty free Dairy Milk.

He would eat two beakfasts, one when he got up and then another when the rest of the house got up, and like you say, cheese and crackers, bottles of port, cheesecake, cookies, the kids gingerbread house, it was non stop.

Original poster
Galdem · 19/02/2011 20:28

I keep the fridge well stocked, Orm, but I don't lay lots of food on constantly when people are staying with us for a while.

I did a weekly Tesco shop this mornign and I swear MIL has ploughed through three days worth today Grin. I know what you mean, though. At Christmas I probably ws a bit like that.

Yes@ilovemydog - they are both retired. The friends we visited aren't, though. They have two young children, too, and seem to feed them every 15 mins!

OP posts:
hmc · 19/02/2011 20:28

My dh is obsessed with food - he will often ask me what's for dinner as he settles down for lunch. Drives me nuts

BeenBeta · 19/02/2011 20:29

MIL and PIL are the same.

They are also somewhat overweight but as they have not suffered major illness and seem happy I guess we shouldn't grumble.

However, I do think PIL eating six slices of toast at breakfast where the butter is not spread but sliced off the block and laid on the bread like floor tiles is just too much.

DW and I usually only eat a small beakfast and a cooked lunch, no dinner and no snacks in between but a cup of tea and a iscuit before bed.

We just can't keep up!

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/02/2011 20:30

Yanbu.

I have been on holiday (in Barcelona) before now pre-dc, with male friends who, granted are a great deal taller and heavier than me, who wanted to stop all the time "to get something to eat", when I just wanted to get on and make the most of a visit to an amazing city. Obviously I also wanted to eat breakfast, quick lunch, and lovely dinner. But they just seemed to need food all day!

But then I guess, different people have different priorities.

PorcelinaOfTheVastOceans · 19/02/2011 20:32

urgh, i have this with DP. i usually have nothing for breakfast, something like soup or a sandwich for lunch and then a proper, but small cooked dinner, maybe one small snack during the day. i drink bloody loads of water and juice though, i think some people mistake thirst for hunger.

DP on the other hand... just as an example, a couple of days ago he had a huge bowl of cereal for breakfast, snacks before lunch, about six sandwiches for lunch, a 28oz mixed grill and then a huge chocolate pudding afterwards! and the bugger is still slim! Envy

midori1999 · 19/02/2011 20:36

I eat cereal/toast/boiled egg for breakfast, sandwich or something similar for lunch and a cooked meal in the evening, no pudding. I rarely snack, but do have the odd packet of crisps (I don't keep them in the house) or fruit as a snack and sometimes a bar of chocolate. (bit more than usual as I'm pregnant)

When we visit DMIL in Spain, we don't have cooked breakfast or anything, but eat out most days and DH and I will have three courses each and then sandwich/roll later,. We also snack more than usual, often on pastries we can't get over here. DMIL and DFIL always comment on the amount I eat. It really, really annoys me. I am on holiday when I am there FFS and don't eat like that all the time.

Unless your guests eat like that every day (and lets face it, how would you know?) then yes, YABU.

Ooid · 19/02/2011 20:37

Yes, my mother is like this. We cook 3 good meals a day and she is looking for food by 9pm. She goes to the shops herself (fags on the way) and brings back Pringles and guar-gum dips and three bars of chocolate and will 'finish it up' 'ooh aren't I naughty' and at the same time she is getting arthritis in her spine from being overweight and doing no exercise. It's pathetic.

Kerrianne · 19/02/2011 20:39

Is it a cultural thing OP? I know some cultures view food the same way as Brits tend to view alcohol and there's a constant supply of food at every family get together or gathering.

I really can't eat unless I'm actually hungry but I know a lot of other people can and do.