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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be astounded at how much other people (my relatives, actually) eat?

46 replies

Galdem · 19/02/2011 19:57

My dad stayed with us for a fortnight over Christmas. He ate us out of house and home. It was Christmas, the house was full of food and I was happy to get into the festive-scoffing spirit, plus my dad was on holiday (lives abroad), so it was all par for the course - but my God the man could eat. It was cooked breakfasts, lunches and dinners with puddings every day, with cheese and biscuits or tea and cake in between. I didn't eat half of what he ate and still had to go on a hardcore diet all through January to shift the lard.

Now my MIL is staying with us from overseas. She expects proper cooked meals three times a day. She is happy to contribute shopping funds and to cook, so I am not griping about that - it's just the sheer volume of food that is being consumed and the amount of time devoted to cooking, eating, clearing away, shopping for food and then doing it all over again. It's crazy.

Are we the only family who quite happily go days and days just having cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch and something quick for dinner? I love my grub, but I have noticed more and more that a lot of people seem to treat eating as some sort of hobby.

OP posts:

Stillchuckingit · 19/02/2011 20:39

exactly same as ggirl

Dh and pils are absolutely obsessed with food

My dishwasher cycle record for one of pils visits was 7 times in one day!! (Full size dishwasher which takes 12 place settings ...)

On one of the days, after I had served full English breakfast, coffee with biscuits, three course lunch, tea and scones, 3 course dinner, my mil then proceeded to ask for a "little grated apple before bed" to aid her digestion. I had to step out on to the terrace and count to a 100 for that one ...

Trouble is, dh really is a fantastic cook and because I have woeful willpower I am now rather rotund when I was always stick thin ...only have myself to blame however.

brimfull · 19/02/2011 20:42

yup I blame dh for my rotundness

he is annoyingly slim..bastard!

Original poster

Galdem · 19/02/2011 20:45

midori, I suspect maybe with my dad it is a holiday thing. I don't think he could afford to eat like that every day even if he wanted to. Oh, and I would never be so rude as to comment on other people's eating habits, promise!

I am pretty sure my MIL eats like that all the time, though. When we stay with her she is the same. BIL and SIL are the same, too. They can't leave the house without snacks and drinks, and as soon as we get to wherever it is we are going they ahev to stop for fast food or a coffee and cake or an ice cream etc.

It may well be cultural with the ILs, as they lives in a part of the southern states of America, where food is a huge deal.

OP posts:

Stillchuckingit · 19/02/2011 20:48

er, mine isn't

Chynah · 19/02/2011 20:55

I know that when my in laws come to stay I cook much bigger/nicer evenng meals than when it is just us. I also do a dessert which we never do. I also know that they don't eat like this when they are at home either or we would all be the size of houses! It's just a nice socialble thing to do for a couple of days. (if it included massive breakfast and lunches though I would mind lots more)

mitochondria · 19/02/2011 20:57

In some cases I think people eat more at other people's houses. When you don't have to pay for, or cook the food yourself, you'll happily eat more. My in-laws do, anyway. FIL works away during the week and apparently "doesn't bother cooking" in the evening. So he makes up for it when he comes to our house.

I'm a bit the same - for example I only have cooked breakfasts in hotels, because it's there. Wouldn't bother otherwise.

I don't think visiting family should expect a cooked breakfast, 3 course lunch and 3 course dinner plus snacks to be provided every day (unless they are prepared to chip in with the food bills and help with the washing up!)

hormonalmum · 19/02/2011 21:10

I have the opposite problem with my fil.
He stayed with us once for 3 days and the only thing he had was half a sandwich he had brought with him

I made a couple of meals but he kept saying he wasnt hungry and went to the pub

portaloo · 19/02/2011 21:17

How do they afford it all? And all that time spent at the cooker kitchen sink washing up piles and piles of dirty dishes, only to get them out again.

I have a friend who is a real foodie, and she tells me regularly that she is thinking about what she can eat as soon as she wakes before she has even opened her eyes.

Gawd knows how she affords it, but she is constantly either cooking or cleaning the kitchen, or shopping for more food. She turns almost every conversation around to her next meal, or a recipe she has found that she'd like to try, and even updates her FB with what she's had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/tea as well as new online sites where you can buy delicious food, then updates with things like 'hmmm what to have for dinner' 'am going to try and cook goulash for dinner' 'run out of potatoes, knew i should have bought a bigger bag'.

I love my friend to bits, so I listen and nod.

darleneconnor · 19/02/2011 21:19

I think it's a generational thing. when we stay with the older generation i find that the Mums esp really fuss over where the next meal and the nexts day's meals are coming from.

They call breakfast breakfast even if they get up late and dont eat it until 12 pm. They would still want lunch after that whereas I'd consider that lunch and go straight to dinner.

I dont ever have more than one proper/cooked meal a day. The amount of work that would be!

Teenybitsad · 19/02/2011 21:21

My MIL is the same and I find it really intrusive when she stas as she's alwys saying "What shall we have for lunch" etc...and I feel like we HAVE to eatwith her or it's rude.

My MIL also brings chocolate in all the time and it winds me up.

She's trying to be nice I think though.

Teenybitsad · 19/02/2011 21:22

Portaloo...my cousins do that! They take pics of meals they're having and post tehm daily!

tazmosis · 19/02/2011 21:25

If I have friends or family to stay then I cook more elaborately than I do day to day and tend to do at least 1 cooked breakfast over a weekend and always a nice dinner.

I see it as breing sociable and also part & parcel of being a hostess.

Sidge · 19/02/2011 21:26

I think a lot of people nowadays really don't know what it's like to feel hungry.

I don't mean famine-status starving, just that feeling when you haven't eaten since the last proper meal 5 hours ago and are really ready for your lunch or dinner.

It starts young as well - children start school and parents worry about how they will cope during school hours without eating every hour.

People eat constantly - in their cars, around the shops, at work, walking down the street. It amazes me how much people must spend on food especially as a lot of the convenience foods to snack on are so expensive.

OliveMalay · 19/02/2011 21:29

I think it's fine to eat, drink and be merry at Christmas :)

Also I like eating well when we have visitors or visit others. It's part of good hospitality to offer better food than you'd normally eat.

curlymama · 19/02/2011 21:32

YANBU. A friend and I took our DC to TGI Fridays (yes, I know) a couple of weeks ago, and I was astounded at how much she ate!

We were there as a treat, and I thought I ate a huge amount, and was properly stuffed afterwards to the point where simply moving feels like a huge effort, on just a main course. But their portions are huge! She managed to have a starter of potato skins, main course of a burger and chips, two side orders of onion rings and mozzarella sticks, and a pudding. She ate nearly all of that herself, I was seriously impressed, but also quite shocked that anyone could fit that amount of food into themselves in one go.

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/02/2011 21:33

Can I just say that it really annoys me that my inlaws need to have breakfast within half an hour of waking.

And, also, that MIL must have a snack or biscuits with coffee at 11am.

Otherwise she will get a migraine.

Thanks.

forehead · 19/02/2011 21:36

Some people wonder why they are overweight. They probably dont think that they eat so much

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/02/2011 21:36

I couldn't eat all that and I'm enormous. I just eat crap, but I can't eat mountains of it. My slim SIL piles it away though, I'm quite envious but I'd be even bigger if I could!

mousymouse · 19/02/2011 21:42

bibbity, yes my parents do that too and get very grumpy when they don*t or the coffee is delayed.
and when we were children (partying teenagers) they insisted we get up with them at half past eight on a sunday to have a family breakfast.

Xenia · 19/02/2011 21:51

I h ave bacon and eggs every day and a cooked lunch and dinner but I don't eat in between and the portions aren't big. However guests should try to adapt if they can and one reason the UK is so large is massive portions of everything.

duchesse · 19/02/2011 22:07

I'd be the size of a house if ate what your dad eats. I know men are supposed to have a higher metabolic rate and energy requirements than women, but surely not that much more? Your daily menu sounds about what we eat as well. I notice that visitors appear to expect a lot more to eat than we usually consume, but often they are also somewhat larger than us (in either or both directions).

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