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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not work my notice period in leaving work.

33 replies

InnocentRedhead · 19/02/2011 13:46

I have quit my job, that is the long and short of it and i am just composing my formal notice email to them. However i cannot work my notice period due to many reasons.

Last night was the final straw; i was in tears for three hours before work and also one hour there. I know a lot of people hate their job and i should, in times of financial crisis be happy with what i have or just stick it, but i couldn't i couldn't do it.

I was seriously considering hurting myself badly before going to work as a few nights in hospital would be much better than a few hours at work. I even worried DP by telling him i was going to throw myself down the stairs (and i have never spoke a truer word, i needed him to talk me out of it hence why i called him)

At work i had to leave, i spoke to a manager, he sent me home and told me that i could go home, sleep on it and have a think about it. Which i do thank him for, but i have slept on it, and i now feel even stronger for leaving. I am meant to be working the next 4 night shifts, so AIBU to not work my notice period?

OP posts:
activate · 19/02/2011 13:48

You are legally bound to unless you negotiate not to

go to your doctor and get signed off for stress instead

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2011 13:48

You poor thing.
Can you say to the sympathetic manager that you would prefer not to work your notice, see what he says?
Have you raised a grievance for the reasons your work is stressing you out?
can the GP sign you off through stress? (justifiably)

FakePlasticTrees · 19/02/2011 13:51

You'll need the reference for your next job.

Are you sure you want to resign now? If you went to the doctors, I'm sure you'd be signed off with stress if it's that bad and give yourself some time to be sure you want to leave.

ENormaSnob · 19/02/2011 13:54

I would get signed off by the Gp instead.

sevendwarves · 19/02/2011 13:55

I think really it depends on whether or not you need a reference. I've done it before when I overheard my deputy-manager and a supervisor slagging me off, but I had a place at college to retrain in a different field so I knew I wouldn't need a reference from them.

As others have said if it's that bad try going to your GP with stress.

HowFuckingRude · 19/02/2011 13:56
Shock

What job do you do that you would honestly comtemplate throwing yourself down the stairs to avoid going in?

HowFuckingRude · 19/02/2011 13:56

contemplate

nomoreheels · 19/02/2011 13:56

Definitely get a sick note from your GP - you can either buy some time to think or use it to cover your notice period. Sorry to hear things are that extreme.

SugarMousePink · 19/02/2011 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 13:58

As others have said, you need to be signed off sick. You can work your notice period while off sick.

Original poster
InnocentRedhead · 19/02/2011 14:00

Sorry, should have given a little more information. I was signed off with stress for 3 weeks in December and 2 weeks in October however this was unpaid apart from SSP, so i could not afford to live. I know in saying this i am quite possibly stupid as i wouldn't have a job so how could i afford to provide etc.

Stealth, the manager i spoke to, i told him that i would not be able to work my notice period. But going to the Doctor does seem like the best bet again

This is not a flippant decision it has being coming to this for a long time. I have spoke about the reasons for the stress to managers but nothing seems to get anywhere or seem to be done :(

OP posts:
olderyetwider · 19/02/2011 14:01

I'd second the advice to go to your GP. If it's the way you're treated at work that's making you this unhappy, to the point that you have no option but to leave then you might also consider whether it's constructive dismissal, and get some advice about a tribunal.

scotsgirl23 · 19/02/2011 14:02

At least if you go and get signed off you can job hunt while you're still "working your notice" - even if it's only on SSP it's better than no money. And they won't have any excuse to refuse you a reference for not working it.

boohoohoo · 19/02/2011 14:02

I think when you have made up your mind to leave and actually given your notice in it becomes much easier at work because you become detatched from it. However, it is really that bad then the best thing would to go to your doctor and get yourself signed off. Nothing is worth getting that upset and you really dont need to put yourself through it.

taintedpaint · 19/02/2011 14:07

I'm really sorry you're going through this, it sounds awful. :(

I agree with those saying go to your GP and get signed off though. It will put you in a better position I think.

Regardless of how you handle this though, if you are feeling this bad about what's happening, you definitely need to get out of there.

eden263 · 19/02/2011 14:07

OP, you have my sympathy - I left my job a fortnight ago, in similar circumstances. It had been crap and difficult and intolerable for months, with me getting ever more stressed, ill & anxious over it, and then there was 'an incident' at which point I decided enough was enough. I did work my notice (in fact I gave them 4 weeks even though I legally only had to give 1) but it was damned hard & I felt physically sick throughout. But I do want another job, and I'm not getting any younger, so needed to comply for future references. It's bad enough I left under acrimonious circumstances, without just not turning up and thus appearing unreliable. I did offer to leave immediately, unpaid (with fingers crossed) but they said no.

Ultimately, no-one can make you go to work. Worst case scenario you don't get paid and you screw up your chance of getting another job. Pulling a sickie is better than just not going, though. Good luck and hopefully you'll feel better with less stress. I know I do. :)

didldidi · 19/02/2011 14:08

So how are you going to manage financially?

nickelbabe · 19/02/2011 14:09

my mum handed in her notice and was sick for the whole period.

I think she had to give two weeks, but the reason that she resigned is because she couldn't cope with the stress. So she handed in her notice, went to the doctor and got signed off sick for stress.

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 14:10

It is always worth getting legal advice for constructive dismissal if you feel you have had to leave a job because your employers have allowed a situation that is stressful to continue. The cost of this is also usually covered within your house insurance.

Icoulddoitbetter · 19/02/2011 14:21

As someone else has said, it may be that once you've handed your notice in and you know there is an end in sight, then it will be more bearable. I was in a similar situatiom a few years ago (my job drove me onto Prozac Angry}. But I found once I'd made the decision to go, I could cope enough to get through the last couple of months.

But, part of me wishes I'd just got myself signed off with stress. I recall at the time being worried that it would look bad on my work record. But when I think about it now the reasons I felt so horrendous would make sense to anybody, including a future employer.

Oh and please make a formal complaint about it too. I am so mad with myself that I didn't push mine further and the people who made my life hell got away with it (and then got to do it with other people too). Things likew this really need to be stopped.

Lots of luck [smile}

SugarMousePink · 19/02/2011 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 19/02/2011 14:31

Please go back to the doctors, and not just for the note.

HowFuckingRude · 19/02/2011 15:17

Will you be letting people down if you just don't turn up?

I don't just mean co-workers and your employers - are you in one of the 'caring professions' where people rely on you for support?

southmum · 19/02/2011 15:18

They may withold payment for the notice period but thats all they can do. But I would go back to the docs anyway.

As SMP says - your health is more important

SugarMousePink · 19/02/2011 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.