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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Eating out in restaurants and noise levels

63 replies

Grabaspoon · 19/02/2011 10:36

Popped into Nandos last night with a friend for a quick bite to eat. It was pretty packed for 5ish and so we were happy to grab a table.

We got a table for 2 next to a group of 16 year old girls celebrating a birthday. Understanding that teenage girls can be loud, we just got on with ordering and chatting. The girls were a little loud but it was manageable. As our dinner arrived the girls decided this would be a good time to take a group photo so stood the otherside of our table and took photos - so we just sat there and waited as they took ages to take a shot - again we understood that teenage girls are like this - friend and I are in our mid 20's.

The girls finally sat down and so we were able to start our dinner. Then the girls decided to get drinks. To explain the girls were sat in a tunnel table under the stairs so on benches which they can get of either side. Yet once again 4 of the 8 decided to get out our way, again this was fine until they came back and then took another several minutes to sit down, they literally just stood at the end of the table. After almost 10 minutes of this I told the girls to sit down as I was trying to eat, thus came a lot of "brave teenage girls" saying to each other "Oh we can't go to the toilet as we can't stand up" etc etc for the remainder of the meal.

Again we just ignored. However when they were served their meal they bitched to the waiter who rolled his eyes at us.

I then decided to complain to the manager who didn't seem to think that there was any problem regarding the noise despite other tables all tutting at the girls, or that his waiter had rolled his eyes and given us a dirty look.

So in the end we left and decided to pop to Zizzi's for pudding where there was a table of 15 10 year old girls and boys with 2 adults. Although a little loud at times, they were extremely well behaved so I spoke to the adult as they left and told them that we had left the 1st restaurant due to noisy teenagers and was impressed with the children's behaviour and noise level.

So was Ibu

a) to tell the girls to sit down
b) to complain to the manager
c) to praise the children in the second restaurant
d) to take a group of 2 year olds to Nando's next week and let them make as much noise as possible as according to the manager they are a family restaurant and would be happy with us to make as much noise as the teenagers made.

Ooops didn't realise it was this long!

OP posts:

noodle69 · 19/02/2011 10:42

Its a family restaurant its going to be noisy. I would of said if you wanted quiet should have gone to a grown ups restaurant.

jenandberry · 19/02/2011 10:44

You were in nandos.

mmmitsdelicious · 19/02/2011 10:48

OMG YABU!

If you wanted peace and quiet you should have eaten at home.

smokingnuns · 19/02/2011 10:56

YANBU. I've had this where someone's bum was an inch from my face for a loooong time (tempted to prong my fork into it), and that was in quite a posh restaurant. However, in your case they were teenagers and it's easy to get caught up in the group party/excitement. If you were shirty when you asked them to sit down, breaking their bubble, they would have hit back. The waiter was out of order and the management sided with the big group because they were bringing in a lot of money whereas you were only two.

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 19/02/2011 10:56

I am a nanny so I know how much noise to expect in a family restaurant and just how much noise is acceptable, ie if the children I look after made as much noise as this they would be told to quieten down. As I said I was more than understanding about how screechy teenage girls can be - but when they were monopolising the noise level, annoying other diners and causing a nuisance - taking 10 minutes to sit down whilst crowded around our table, so we couldn't eat.

OP posts:

Violethill · 19/02/2011 11:01

Tricky one.

If you're going to eat in Nandos, then you have to accept there are likely to be big groups, teenagers, and quite a bit of movement around, with people refilling drinks etc - that's the nature of the place. It isn't somewhere you go for a cosy quiet twosome.

On the other hand, hanging around right by another diner's table is not really on - especially for 10 minutes - it's intrusive and rude, although I agree with smokingnuns that when teens are in a group like that, they probably get caught up in the general festivities and are being thoughtless rather than deliberate.

5DollarShake · 19/02/2011 11:04

Seriously. You were in Nandos.

Original poster

Grabaspoon · 19/02/2011 11:12

The meal wasn't supposed to be a quiet meal for 2 - it was going to be a quick bite to eat, a glass of wine and a natter. We regularly go into Nandos as it's close to work and we have had no issues before with the noise level as I said we're in our mid 20's and know just how much noise we made as teenagers etc.

I didn't mind the loud chatter/laughter etc It was just the attitude and extreme screeching etc, then the bitching after we'd asked them (nicely) to sit down.

As I said after we left we went to Zizzi's and despite there being more children in a bigger group and who were much younger the noise level was acceptable.

OP posts:

EmmaBemma · 19/02/2011 11:14

I don't understand why you couldn't eat your food because people on the next table were standing up?

Violethill · 19/02/2011 11:15

Fair enough then - sounds like they were out of order. I think somewhere like Nandos you expect laughter and loud talking, but screeching is unacceptable anywhere - whether its from teenage girls or toddlers. Also, getting up from your own table and hanging around directly by someone elses is bloody bad manners

Violethill · 19/02/2011 11:17

EmmaBemma - I think she meant the girls were standing right by her table - arses in face kind of thing. Would certainly put me off my spicy cajun!

LifeInTheSlowLane · 19/02/2011 11:17

It was Nando's, not tea at the Ritz!

bigTillyMint · 19/02/2011 11:17

YANBU Teenagers are loud and self-interested.

However, I wouldn't have sat next to them in the first place

Gemsy83 · 19/02/2011 11:19

Its Nandos- overun with chavvy mouthy teens and other undesirable sorts. I think you were being rather rude 'telling' them to sit down I mean wtf?

solooovely · 19/02/2011 11:27

I don't think you were unreasonable, it would have annoyed me to have someones arse so close when I was trying to eat. I would have dealt with it more subtly though, but "accidently" poking them with a fork and then going "Oh sorry!". They would have moved then I think. The waiter was out of order for rolling his eyes at you. How fucking dare he! He is there to serve you not to role his eyes at you. How fucking dare he!

jenga079 · 19/02/2011 11:30

YABU - it's Nandos. To the teenage girls it's the height of sophistication and excitement. It was also probably the start of half term, hence even more excitement. You're old enough to know it's a family restaurant and what to expect there.

Take the two year olds next week. I'm sure they'll be welcomed with open arms (and given colouring pencils!) though you may find it rather stressful.

(BTW - I agree the waiter was unreasonable; he shouldn't have given you the dirty look)

Chil1234 · 19/02/2011 11:36

YANBU.... I'd blame the restaurant layout, however. If they've jammed the tables together so closely that one group can't go to the loo without disturbing another table then it's simply overcrowded. And to put two people - who will want to chat - next to a big noisy party is pretty stupid as well. Mr Eye-Roller should have offered you a different table or a free dessert or something.... chains can be so rubbish at customer service.

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2011 11:42

agree the layout of the restaurant must be dire if the table next to you getting up and down has that much impact on your meal.
YANBU about the screeching and the photos though

zonkin · 19/02/2011 11:46

YABU If in Nandos or Pizza Express groups, kids and lots of noise is to be expected.

Meglet · 19/02/2011 12:22

Yabu. What did you expect from nandos? Hadn't you been before?

It was very sweet to tell the zizzi's family the kids were well behaved though. Mum took my dc's to costa's the other week and a couple of older ladies told her how well behaved they were. Would be nice to see it at home .

sims2fan · 19/02/2011 12:27

I can't believe how many people are saying that inappropriate behaviour is acceptable just because it was Nandos. I wasn't aware that certain restaurants should be filled with screaming, screeching kids and loud and obnoxious teenagers just because of their name/type! Personally I would even expect people to be aware of other diners in somewhere like McDonalds. Yes, talk, chat, etc, but remember that you're in a restaurant and other people are trying to eat. Like you say, I would have no problem with teens chatting and having a good time, (I remember going out for a meal with my friends for my 16th) but I would definitely be annoyed if they were all standing around by my table, as I really hate this. Also, they were very rude if they took photos across your table without asking if this was okay. And I know that at that age, if someone had told me to sit down because I was in the way I would have bloody well done it! Same as I would now if I hadn't realised I was disturbing someone but they informed me I was (like to think that wouldn't happen though!). Plus, then sitting and bitching about you is not acceptable, and the manager should at least have reminded them that while they are to have a good time so are the rest of the diners and everyone has the right to enjoy their meals.

Vallhala · 19/02/2011 12:37

The difference between Nandos and Zizzi's (although I've never been to Nandos and WTF is Zizzi's anyway?) seems to me to be about adult supervision.

The younger children were better behaved because they were supervised by decent adults. The 16 yo girls weren't. My nearly 16 yo and her friends would behave perfectly when out with me but as much as I would be ashamed if they behaved differently out of my sight I wouldn't be surprised if they did and much loudness, giggling and photo-taking was the result, accompanied by teenage attitude.

You went to an establishment which is popular with unaccompanied youngsters and then expressed surprise and annoyance when they behaved like unaccompanied youngsters. No, they shouldn't behave like that but the fact is that they will and any reasonably intelligent 20-something should surely be aware of this and if they don't like it opt for another eatery.

I can, if I wish, eat in McDonalds or my local soft play place. However I'm not fond of other people's screaming kids so I choose instead to eat in my lovely local C15th thatched pub/restaurant which doesn't tolerate bunches of teenagers or screaming toddlers.

Works for me. :)

Violethill · 19/02/2011 12:40

Agree sims2fan

I think the point is, there are different levels or 'appropriate' behaviour depending on the venue- ie: in a family type eatery, it's reasonable to expect large groups, higher noise levels, children, whereas in more upmarket places it may well be appropriate behaviour to have lower noise levels etc.

BUT inappropriate behaviour is unacceptable anywhere. I don't think its ok for people to screech, whether they are 16 yr olds or toddlers. Likewise with hanging around someone else's table (and I'd include in that, parents allowing their toddlers to toddle around and invade other diners space in family pubs/restaurants, as that's an issue that's come up before on MN!)

GabbyLoggon · 19/02/2011 12:54

Hi Heard an item about this on radio this morning.

Apparently posh r,rants are veering towards not allowing children; because well orf people are said to buy an atmosphere
when noshing.

ask Gabby Logan she has two lively twins; and does the eatery circuit.

I think posh places rip diners off with added charges. (well some of them) cheers

Violethill · 19/02/2011 12:58

Of course people are buying an 'atmosphere' - that's part of the point of eating out. Otherwise why not just eat at home?!

It's entirely appropriate for some restaurants to be geared towards adults only, and appropriate for others to be family friendly.

And IMO always inappropriate for anyone to stick their arse in someone's face while they're dining, or hang around their table, or allow their children to hang around others' tables, or for anyone to screech!

Common sense really

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