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Original poster

Eating out in restaurants and noise levels

63 replies

Grabaspoon · 19/02/2011 10:36

Popped into Nandos last night with a friend for a quick bite to eat. It was pretty packed for 5ish and so we were happy to grab a table.

We got a table for 2 next to a group of 16 year old girls celebrating a birthday. Understanding that teenage girls can be loud, we just got on with ordering and chatting. The girls were a little loud but it was manageable. As our dinner arrived the girls decided this would be a good time to take a group photo so stood the otherside of our table and took photos - so we just sat there and waited as they took ages to take a shot - again we understood that teenage girls are like this - friend and I are in our mid 20's.

The girls finally sat down and so we were able to start our dinner. Then the girls decided to get drinks. To explain the girls were sat in a tunnel table under the stairs so on benches which they can get of either side. Yet once again 4 of the 8 decided to get out our way, again this was fine until they came back and then took another several minutes to sit down, they literally just stood at the end of the table. After almost 10 minutes of this I told the girls to sit down as I was trying to eat, thus came a lot of "brave teenage girls" saying to each other "Oh we can't go to the toilet as we can't stand up" etc etc for the remainder of the meal.

Again we just ignored. However when they were served their meal they bitched to the waiter who rolled his eyes at us.

I then decided to complain to the manager who didn't seem to think that there was any problem regarding the noise despite other tables all tutting at the girls, or that his waiter had rolled his eyes and given us a dirty look.

So in the end we left and decided to pop to Zizzi's for pudding where there was a table of 15 10 year old girls and boys with 2 adults. Although a little loud at times, they were extremely well behaved so I spoke to the adult as they left and told them that we had left the 1st restaurant due to noisy teenagers and was impressed with the children's behaviour and noise level.

So was Ibu

a) to tell the girls to sit down
b) to complain to the manager
c) to praise the children in the second restaurant
d) to take a group of 2 year olds to Nando's next week and let them make as much noise as possible as according to the manager they are a family restaurant and would be happy with us to make as much noise as the teenagers made.

Ooops didn't realise it was this long!

OP posts:
GabbyLoggon · 19/02/2011 13:06

Violehill,

Which places have you been to where diners stick their arses in your face. (was Mrs Logan in?)

what you are telling me is true: but I will put it in a different way. Different classes and age-groups have different eating habit manners

You may be better informed than me on one aspect.

Is it in common in posh cafes for diners to get slightly sloshed on wines? .

And it it a rather polite drunkeness? cheers

nomoreheels · 19/02/2011 13:14

YANBU to not want them crowding round your table while you eat. It amazes me how inconsiderate a lot of teens & young people I see around town are. It's fine to be excited & a bit giddy but you can still be polite! I regularly get teens who let doors slam into me, barge past me/knock into me, make a mess at their tables, & seem to have zero self awareness about how they might be annoying others.

Just last night I had to call the local police anti-social behaviour team as I had 6 teens drinking outside my house, screeching & smashing bottles. They were about 14. They were moved on but they left a mess which I had to clean up this morning. I'm afraid I get this a lot & it's making me less & less tolerant of mouthy yoofs.

I wasn't perfect, but I had a very strict upbringing with regard to manners & was always very conscious of my manners when I was out. Besides, I found you were much more likely to be treated like adults in coffee shops, cafes etc if you were sensible, even if you didn't have a lot of money to spend.

I'm expecting my first DC & I intend to be very strict about manners, littering etc as soon as they can take it in. (We'll see if it works... :) )

Violethill · 19/02/2011 13:21

Gabby- the OP was referring to other diners standing right up against her table for up to 10 mins. Thats arse at face level. Unecessary and Very rude.
Don't quite understand the rest of your post. But if you're asking about drunkenness- quite simple really, loud, obnoxious behaviour is unacceptable anywhere - not a class issue at all.

sims2fan · 19/02/2011 13:24

Violethill- oh yes, I definitely include toddlers hanging around other diners' tables as unuacceptable. When I was younger we had a nice, family friendly restaurant near us that was popular with all age groups. I quite often went there with my parents. Then a play area was introduced inside. I have no problem with play areas, and as a child if we went anywhere with one I had to stay at the table until we had ordered, then play until food arrived, then had to stay at table while I and rest of family ate. But, in this restaurant kids would be back and forwards to play area, come back eat one chip then go again etc, racing through the restaurant, playing tag and hide and seek among the tables, barging past the busy staff, shouting to the parents from other end of the restaurant etc. We soon stopped going, as did most adults, and families who did not want to have to explain to their kids why they couldn't rush around when every other child was. Soon restaurant was taken over by another company, play area removed, and restaurant became popular again!

blueshoes · 19/02/2011 13:38

OP, the teenagers' behaviour crossed the line into inappropriate behaviour that is unacceptable in any type of eating establishment.

Well done you for telling them to sit down.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 13:46

I don't think you were unreasonable, OP. I find that teens on a one-to-one can be really polite and thoughtful, but when they're with others their manners can go out of the window.

It's all about encroaching on personal space; nobody likes it but the teens at the restaurant seem to have been completely self-absorbed.

Someone told me a rhyme once, I don't know where it's from but it goes like this...

^"Some thirty inches from my nose,
the frontier of my person goes.
Beware of rudely crossing it,
I have no gun but I can spit..."^

I don't know what you can do about rude behaviour other than pick others up on it when it happens, but I think most would sympathise with you. :)

ENormaSnob · 19/02/2011 14:05

Yanbu

noise is tolerable

arse in face is not.

Cat98 · 19/02/2011 14:16

Hmm, yanbu generally, but yabu for going to nandos. ; )

GabbyLoggon · 19/02/2011 14:17

viole Manners are a class issue. The way one eats is up to a point. (ask school teachers viole)

Especially primary school teachers.

Drunkeness a class issue....take it to a lower level ..Being reall merry.

Surely wine tipplers like you may be; are different to vodka drinkers (like you probably are not)

If you dont think England has a sometimes shallow class system; then watch Shameless and Doughton Toffpots. ( I did say TOFF)

We have done "ARSES" twice. Can we move on or do Wenger, Arsshaving and Arsenenal

It is a funny coincidence at Arsenal Football Club.

HowFuckingRude · 19/02/2011 14:32

Are you drunk Gabby? WTF have the Gooners got to do with this?! LOL

Shock
cyb · 19/02/2011 14:33

Yes posts read VERY strangely

Chil1234 · 19/02/2011 14:37

Ignore Gabby... he's a regular who either has a serious drug habit or once heard the term 'stream of consciousness' and thought MN members would enjoy a sample.

Violethill · 19/02/2011 14:41

"he's a regular who either has a serious drug habit or once heard the term 'stream of consciousness' and thought MN members would enjoy a sample"........ done badly!

compo · 19/02/2011 14:45

I'd have gone to zizzis in the first place
can't stand nandos

compo · 19/02/2011 14:47

It's for going to with kids not for adult only cosy chats

CaptainNancy · 19/02/2011 14:59

We went out last night to a very nice restaurant that is quite small (40 covers) and we were a party of 30 (all adults, no children).
I felt extremely sorry for the other patrons, though as we had booked well in advance I understand they were warned about the situation ahead of booking.

It's difficult- people should have a freedom to socialise, and to enjoy good food together.

That said, Nandos is more a place where you bolt sustenance down rather than go for convivial dining. The noise levels there at any time are aircraft-engine levels, certainly not somewhere you can go for a chat with or without teenage parties present.

I think YABU re Nandos, but YANeverBU to praise children's good behaviour - wherever you see it.

Hammy02 · 19/02/2011 15:04

CaptainNancy. Why would a group of 30 make any more noise than 15 groups of 2? Or am I missing something? I often go out in a large group but that doesn't stop us acknowledging that we aren't the only people in the restaurant.

CaptainNancy · 19/02/2011 15:06

Oh lordy- yes! Because people all want to talk to one another halfway up the table...

Hammy02 · 19/02/2011 15:08

So you just shout up and down the table? Gawd. Reminds me of school dinners.

CaptainNancy · 19/02/2011 15:15

Shock Not I!
I cannot be held responsible for other adults' behaviour though. Some people do not really consider others very much...

Violethill · 19/02/2011 15:17

I was thinking the same Hammy.

OK, there will be a different atmosphere with a party of 30, than with 15 couples, but surely that's no excuse for actually yelling halfway up the table!! When you're with a larger group, isn't it normal to chat with the 5 or so people around you (one either side plus the 3 opposite is hardly limiting your conversation!) And of course you can always swap seats between courses so everyone can get to talk to everyone else.

If you honestly do mean a calling up the table, raucous affair, to the extent that you felt sorry for other diners, then I don't understand why you'd book an intimate restaurant for that kind of gathering...

Violethill · 19/02/2011 15:18

X posts there Captain!

Sounds like your manners are fine, but perhaps others in your party weren't

bupcakesandcunting · 19/02/2011 15:33

Just because a restaurant is geared towards families, doesn't mean that it's a fucking free-for-all! I don't allow my 3 year old to misbehave whether we're in Burger King or somewhere naicer. I'm still paying for food wherever I might be eating. I'd rather not pay for the dubious priviledge of dining with morons sticking their arses near my table.

YANBU.

HowFuckingRude · 19/02/2011 15:34

I'd rather not pay for the dubious priviledge of dining with morons sticking their arses near my table

Lapdancing clubs seem to do well out of it though Grin

Hammy02 · 19/02/2011 15:36

Bupcakes-I totally agree. A child should be able to stay sat at a table, wait to be served and finish their meal without having to run around and bug other diners. If they don't have the manners to do that, it speaks volumes about mealtimes in their own home.

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