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Original poster

To Have Gone and Drank Another Bottle Of Red?

41 replies

humanoctopus · 19/02/2011 00:44

Big thanks to all who helped me out before on this issue.

I have stayed mostly-ish sober. Not a smidgen of alcohol has passed my lips, at all. I was totally proud of myself.

My GP rang me to say, that after some variety of tests, he thinks I may have ovarian cancer.

Holy fuck..... If its true, he thinks its very early (sizing of ovaries - results of bloods and scans).

Am I being unreasonable to go and drink another bottle of wine after dh has gone to bed?

I thought I was fine after the gp phoned me to ask me to come in for more tests, but suddenly I felt out of control and headed for the red wine.

Love some input. Thanks.

OP posts:
tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 00:50

dont know what to say but seeing as im up and cant sleep I really dont want this to go unanswered.

what a horrible f'n shock for you.

I would say YABDFVBC....UNREASONIBLE to drink more wine.

have had wine already? if so you have had enough, if not be proud that you are reasonibly sobber.

is your DH very supportive, if so go and tell him that you want more wine but need him to help you resist.

p.s Im not aware of any past problems you have had, this based simply on this thread.

Salmotrutta · 19/02/2011 00:52

Oh God ... if you want to have a binge do it.
I doubt it affects your outcome.
Hope you are OK humanoctopus .... I have no experience so sending you good wishes. XXX

Quodlibet · 19/02/2011 00:53

You poor thing. Sorry you've had such terrible news.

I don't think you really want a jury to judge whether you're eligible to drink a bottle of wine, do you?

You sound like you're doing an incredible job of facing up to some really difficult challenges. You don't sound 'out of control', just like you're having a hard time processing this, just like anyone else would. My thoughts are with you.

AimingForSerenity · 19/02/2011 00:54

Have no good advice here but you're only human and a shock like this would knock you for six. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Don't assume the worst. Hope things are ok for you.

RunawayRasin · 19/02/2011 00:54

YANBU (but like tomhardy I don't know your history. I know it's easier said than done but try not to panic, especially when you've not had diagnosis confirmed. Keep your chin up and let us know what happens.

For you: Wine

Quodlibet · 19/02/2011 00:54

Echoing above: seek some support. From your DH, from us, from Samaritans if necessary. We're all probably better for you than wine.

Salmotrutta · 19/02/2011 00:56

Should add - YANBU - one night's dulling the pain of your diagnosis is not going to matter.
Sending you my very best wishes.

M. XX

tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 00:57

I hope I didnt sound judy when saying dont have more wine...

just wanted to project that wine will not provide the real support you need.

tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 00:59

Im worried it would matter salmotrutta, especialy if op has had a journey and battle to not drink.

I worry it would be a set back that would hinder appropriate support.

MrsShrekTheThird · 19/02/2011 01:00

also sending you hugs.... have what you need for tonight (but hopefully stop before you have so many as to make you feel like sh*t in the morning)
hang in there.

Salmotrutta · 19/02/2011 01:10

tomhardyismydh - I know, .... I didn't mean to minimise your message, really I didn't. I just meant that if she wants to obliterate it tonight then no-one will judge her.
I've read many of your post tomhardy and I know you are kind and supportive ... I'm just saying that humanoctopus shouldn't beat herself up if she wants to drown her sorrows tonight. I'm not advocating drowning her sorrows every night IYSWIM.

Original poster
humanoctopus · 19/02/2011 01:11

Thankyou all for the messages.
The gp's phonecall knocked me for six.
I am usually very healthy. This just came out of the blue and I am worried, but keeping it under control. I am absolutely awful at letting people in real life know what's going on for me ( what would I do without MN??)

As background, I found it very hard to limit my wine drinking, awhile back and found great support here (and I thank all who suggested a total cut out).

I am shocked by my almost instinctive urge to keep drinking the bottles of wine in the house (total of 2 bottles of red). It peeves me that instead of contacting my great friends, or ok hubbie, I prefer to get on here and drink wine.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 19/02/2011 01:18

Oh OK humanoctopus I didn't know any of your backstory regarding wine drinking.
I certainly didn't mean to encourage excess drinking but all I meant to convey was a shit diagnosis merits some dulling of the pain.
Please look after yourself ... and very best wishes

Quodlibet · 19/02/2011 01:20

I think I can understand that instinct too humanoctopus. Runs in my family.

You're self-aware of the problem now though, which has got to be a good thing.

Who might be a good support to you in RL? What are the obstacles to sharing with them about this? (apart from, obvs, that it's 1.19am...)

tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 01:20

I understand where you are coming from Salmotrutta also. I realy didnt want to be judgy but can see how it came across and didnt think you where minimising, I can see that your advice is just as consrtuctive and may be more relevent to op than mine.

Humanoctopus do you feel if you can finish the wine you can then continue to limit your intake, will it affect your ability to function, will it lead to a binge tommorrow, If not go ahead and drink it. have a couple of pain killers in the morning.

If your problem drinking is significant then think twice.

I can imagine your news is something to absorb your self just now, before you need to seek support from others, my Dmum did not tell anyone for some time that she had a diagnosis of cancer

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2011 01:23

Alcohol is a major depressant so it probably wouldn't make you feel better
Sympathies for your bad news Sad

Original poster
humanoctopus · 19/02/2011 01:26

My pattern of drinking is that I get plastered today, then recover by tea time tomorrow, then don't drink for a month or more.

I don't know why I don't confide in my friends more. I really need them and understand why they are hurt by me and my lack of sharing.

For example, my sister killed herself in gruesome circumstances (on the local news, radio, etc) and I waited until the day before the funeral to let my friends know (all of whom attended, brought food, entertained my kids, hugged me constantly). I would love to let them in. But I prefer to drink. Help

OP posts:
SueWhite · 19/02/2011 01:28

No, I'm sorry. It is not good for ANYONE to drink a bottle of wine by themselves in one night. I don't want to be harsh, but if you've had problems with alcohol in the past I think it's important to keep in sight what an acceptable amount of alcohol is for one evening and, if we're being really medical about it, it's no more than one large glass.

Quodlibet · 19/02/2011 01:35

----^!----

How terrible. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.

Your friends are in all likelihood not hurt by your lack of sharing. I know it can feel like you've left it too late to open up about things, but you haven't.

What your friends probably feel is love and concern for you and a wish to support you should you need it, which you do. Whenever you need it and however long you need it for.

Aside from this, have you talked to your GP about getting any formal support, counselling or therapy? In light of your sister's death, perhaps you need more support in addition to your friends?

Original poster
humanoctopus · 19/02/2011 01:36

SueWhite I do agree with you.
I feel shite. But needy and unable to do otherwise.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 19/02/2011 01:39

Ah human - what can I say? I've not walked in your shoes but I know how hard it is to share feelings. So sorry to hear about your sister.
Please look after yourself - don't overdo the alcohol. Big hugs.

tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 01:40

You need some one to talk to octopus and I think like sue says in addition to your friends.

so dare I ask whats the position with the wine now, have you had more?

Quodlibet · 19/02/2011 01:41

It sounds like what you're asking for help with is not getting your alcohol consumption under control. It sounds like you're doing well with that, overall.

It sounds like you're asking for help in understanding and rectifying why you find it easier to drink than to seek support from your friends.

Original poster
humanoctopus · 19/02/2011 01:42

Quodlibet I suppose that part of my 'ishoos' would be that I have never mentioned to my GP how I have coped after my sister's suicide. I was pregnant at the time and had to 'mention' it (had the whole awfully terribly unhelpful antenatal mental health teams 'support').
Maybe I am just crappy at getting help. The wine feels wonderful now. Oh I just don't know what to do?

OP posts:
tomhardyismydh · 19/02/2011 01:43

have you considerec AA? you maybe able to just go and talk about your drinking alonside your diagnosis.

AA fellowships accept anyone and may provide the anonimity you may need to just blurt it all out.