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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DS phone stolen from school so WIBU

56 replies

seriouslycantbebothered · 17/02/2011 18:28

To phone the little S**t every 2 minutes to make me feel better . I wouldnt mind he only got the phone at christmas . we know who it was but nothing anyone can do . My Ds who is 11 is crying hes eyes out . Shame he has had to learn such a hard lesson in life .

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bestdaysofmylife · 18/02/2011 14:37

Losing his new phone is very upsetting for your DS. I am sorry for him that he is upset. However if he is 11 years old he could surely cope for 15 minutes without needing to phone you? Much easier for schools if mobile phones are left at home and saves these sorts of problems. Yes times have changed, but children as recently as the 90's coped without being able to ring their mum every two minutes and would again if allowed to stand on their own two feet. I apologise if your DS has special needs which mean he needs 24/7 supervision.

As for the other child (who may/may not have stolen the phone) perhaps he is a "little shit" or maybe he's taking them to get attention, perhaps he has no one to care or buy him what all the other kids have ,perhaps any attention is worth geting even from the police, perhaps his DM or older DB tell him to so they can sell them & get the money for drugs / paying the bills, maybe he has mental health issues, maybe he has other problems that you couldn't even dream of...

Shock and Sad at people judging an 11 year old they have never met before as a little shit without the slightest insight into his background. Hope you would be equally happy for others to make similar judgements about your own DCs behaviour.

IMHO OPs DS is the lucky one.

FabbyChic · 18/02/2011 14:38

Phone up the network provider and say it has been stolen so they block it. YOu can get phones for a tenner from Asda/Tesco.

FabbyChic · 18/02/2011 14:40

Sorry you have had it blocked.

Must read faster.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 18/02/2011 14:40

The stupid reason I let him take the phone as
A I am not used to secondary school culture . (I am now and it was a sharp learning curve )
B My friend said oh let him take it . He never looses anything ,he is very careful with his belongings . So why punish him for being good .
C I am a bloody idiot .

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Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 18/02/2011 14:45

The phone was a gift from my boss who had updated her phone . . She knew how much he would love it . I swear I would have to surgically remove it from his hand at weekends . iI did not react very well towards when it first happened as I blamed him for not putting it in his locker . This has been a hard lesson for him to learn after all he is only 11 . My gut feeling is dont replace it for the same model again . He has a spare phone now . But then I think the little thief wins again if I dont replace it . I know I know I must be too bloody soft . But he is such a geek my son I swear he would have married that phone if he could have done . ..

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Serendippy · 18/02/2011 15:07

YANBU to be upset but you know now that your DS should not take anything of value to school. Learning done, move on Smile

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 18/02/2011 20:12

Bloody hell CID involved now as apparently two people involved because they were seen actually holding a phone each and now get this one of the little angles is selling the phone on face book . beggers belief they are 11 years old

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thefruitwhisperer · 18/02/2011 21:01

This might be unpopular but I sort of blame you for letting him take the phone into school. Sorry, its not the schools responsibility to look after your sons belongings for him.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 19/02/2011 08:11

Yes I do blame myself for not realising about secondary school culture and thieving but where at any point have i blamed the school . I havnt because as far as I see it its not there fault How could it be . Admitdly (sp) the policy is to lock the door and this wasnt done but that is only a factor . One of the children who cam into the changing room to STEAL the phones had been in exclusion (in a class with a teacher and not in normal lessons ) all day as is usual for this child . The other child had just come out od a detention . As I said I dont blame the school I blame myself first then I blame my DS as he didnt stick to what we agreed the children who stole it well what can I say .

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onceamai · 20/02/2011 09:03

Thieving shouldn't be a part of secondary school culture. It certainly wasn't when I was 11 (40 years ago) and anyone caught stealing then would have been expelled and rightly so. This is precisely why society is broken.

mummytime · 20/02/2011 09:13

Thieving is not part of a good secondary school culture.

Most kids at secondary school have mobile phones. I made both mine have "bricks" until they knew what was safe etc. It is best to start with a very cheap one, and on pay as you go.

Hopefully the police manage to do something about this particular boy.

BTW its not that easy to permenantly exclude someone, it can take months of reports and interventions to show this is the last resort. Although a criminal investigation can speed things up.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 20/02/2011 10:26

fingers crossed on the exclusion but pitty the next school . hey maybe when they leave school they could get a job in carphone warehouse

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Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 21/02/2011 19:15

And so the saga continues . The police have phoned tonight to say they are going round to the little angels house to ask him a few things . Yes of course we know he is going to ignore it but at least we have tried to get closure as the Americans would say .

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Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 15/03/2011 15:04

Well the little rascle and his friend have got away with it so time to move on through gritted teath I might add . So even after another boy reporting to the school that he saw the little sweetie with my ds phone (in bright green iluminus (sp) case . This child was even searched ( turn out pockets Im sure ) by the teachers as they know what he is like . Even after this child was interviewed at home by the police and did a statement which backed up my sons statement . Even after the child he passed it onto admited to my Ds "yeah he did offer it to me for a fiver but I didnt nick it " And the poor kid who saw him and did the statement after the kid has been intimidating him at school which thankfully the school has dealt with . I have written a letter to this child saying how gratefull we are for his supportand how we admire him . I just feel so bloody gutted that all these two little darlings got was a visit from the police and the one who bloomin nicked it his stupid dad totally denies his son would have anything to do with it . So because both boys say it was the other one they get away with it feeling abit cockier Im sure . Ok rant over onwards and upwards .

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Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 15/03/2011 15:06

oh by the way that last rant was my way of getting closure lol

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bruffin · 15/03/2011 15:29

One day they won't get away with it seriously

We are going to court at easter for the two boys who mugged my DS for his phone. There is another boy involved and this will probably be another court case for another boy. One of them is in prison already Shock

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 15/03/2011 15:42

sorry to hear about your son I hope it goes well for you .

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scaryteacher · 15/03/2011 15:56

'Thieving is not part of a good secondary school culture.' Thieving is part of secondary school culture full stop. Doesn't matter if the students are from a rich or poor background, they nick because they can. Anyone who tries to say any different is delusional frankly.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 07:33

Scary T its such a shame but I think you are right to a degree . It has been explained to me that some schools it is accepted practice to lock the classroom door behind yoe after every lesson . Thankfully in my Ds's school this dosnt seem to be the case just some little oppertunist intent on stealing .I just hope Karma comes and gets him big time .

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onceamai · 16/03/2011 08:10

It is part of secondary school culture because those running schools have allowed it to become so. That is what has cracked society in the last 30 years. It didn't happen when I was at school in the 70's and if it had the child would have been expelled.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 09:32

I totally see your point of view onceamal but my way of thinking is that we didnt have such technical goodies when we were 11 . I also think that the schools hands are tied because of political correctivness and you cant just expell the little sods . Noe if the school expel the little darling who stole my ds phone and another education authority wont take him on , my ds scool is responsible for his education . The head said to me that is one private education she is not prepared to pay for . Also father of this child says its not his son . come on please . the parents have to take some responsibilty .

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RunAwayWife · 16/03/2011 09:43

Report it to the police

kreecherlivesupstairs · 16/03/2011 09:46

Onceamai, I think you are wrong. I was at school in the 70s and theft did occur. A lot. Mobile phones weren't invented then but walkmans and digital watches were.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 13:43

runaway wife please read thread .

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Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 13:44

I vaguely remember pe kit going missing but not alot else ,but in my defence it was along time ago . (im 46)

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