to point out the many POSITIVES of having boys in today's society (long sorry)

[elisio1]

I have 2 DSs - 1 and 3 and have read , with mounting amazement and horror, all the posts of the type:" I'm scared of having boys because: they don't show emotions/don't have the same childcare instinct/I can't go shopping with them/you lose them when they get married/paternal grandparents get a raw deal etc etc

Thought it was time to counter some of these statements and point out the many great things about having boys in 21st century UK.

1. Just as the female "role" has changed dramatically in the last few decades, so has the male "role" changed, except in a different (but equally positive) direction:

• It's GREAT that women can now have fulfulling careers, take leading managerial roles etc, but I also see it as GREAT that men can now play a much bigger part in the childcare.

• If my sons want to be stay-at-home dads when/if they have children, that is now a real option. I'm really pleased about that.

-If my sons want to be midwives/primary school teachers/nursery workers, that too is a real option(a few around now and I suspect the numbers will increase and increase. -Following on from the above, boys are increasingly "allowed " to be sensitive/show emotions- ok I live in a liberal , university city , but the place is teeming with sensitive males into music, cinema, yoga etc etc

-Boys are increasingly "allowed" to enjoy shopping and take care of their appearance, and , to all those mums who are sad because they can't go to nail bars/spa weekends with their boys, well, I expect that in 10 years or so, no-one will bat an eyelid at them doing so.

2. As all the above changes, so, I expect, will the paternal MIL relationship with her DIL/grandchildren. If more dads are at home with the children/play a greater role in the childcare, I imagine the paternal PIL may be more heavily involved.. but what's really important here is how the MIL/PIL relationship is MODELLED to your DSs, which brings me to.....
3. If you make an effort to get on and involve your PIL in your sons' lives, your sons will see them as equally important grandparents, and , when they have children, will expect you and your DP to play an important role in their children's lives. If you ignore and leave your PIL out, then you are giving the message that they are not as important and your sons may well absorb this message when they have children. I'll stop rambling, but, mothers of boys, I feel there's much to celebrate about having our sons in 21 century England!

I agree. I'm off out now (day from hell) so i'm giving this a shameless bump.

Dont know why mothers of sons are so chippy about this, for me all children are great. Some get on with parents better later in life be it girls or boys and a nice daughter/son in law is pricless.
Thats what really annoys me about the endless MIL threads. Mostly its over-sensitive women complaining about MIL's who have done little or nothing wrong

I agree. I have one son (and 2 daughters) and he is wonderful. He is no 3 and I was apprehensive but he is my joy. I could not wish for a more loving, funny, affectionate wee soul and I am so looking forward to doing all manner of things with him as he grows up.

Yay for the boys!

I have 4 sons all in their twenties they persist in living "at home" All my friends who have daughters of a similar age, have waved them happily off into the wide blue yonder, but not the friends who have sons. They only appear to leave if they have a girlfriend/partner to move in withor are moving away because of work.

Love and appreciate your sons , in this day and age you will have them around a long time

I have a boy and a girl, and I don't see an issue.

I think that as men have more and more involvement in the lives of their children the paternal inlaw involvement thing will get easier. The problem at the moment seems to be that it is the mother's responsibility to arrange the relationship between her husband, MIL/PIL and children. It should be responsibility of the father to make sure he and the children have a good relationship with his parents and see them regularly.

If my DS grows up and doesn't come to visit me with the kids/invite me over, that is an issue between me and DS, not an issue between me and the person DS marries.

boys not showing emotion??????

Utter crap

Mine have been the most affectionate cuddly characters.

And I have a dd, so not being biased toward boys only, but where do these people get their nonsense from?

I was a great disapointment to my mother as i wasn't a girlie girl and she couldn't dress me up in twee outfits and put bows in my hair. As i grew i had no interest in clothes shopping or nail bars or any other such naff things.

I am now the mother to 2 teenager boys. I spend my weekends knee deep in mud on the side of a football pitch. Taking them shopping consists of me giving them money and leaving them to raid topman whilst i go and have a coffee.

I love my sons with my whole being and think any woman they do marry will be very lucky to have them as they are wonderful young men.

Kind of agree with Carolina.

Some boys are great, some I can't abide.

Ditto girls.

S'nurture innit.

I have 2 dds and 1 ds. They're all great.

I live in an all male house (except me.) Even all the pets are male.

I get sooo fed up with people asking me if I'm going to 'try again for a girl'. Why would I want to? Why do people not see how rude this is? I've never heard anyone asking the opposite question to families of all girls.

Without reading the thread.
Less long hair for nit-combing.
Less arguments about clothes.
Less silly friendship fallings-in-out.
They are much less likely to be sexually harassed.
More likely to join in healthy sports.

Specific to my son.
He can read the map and work the GPS system.
Can provide advice if I ever need to buy a fast car.

Don't show emotion? Can't go shopping with them? Don't tell DS2, 15! he is the most sensitive, loving, expressive lad I could wish for. DS1, 17, whilst slightly more 'aloof', I suppose, is still not afraid to let me know how he feels, still cries sometimes (like recently when GF moved away suddenly) Both of them are brilliant with younger children, DS1's current GF has a 5yr old sister who he thinks is lovely!

I certainly celebrate having Sons in the 21st Century!

Now that I've read the thread, I agree with the majority of posters: boys are people too.*

• but not sure if men are.

toerags - you probably haven't heard people say that because you have boys. Mothers of girls also get asked that question and also find it just as rude. I suspect some people just ask that question whether it's a mum of boys or girls because to them one of each is the ideal. And manage to annoy all mothers in the process

another mum of boys here, four of them and they are lovely!! as is my new dd who they DOTE on, they think she is marvellous.

my boys are fab and gentle and caring and yes they can be boisterous and loud and full of energy, but thats children in general isnt it?

and re trying for a girl, NO we didnt try for a girl, we tried for baby and were shocked and suprised to get a girl! adn tbh other than all the fun i am having with lovely girls clothes, it doesnt actually seem any different, a baby is a baby, i will let you know in a few years if there is any difference!

and oldladyinashoe, do i 'know' you

They are unlikely to grow up thinking that Jordan is a good role model or that becoming a WAG is a career choice.

I have 2 teenage sons and I've had all sorts of comments over the years from friends with daughters.

Well I'd like to shout out how wonderful my boys are - loving, funny, great company and even now with the hormone surges they are fab.

Have heard some real horror stories about once perfect daughters - give me my boys any day

Shall give them extra huge hugs when they arrive home in a little while

I ahve 2 sons.
I have 1 daughter.

They are both just as capable as each other of being a PITA.

But DD does tend to back me up when their is a family disagreement. But that is because she is the most intelligent

Carolina - Mums of boys are chippy about this because some of them, like me, are sick of people saying "you need to try for a girl" or "Don't try for a girl- you might get another boy!" etc. I find it really offensive when they say this as we lost an unborn girl and it rankles when people (OK MIL) says "Oh, I was hoping for a girl" etc.

OP and toerags- agree with everything you say.

I have 2 DSs and I literally look at them and think I've won the lottery. Just to have two healthy babies is double the gift I ever thought I'd get in life. Don't care about flavour, I just can't believe my luck to have them.

One of my boys (11) is bloody brilliant at quiltmaking and patchwork. He can use a sewing machine better than I can and I'm pretty competent. He is great to shop with, can cook great meals.He is funny and clever. Loves football and running. He is my child of choice to spend alone time with. Of course I spread it equally( ish)
He is also extremely naughty mischievous when with friends and I am expecting loads of trouble when he goes to secondary school next year.

I have two boys and would rather have had boys than girls.

Mine are 17 and 23, they have been the most glorious thing in my life.

Never fighting, caused me no trouble, never heard either of them swear ever.

Never seen them drunk.

One is messy, one is tidy. Both get on like best friends.

Girls? Pah my sister had two and they were the nastiest things ever, I couldn't have had girls. Orrible.

Boys are more sensitive, more loving than girls, it has always been said. So not sure where this shit about boys comes from to be honest.

Is this another of those thinly veiled "girls are shit" thread?

Looks like it.

It does a bit doesn't it sardine.