To sensitively and privately ask the dance teacher to separate my daughter from another girl in class?

[ScarlettWalking]

OK story is DD is 4 and goes to Jazz class which she loves. There is another girl there who is always really very poorly. I mean temperatures, sickness bugs, viral infections poor little thing. Every week she is in class looking dreadful and her Mum tells me how ill she is and how she has just had a spoon full of calpol, this week it was "just been sick"

I am completely perplexed that her Mum still brings her in. The dance teacher is lovely and as the girl manages to scrape through the class doesn't really know the extent of the illness. D and this girl are good pals and always pair up, hold hands. DD has caught the last few bugs this girl has had and I am really fed up with it now. I was thinking of having a word with the teacher but don't know how to approach it or if she will think I am being odd to ask her not to pair them together.

yes she msut breathe right next to her

Can you ask the teacher what her sickness policy is?

i agree, but since your DD is going to catch germs all over the place why not invest in some MJ-style surgical masks and an oxygen tank for her instead.

think of it as resitance building
and then buy and NBC suit

Is there an policy for sick kids?

I will ask her about the policy, seems the best way to approach it.

Could do without the sarcastic comments thanks. I spent the WK two weeks ago in Hospital with DD she was so ill, so appreciate I may be anxious about her health. It just doesn't seem fair on the other kids in class to me.

You have to admit, your post reads a PFB though.

Do you have any concerns for the 'poorly' girl at all? I would probably be anxious about 'the extent of her illness' as you put it, and be talking to her mum rather than asking us if we thought you were BU to ask if your DD could not stand next to her.

That poor little girl, I can just imagine how she feels having to drag herself through a dance lesson while feeling so sick

Have to say I'd be totally p*ssed off in this situation. This childs mum is being totally inconsiderate. Its bad enough sending children to school and nursery when they are ill but to a dance class that is totally optional? Coughs and colds are one thing but temperatures or D&V are so not on.

I would be having a discrete word with the dance teacher but to tell her that this mum is bringing her dd in when she has just been sick or otherwise ill.

Of course it might transpire that this girl is ill with something non infectious that means she is often sick / has other problems in which case it is not an issue for your dd. But common things being common its more likely that this is not the case

Could you have a word with the mum in question, and tell her that your dd is picking up these bugs from her dd, and point out that it is not fair on the other children in the class if she brings her poorly dd along (not to mention being unfair to the little girl herself)??

I would have a word with the teacher if she is bringing her in with sick bugs.

I run drama classes and would be horrified for myselof as well as the other children if parents did that. I keep to the same rule as schools 48 hours after the last bout of sickness though for common colds etc I do think that if a child feels well enough to take part they should come.

Of course I have "concerns" for her as you put it; she looks like she should be tucked up in bed but what on earth can I do about it she's not my own child and I have no control over that do I? It's also not about DD "standing next" to her.

The sickness policy is a good route to talk to the Dance Teacher thanks again those who suggested it.

Oh just seen latest responses. Thank you. Yes it is getting to be a very consistent thing, she comes in every week crying and being carried by her Mum (who is very nice) and kind of ushered in.

I did kind of pull a face when she said about the sickness thing and said "is she alright to go in?" but Mum just kind of shrugged. Again I will take it up with teacher. Thanks for advice.

I'm glad you have back-tracked on the title of your thread then.

It is distressing to children poorly, I hope the little girl fully recovers soon and your DD stays well.

*to see children poorly

if she has been so ill maybe you need ot keep her at home!

"loon" - lovely term. I am not talking about "coughs and colds" do some people actually read the OP?

I think you are doing the right thing by talking to the teacher, it will put her in the awful position of having to bring it up with the girl's parents, but that's part of her job.

YANBU at all, especially if this mothers selfishness landed your poor dd in hospital.

fuck me i LOVE an AIBU by stealth

hugs self

Scarlett-you are not being unreasonable trying to protect your little daughter from illness.I always carry a small packet of baby wipes and a small anti bac gel in my coat pocket (I visit people in their own home as part of my job and try to limit cross infection)Would you be able to offer your daughter and her friend a wipe straight after dancing,?,,you could say it it to get rid of sticky hands or sweaty hands from dancing or something like that??Good luck..!

I can't believe people think you're being precious. It's totally out of order to take a child who has been throwing up with a virus to a group activity.

Sounds like the poor kid needs a week in bed so that she can get over whatever she's got and stop picking up every other kid's bugs on top of it.

I think you should suggest that to the mother. You have a right to be angry. Her decisions have made your child ill.

Thank you onessa and RJ. It is no laughing matter when children get so ill and are not kept off to recover properly from viruses. I suppose some very robust children don't get affected but for the ones that are it is really stressful.