Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to always have a "What Now?" expression when they hurt themselves?

41 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 16/02/2011 17:47

Really, I have little patience with all the marlakey and drama over minor bumps and scrapes.

I cba with all the little fluffy wuffy 'magic kisses' and pampering. And gah, don't get me started on plasters 'making it better'.

I think that I'm being a lazy fecker great mom, and encouraging independence and bravery, but a DF thinks that I'm a cold bitch with injuries and should be cuddling and rubbing stuff better, because they'll grow uo to resent my get on with it attitude.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:

brownie22 · 16/02/2011 17:51

My mom had that attitude, (as long as it wasn't a serious injury!) and we usually ended up laughing at how mean she was. Some of her catchprases:

Don't worry, you've got another one.

Injuries to head: Don't worry, you never use it anyway.

It could be worse - it could have happened to me.

That sounds quite mean written down, but the way she said it was hilarious.

Her favourite thing she ever said was when I shouted 'I hate you!' and she replied smugly 'Don't worry, I love me enough for both of us!'.

As long as they know you love them it doesn't matter!

merryberry · 16/02/2011 17:58

i reckon start off with fluffy wuffy when they start to move around, then graduate to teaching them to self soothe and be independent from 2 or 3 with a masterclass in taking the piss running from about 8-38 years of age.

Dunoon · 16/02/2011 18:03

YANBU because I do the same
I was hardened by years of primary teaching first, when the playground response to children's scrapes from my colleagues was 'you'll live'
I well remember my eldest shouting 'it's not fine!' at me once
However I still tend to roll my eyes first and examine the wound second. No fluffies here.

ColdHeartedBitch · 16/02/2011 18:06

No UANBU.

Ds doesn't get any sympathy if he hurts himself doing something he has been told not to. He gets yelled at and in trouble.

Cuts and bumps and bruises get cleaned up and sorted.

I cannot abide the children who parent's who make a big fuss over everything. IME They are a nightmare for nursery workers/playscheme leaders who cant't spend 30mins dealing with one child because they got a bump or a scratch.

My and my siblings always had this tough love approach when we were growing up. House hold expression being "don't stand there dripping bloody on the carpet go stand in the kitchen".

Sympathy was given but it was low level an appropriate to the injury. My attitude is that you can see how good the holiday is in the number of bumps and grazes earnt whilst playing out, and through normal kid playing activities.

However, as i have more bruises then the average 10yo i suppose it hasnt taught me to be any more careful. Just deal with it as a fact of life rather then a disater if i get a cut or bruise.

thebountymuncher · 16/02/2011 18:08

Eye roller here too.
In my defence, DS spends more time on the floor after a tumble, than on his feet.

I'm also guilty of an unhelpful "careful!" after an accident has already happened, along with "I told you that would happen!"

DelicateFluffyBunny · 16/02/2011 18:12

I was a cuddler and fusser when I only had my DS1 but now there's two of them and they are always throwing themselves off stuff or "play" fighting I usually just offer to cut off whatever it is they've hurt.

"Oh you've hurt your leg? Oh well, I'll have to cut it off then."

I say it sympathetically if that makes any difference!

StarlightPrincess · 16/02/2011 18:12

YADNBU, I thought I was the only one!

peeriebear · 16/02/2011 18:16

I am very unsympathetic if it's clearly a minor bump, DD1 is SUCH a drama queen I've had to develop a thick skin! Such phrases as "You've got another one", "Ah well, worse things happen at sea" and "I can poke you in the eye to take your mind off it" have served me well so far.
Obv if there is real upset/distress I will mother appropriately! :o

Katey1010 · 16/02/2011 18:18

I knew I would get on with my MIL when after an accident my DNephew had (I told him not to jump off the platform), she came out, looked at him screaming and said, "well, you'll listen to Katey next time won't you.". He was fine and she scored huge points with me.

sharbie · 16/02/2011 18:18

i give about 30 sec sympathy and then offer to cut the offending body part off if it is that painful for them.works every time.

mumbar · 16/02/2011 18:29

YANBU. I have always been the same. You have another one being one of my favourites. For real upsets over minor injuries I go with the distraction of 'do I need to cut your leg/foot/hand off?, I have a sharp knife etc'. DS finds it really funny.

My best friend did/does -overkill-- fluffy wuffy and now has dc's who will go mad over a scatch, panicked about blood. Mindyou when they bang an elbow she is checking for blood telling me how bad it is when there isn't even a red mark.

I have to admit I was once quite mean to DS. It was icy and slippery out and I told him 3 times not to run and physically stopped him. He then tried again and fell flat on his face. He cried, told me he'd fallen over running and I told him he couldn't possibly have as I'd told him not to and he wouldn't be so rude as to ignore me. He had no answer to that - or any cuts either - so it moved on.

saffy85 · 16/02/2011 18:36

My mum's fave line for minor stuff was "ahh, it'll drop off tomora!" It's still her fave line now to all her DGC and to any adult with any ailment, be it heartburn, pmt or a broken nail.

My dad was a known drama queen as a child (not much has changed) and used to have all sorts of bumps and scrapes that needed making a fuss of. One day his brother and sister ran into the kitchen to tell their mother that my dad had a rake stuck in his leg. "oh for god sake, tell the dopey thing to crawl in!" said my harrassed gran with the littlest brother crying hor a feed in her arms. So he did. My dad crawled into the kitchen with the rake still stuck in his leg and

Deaddei · 16/02/2011 18:43

Oh I hate drama queens.
I am spectacularly calm if there is an accident -almost as if I'm having an out of body experience.
"oh you have almost bitten your tongue off ds" whilst thinking keep away from my white top with all that blood.
"stop whinging you've only fallen off the climbing frame and you're 2"- as he was still grizzling the next day, I reluctantly took him to casualty to be told he 'd got a broken collarbone.
Nothing they can do for that anyway!!!!
I am sure it is down to my hard northern upbringing.

superv1xen · 16/02/2011 18:49

another one here who can't stand when parents go completely overboard when their little precious so much as stumbles

i have a friend who puts "magic cream" on her DD for every tiny little bump or scrape. its just sudocrem or similar but her little princess DD screams blue murder until the miracle, cure all, "magic cream" is applied.

cannot. be. doing. with.

BeerTricksPotter · 16/02/2011 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 16/02/2011 18:51

I usually say 'oh, for goodness sake, what now?'
[miserable heart-hearted cow emoticon]

create · 16/02/2011 18:59

My 9yo got a "never mind" reaction when he came in with a "graze" on his head after falling off his bike.

I bet my face was a picture, when I'd cleaned him up and realised that it was in fact a huge hole requiring 3 sitches. NHS hospital fantstic BTW. Only there 2.5 hours, including x-ray and bringing in a plastic surgeon to do the stitches. as it was on his face. Everyone so kind to him, in a very no-nonsense way.

And yes, he was wearing a helmet, thank God, you should see the state of that!

NorthernGobshite · 16/02/2011 19:12

I pander to it a bit occasionally for easy life - a plaster shuts her up! But usually minor injuries followed by dramatic hysteria is dealt with by "oh well, best phone an ambulance then" said with sense of fun....usually sorts things out.

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 16/02/2011 19:26

Oh YANBU

I say similar to Brownies Mum for most bumps and scrapes and try to 'distract', but your gut knows when it is beyond mere drama fuelled histrionics and then I can be as close to tears as them

toeragsnotriches · 16/02/2011 19:27

'You're alright.' What i always say, even if they're not!

backwardpossom · 16/02/2011 19:30

My usual answer is "oh you neep".

My parents used to say stuff like "did you headbutt my poor table?"... and then go and rub the table better. I usually ended up laughing instead of greetin.

singingsoprano · 16/02/2011 19:31

YANBU- I've always been like that, even after this incident.My youngest dd had swollen hands when she was 6 and we were out-this was pointed out to me by another parent. I looked briefly and said, 'oh that;s not too bad' then told her off for moaning when she complained that she couldn't walk up the path. She was crying when we got into the house, so I pulled shoes and socks off, only to see swelling and massive purple bruises! Took her to A & E where they diagnosed Hennoch Schonlein Peupura.

skiphopskidaddle · 16/02/2011 19:33

I'm so glad it's not just me :)

mumbar · 16/02/2011 19:43

Oh yes the "have you left a whole in my floor/table/wall"

Have learnt though not to use the brush off lines with the DC's of fluffy wuffy parents - they don't take to their cherubs bumps to be treated as un-newsworthy.

mumbar · 16/02/2011 19:44

whole hole

Flip

1 2