to hate it when people talk about "indie" schools

[gobehindabushfgs]

in an attempt to make it sound cool, edgy and alternative? it isn't. it's private education. it's a right-wing, ultimately selfish decision.

"indie"

Perhaps the MAnchester Grammar thing was glossed over because it is one school and not representative?

joni

truce?

Oh xenia, I was just getting my point across about us not being snobby and you whizz in!
Please, please don't mention the Pimms at the garden parties. Please!

I know betty she ruined it didn't she

we might as well pack up and go home if xenia is on our side lol

I know perfectly well why some people choose private too,

The difference it that private school is ALWAYS an actual choice, which for the vast majority of people, state school isn't - it's what is available. In making the choice, you are also making a political statement, and perpetuating a class divide that is damaging to society.

And also, people are often not honest about the reasons for their choice - and say things which are patently bonkers to justify themselves. Which is exasperating. And they keep saying them. Which is why Unquietdad started his bingo card!

Lots of schools are aiming to go the way of MGS though! Even from a very selfish POV they need to to retain their charitable status. The school my DCs were at was aiming to go the same way but reckoned it would take 15years to build up the capital to support it. So it's a long term aim but every year is a year closer to it though.

do people have to give reasons for their choices?
I choose private school because I like the social aspect, it is a good school and it never crossed my mind not to go private. I don't care who knows but some people might. Why do they have to tell you

Seeker, what bonkers reasons are you talking about? I'd like a straight answer to this one.

Is it my reasons that are bonkers? That I don't pay for exclusivity or exam results. That if Mysic Meg told me 2 As and a B whereever they went I'd still pay. Do you think that's a lie? Or bonkers?

freshmint

Yeah truce

As long as you don't keep repeating my clumsy post

I will pm her I just don't like being told what to do

I intend on sending my ds to an excellent boarding school near to where we live. Not so much for the exam results but for the social aspect and also the networking that will open to him when he's a bit older. This particular school has an "old boys" society where the boys are forever in a network-which helps in terms of university references and job aspects.

Do people have to give a reason for their choices? Well, if they joining a conversation about why you might send your child to a private school they do, yes!

oh pmsl, seeker.

why would anyone have to justify their choice anyway.

and you cannot possibly know, when people state a reason for their choice, whether that is the real reason or not.

it may not be a valid reason to you, but it quite possibly is to someone else.

ong before I had ot force the state to pay for dd1's lovely exclusive school, I had her down for my old school.

no question about it, tbh.

I went there (while homeless, actually. it was a darn sight better than the sink school I wold otherwise have been in), and I didn't hesitate for a moment.

a glorious school, with just about every (educational and vocational) opportunity one could wish for.

obviously that didn't work out the way it was supposed to.

but to cut it down to size, i suppose I chose that school for dd1 because I liked walking around the grounds when I was a child, and wanted my dd to do the same.

is that a good enough reason to make the choice?

Well, Seeker? What reasons do you consider bonkers and therfore not being honest?

I genuinely would like to know as whilst I understand that private is always a choice I think these threads show that many people jump to huge conclusions as to what those choices are.

Though, if I'm honest, even lots of people who pay would have though me mad to pay when our state options were so good. But they didn't offer what I was looking for. To be fair, neither do most other private schools I've visited. But the school we chose was amazing.

OK.

"My child has to go to private school because he/she is clever/sensitive/music/talented"

"State schools are full of knives and drugs"

"I like the uniform"

"They don't teach MFL in state schools"

"There is no bullying in private schools"

"I want my dc to join a choir"

"I want to be with parents who care about education"

For starters. All of these have actually been said to me either on here or in real life.

well fuck off then!

Well 1. of all of those I think sensitive is valid if there has been bullying elsewhere. Music is completely valid, you can't imagine the music in some private schools. I did grade 8 cello, played in orchestras, quartets, sang in a choir in cathedrals and on tv, was in madrigals, sang requiems in mixed choirs of 400 people, staged musicals...
How much of that would happen in a state school?

1. some are. some people are scared of that. who are you to say they shouldn't be?
2. Bollocks. Nobody in the world has chosen a school for that reason.
3. MFL?

5.Nobody has ever said that either. They may have said chances of my child (with specific issues) being bullied are lower, they may have fled out of state because of bullying but we all know private schools bully too

1. See 1 above
2. Is that bad? Obviously some state schools are choc full of involved parents. Some are not. Again who are you etc etc

The only good reason I have ever heard for sending children private was from an acquaintance who works abroad throughout the week in a very high profile, pressured job. Her husband is also away alot. For them, private education means they don't have to do all that extra stuff that state educating families do - extra curricular activities, supervising h/w, sitting while ballet on etc etc. The school does it for them. They are happy to pay.

My Dd attends a school which many people on mumsnet local would not consider and readily advise potential parents to move away, go private etc.
She is really happy there, confident, reading well. Very diverse with lots of motivated, friendly, interested parents and children.

I was quite surprised at the level of prejudice people had for a school which they had never visited.

ps joni

You are silly too norman
is that really the only good reason? really?
read the thread

My children go to private school. We can afford it easily. I'm not boasting just stating a fact.

Why wouldn't I send my children to the amazing schools they go to? Seriously, why wouldn't I? It's a no brainer surely.

Yes we are lucky that we can afford it. No I'm not buying good school results. To be honest I couldn't care less whether they get all A* or A or any of that rubbish. I'm more interested in the calibre of the person they become. They aren't spoilt rich brats, thank you very much. They are just children.

I do feel sorry for those parents who would like to send their children to independent schools and can't afford to. I agree there shouldn't be such a disparity in the quality of schools. Am I such a terrible mother that I choose to send them to a private school?

To others who don't want to and stick by their beliefs, then congratulations. I don't see why you have to be so negative about others who have chosen a different way. It doesn't really affect you does it?

Does it matter whether my children were bottle or breast fed?
Does it really matter what car we drive?
Does it matter what social class we are?
Does it really matter whether they go to state or independent school?

I mean does it really? Seriously if it does, then I think that's a bit pathetic.

There, getting off my soap box now!

I did grade 7 Oboe, Grade 6 piano, played in orchestras, sang 'Gloria' and Bob Marley songs in the choir and two friends are now professional musicians. Two people in my class have spent time in prison! That's a comprehensive education for ya!

I bet you did Norman, and that's great. But you wouldn't be doing it now. Honestly. Most of that has been chopped to the ground.

One of my schoolmates was tara pt. We had the seamier side of life too!!! he he he

Oh fuck ogg Freshmint.

It's a practical reason to pay for education dictated by circumstances not some spurious 'Oh my child is sensitive,' or 'She really needs to learn the harp,' crap.