to wish my Husband were back in this country?

[fleurlovesroses]

My Husband has been working in northern Europe for two years now. It was the best career move for him and the whole family was going to move out there at first but "life" meant that did not happen back then and the current situation with our Daughter means she and I cannot go over there permanently at the moment. Therefore we are now having to maintain two homes and it is getting hard even though my own career is back on track. Am I being unreasonable to even think of asking my Husband to find a job back in England? He probably won't or perhaps even can't due to his contract but I feel unable to even suggest it to him. Everything else in the marriage is good considering the distance we're apart for a little over three weeks every month so I don't know why I feel awkward about broaching the subject with him, I just do.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting him back here or am I being unreasonable for not letting him know how I feel? Sometimes it's as though I don't have an Husband.

Sarah - The one where Justine is accused

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1151944-to-be-hmm-about-a-poster-when-I-PM-them-and-get-this

Oohh yes. There are some very odd goings-on here lately

The current situation with our Daughter is not something I'm going to explain further, suffice it to say it has nothing to do with exams. Her situation came about after the original plans were laid. The ideal is for all of us to be where my Husband's job is but for now that can't happen. I'm worried about asking him to move back because he's where he always wanted to be with his career. He offered to give it up when our Daughter's "situation" (what a horrible word that is) originally arose but I convinced him we would be alright. Now I find we're, or rather I am, not alright but I can't ask him to give things up just for me. I'm not afraid to ask him, if I analyze it I think I'm awkward about letting him know I'd be ecstatic if he gave up his dream to ease the pressure on me.

I knew that Fleur too - used to post on one of the ebay boards.

About a year ago it was posted she'd died - having previously been told by Fleur that she was terminally ill.

Name/details etc etc are exactly the same.

Bet he's working in Denmark Fleur ??? ;)

In terms of the OP, I can't understand why you can't discuss it with DH. He's your husband right? Surely you talk? No? Am I misunderstanding how marriages work?

For what it's worth, my DP is ex-military. In our first year together he did two three month tours of Afghanistan. It was tough. I'd never have asked him to leave (because he loved it so much) but was relieved when he did. His first job out of the army was over 300 miles away. We tried it. We hated it. I asked him to apply for something closer to home. You can only ask...

Lazarus!

FPMSL!!!

'situation'?
difficult to make any comment then, really. don't really know if your situation warrants you getting worked up about it, or if it's something resolveable.

is this 'situation' time limited? i mean, if she's pg and a minor and for some reason not entitled to health cover where he is, then that'll be sorted reasonably soon. but tbh any 'situation' that's serious enough for a child to have to remain in the uk is probably something that you'd need some family support for, so would be discussing whether he should be working internationally anyway. no?

fwiw, i'm ex-military and dh is still in. we've lived and worked in different countries and flown/ driven backwards and forwards at weekends. dd2 has cerebral palsy, which initially meant that we couldn't get authority for her us to accompany him on his current posting. after a bun fight, we all moved, and dd2's therapy etc has been resumed. we don;t live in a third worl country. most things are resolveable one way or another.

but, never mind. if you don't want to share, don't. but can't offer any advice as to your situation, really. as i don't know what it is.

seriously you can't ask him to give up his life .... its his kid as well grow a set and sort it out !!! Sorry but having kids is a 2 parent thing (if you are lucky) and I fail to see why its the woman who always ends up holding the baby.

Oh and PGM ... really ???

what have I done?