to wish my Husband were back in this country?

[fleurlovesroses]

My Husband has been working in northern Europe for two years now. It was the best career move for him and the whole family was going to move out there at first but "life" meant that did not happen back then and the current situation with our Daughter means she and I cannot go over there permanently at the moment. Therefore we are now having to maintain two homes and it is getting hard even though my own career is back on track. Am I being unreasonable to even think of asking my Husband to find a job back in England? He probably won't or perhaps even can't due to his contract but I feel unable to even suggest it to him. Everything else in the marriage is good considering the distance we're apart for a little over three weeks every month so I don't know why I feel awkward about broaching the subject with him, I just do.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting him back here or am I being unreasonable for not letting him know how I feel? Sometimes it's as though I don't have an Husband.

I I know what/who this is, but am biding my time (only another hour or so though, I need to collect DD from school).
Interesting that the OP hasn't returned.

Just seen your question manc. DH will pay the rent on the house in Antwerp, I will pay the mortgage on the house in the UK using rent gained from another property we own. Before anyone comes at me with a pitchfork, we've tried and failed to sell it.
DDs school is not fee paying, so apart from council tax and utilties and food, we need very little.
I don't doubt it will be a struggle, but it is important for far too many reasons to go into that this is the way it happens.

I keep forgeting the thrust of my points and not posting them.
DH will have someone living with him to help out with his rent.

then fair play to you if you are affording it all and the kids aren't affected each to their own way of getting through life xx :-0)

What I can't abide are the families who are living apart and living on benefits think it stinks ... I see it all the time, 'oh its ok their dad can stay 3 nights a week cause it won't effect my benefits' ...

I doubt I will qualify for any benefits. We left the UK eleven years ago. I may take in a lodger, but only a woman.

wonders who these "other forum" people were in their previous existance and if i know them.

what other forum ?

I've no idea if there is anything else going on (can't see beyond the nose on my face), but my DH is currently in Australia and has been there for a month. We'll be going over to join him (I hope) in a couple of weeks. My dc will be going to school in Oz.

However he has worked away before, sometimes for weeks/months at a time.

I would say the worst thing is when you return together as a family. In their absence you have learned to live without them and it can take quite a while to get used to having another grown up in the house!

I agree with that !! My hubby doesn't work away as such but he does leave the house most days at 4/5am and doesn't get back til the kids are in bed and then often works away mid week depending on where the work is :-( and he drives me mad when he is back in the house and he says himself he feels like he is in the way.

You just get used to being on your own and doing things your own way :-(

If you want to stay married, I strongly recommend living together.

also lurks

What on earth makes anyone think I'm dead? I am not now neither have I ever been, dead. How silly to say such a thing.

I am not now neither have I ever been, dead

okkkkkkkkkk like that makes perfect sense

Geordie I think it was irony

I also have no idea about the tangent this thread has taken >

Your problem is not so much that you live apart but that you cannot discuss an issue that has such a significant impact on your lives. Why is this?

TBH I am not sure that your claim that you have a good marriage bears scrutiny when you appear afraid of raising a fundamental issue.

DH and I live apart at the moment, we were all overseas but a high risk pregnancy necessitated a move back to the UK so here I am with the DC about to give birth and he is on another continent.

It can work. It has for us. Running two homes is frustrating and expensive and what we have spent on flights this year does not bear consideration but it was a short term solution to the long time gain of our soon to arrive DC4.

You really need to talk.

Irony is lost on me

So much alleged troll action tonight!

I just put this on the other thread, will put it here too but it seems that the box has already been ticked

First rule of Troll Club - Deny, deny, deny

why can't you move your daughter? (assume she is doing exams as previously speculated - but you presumably knew this when you originally planned to move over, so am a bit bemused why it is a surprise and has changed your original intention?)

Me and DH did it for ten months...twas' DREADFUL and we would never do it again.

It didn't help that he was in Oz and I was in the UK with 2 small DC and a business to run..we only saw each other over the summer when he got 5 weeks leave and came home.

He got sacked just before Christmas....oh how we laughed!

BeerTricksPotter... If it's the same one, yes she did. There was a big thread, lots of drama.

What other thread?