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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why some families treat a trip to the supermarket as a - miserable - family outing?

157 replies

IvaNighSpare · 14/02/2011 12:27

How many of you take the whole family with you when you do the weekly shop?
To me, that would be the seventh level of hell.
I don't quite get why everyone has to tag along, DH and kids, when the shopping needs doing. Whenever I hit the supermarket, it's always populated by huddles of family groups - bored hubbies, fidgety kids and irritable mums.
All of whom would obviously much rather be somewhere else.
I definitely prefer to fly solo, leaving DH to look after the DCs while I zip in and zip out, unfettered by sulky requests for sweets and toys and futile attempts to fill my trolley with crap (and that's just DH).
Alternately, DH can mooch down the aisles whilst I mumsnet lookn after the children.
Thoughts please....

OP posts:
saffy85 · 14/02/2011 14:38

It's a chore that has to be done and as I don't drive DP has to. I could leave DD with my mum but tbh she isn't a major problem- it's her dad who sneaks random stuff in the trolley and whinges at me to get a move on. Usually leave him in the carpark but need him to lift the heavy stuff for me right now.

bamboobutton · 14/02/2011 14:38

we used to go as a family group becase i don't drive and we used to live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest supermarket was 30 mins drive away.

now we live near enough to one for dh to drop me off and then come back an hour later and pick me and a heaving trolleys worth of food up. much better this way too as i don't have whinging dh and shrieking kids making me forget vital items.

Laquitar · 14/02/2011 14:40

I don't mind children. It is couples that get on my nerves. When they both stand in front of the fridge and discuss about the salami for 40 minutes.

MilaMae · 14/02/2011 14:46

I try not to but often have to.

Work all week,too knackered after work and prefer to stop on the way back from town on a Sat thus saving a delivery charge and petrol money.

I don't think anybody chooses to take the whole family but sometimes you have to.

I don't trust dp to do it on his own,it would cost double.

I often zoom in whilst he walks the kids veeeeery slowly across the car park,then they look at the toys and I've done half of it.Now the dtwins are 7 they all help.

To be frank I think they need to learn how food arrives on their plate,kids these days take a lot for granted. Last time my lot winged I showed them an empty plate and explained that's what we'd be having for tea if we didn't re-stock.I don't think one chore out of an entire weekend is a lot to ask.

Having said all that it's often hell particularly this weekend.I was half expecting an aibu thread re scathing glances at the couple with the v noisy kids in Sainsburys(we had a pet squeaky toy incident ie all 3 pounced and squeaked)-op you don't live in Devon do you???? Blush

mnistooaddictive · 14/02/2011 14:50

When I was a baby my Dad did the shopping from a list my Mum wrote. He came through the door with loads of bread rolls saying he couldn't find 100 but had got as many as he could and what was she doing with all these rolls anyway. She had written loo rolls!

With the best will in the world lists don't always work!

Tortington · 14/02/2011 14:53

i figure if i have to endure the misery of shopping them dh does too - cos i'm like that

my kids are older and dont come shopping as a rule

but ds came shopping with me last week, and it was actually quite nice, he carried the bags and packed stuff and put stuff away when i got home t'was lovely

Tortington · 14/02/2011 14:53

pmsl at loo rolls

haaaaaaaaaaaa

GnomeDePlume · 14/02/2011 14:57

When DCs were small (pre-school) DH (SAHD)would take them shopping as practice for holidays. He was right and it worked. They happily sit in the car for hours on end and on the whole do as they are told.

Niecie · 14/02/2011 14:57

Rofl at loo rolls. Grin

diddl · 14/02/2011 15:03

"Do you see my problem?"

Does he do it on purpose to get out of the shopping?

My lists are usually something like

Bread
Milk
Cheese

Lunch for Sat & Sun.
Blush

I find writing shopping lists very tedious.

bikermoll · 14/02/2011 15:25

And then after you've dragged the family around the supermarket you can take take them to the the adventure playground that is Homebase or B&Q where the dc can let off steam by running up and down the aisles , clambering over the furniture and breaking bits off plants . Oh the joys of family life in Britain!

SummerRain · 14/02/2011 15:26

dp simply can't find stuff in supermarkets... the amount of times I've sent him for one item and he's come back claiming it wasn't there only for me to walk straight into the shop and find it a few hours later is ridiculous.

Also, giving him lists wouldn't work unless I wrote a page long description of each item... if i just tell him 'eggs' he'll come back with small, battery farmed eggs with a cracked one in the box.

He also once brought me that elmlea whipping cream shite instead of plain cream and he invariably picks up pizza if asked to get dinner Hmm

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 15:33

Lol SummerRain, my dh is just the same. And no, I don't think he does it to get out of doing any shopping, he will quite happily do some if I ask him, but it's usually not worth the hassle. And I also had the thing where dh thought I'd written 100 rolls, when it was loo rolls, only fortunately he thought I was being facetious and just bought a pack of 6 rolls (which we didn't need, and still had nothing with which to wipe our bottoms, but at least I didn't have to work out what to do with 100!)

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 14/02/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

williaminajetfighter · 02/01/2014 02:07

Agree OP, it is wierd. As Laq noted up post, it's not kids so much as couples grocery shopping together that I find so odd. Something slightly codependent about it - 'we must shop together'!!

Frankly I can't understand why people don't shop online. Grocery delivery is available in virtually every past of the country except the Outer Hebrides, and delivery slots are available 7days/week from early morning to late at night.

OTOH I can see why some families might see shopping as a good day out. When we were living in rural Oxfordshire my partner and I were so completely bored that a trip to the big Sainsburys was like an exciting return to modernity. Also we were so broke that food shopping was our one 'shopping pleasure' so we wanted to savour it IYSWIM - as no opportunity to shop for clothes, treats etc. Perhaps for some the shop is a highlight of the week in lots of ways?

OpalMoonstone · 02/01/2014 02:29

Maybe people are popping into the supermarket on their way back from an outing somewhere else rather than it being an outing specifically to the supermarket that an evil woman has dragged her poor man with a sad face to?

Philoslothy · 02/01/2014 02:34

I don't know how people find old threads like this, it is not as if it is an interesting subject that you might search or something very specific such as an author or product.

We mainly do our shopping online, Sometimes we pop into a supermarket on the way home from doing something else,

MsAspreyDiamonds · 02/01/2014 02:38

I sometimes take the kids with me if I am feeling brave but usually dp goes after 8pm when it's quieter and can be home in an hour. Or we do it online but we never ever go en masse to the supermarket at 3pm on a saturday EVER AGAIN.

Caitlin17 · 02/01/2014 02:50

I'm a teeny bit surprised at the number of men who can't food shop. We take turns, never went as a family and only took son if one of us was on his/her own . We still take turns and only one of us goes. If my son is home I will take him with me sometimes for company but we split up in the shop and I don't see him until his weird food choices are on the conveyor belt and I'm paying for them.

Son and I are both night owls and we do occasionally go to a 24 hour Asda for ridiculous things at 3 a.m

Cerisier · 02/01/2014 03:53

Yup a zombie thread. Here in Singapore you see whole families with grandparents and maid all shopping at 10pm. The maid chases the tired fractious children round, the men wander and the females spend ages looking at the produce. They clutter up the aisles all for nothing. Madness.

ProtegeMoi · 02/01/2014 04:04

I do this, sort of.

My ds is autistic and we are trying to get him used to supermarkets as its a big issue for him! but one he needs to overcome to have a more 'normal' life. So I take him along for VERY short trips, litterally an item or two to expose him as much as possible. As he may meltdown we need two adults. I always leave the other children though and it's never a big shop, that would be cruel. Usually just posting a letter or picking up a prescription.

GoshAnneGorilla · 02/01/2014 04:13

Dh and dd do the weekly shop while I have a mid-sizedin. Works for me.

GoshAnneGorilla · 02/01/2014 04:14

That's meant to say lie-in!

Norfolknway · 02/01/2014 04:21

Couldn't think of anything worse.

It's a 1 person job

CheerfulYank · 02/01/2014 04:34

What a strange thread to ressurect...and yet, I will comment :o

I go with DH and the kids fairly often as I don't drive; or if we're making the trek to the nearest big city we all often stop at Aldi. The supermarket in town is only a mile away so when it's not freezing I do often walk there alone, however then I only buy what I can carry.

Even if I drove I'd probably bring the kids anyway, at least sometimes. I used to nanny for a family and they never brought the kids anywhere unless it was specifically a kid place. So they were 4/5 ish and had absolutely no idea how to behave in, well, any place! Kids and puppies, you gotta socialize em! :)

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