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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why some families treat a trip to the supermarket as a - miserable - family outing?

157 replies

IvaNighSpare · 14/02/2011 12:27

How many of you take the whole family with you when you do the weekly shop?
To me, that would be the seventh level of hell.
I don't quite get why everyone has to tag along, DH and kids, when the shopping needs doing. Whenever I hit the supermarket, it's always populated by huddles of family groups - bored hubbies, fidgety kids and irritable mums.
All of whom would obviously much rather be somewhere else.
I definitely prefer to fly solo, leaving DH to look after the DCs while I zip in and zip out, unfettered by sulky requests for sweets and toys and futile attempts to fill my trolley with crap (and that's just DH).
Alternately, DH can mooch down the aisles whilst I mumsnet lookn after the children.
Thoughts please....

OP posts:
muddyangels123 · 14/02/2011 13:40

I don't drive & OH works away during the week. I have no choice but to go shopping at the weekend.
I like to pick my own food/shop around, but sometimes i use online supermarkets.
My DD 9 loves to pick her own fruit/veg.
DS2 usually stays at home, he's 14.
My DC have always come shopping with me and i haven't had many problems with them. I just give them things to do/shopping list.
If they messed about i or OH would take them back to the car.

scaryteacher · 14/02/2011 13:40

I make ds (15) come with me so that he can see food doesn't magically appear in the fridge (there isn't a shopping fairy, any more than there is a laundry fairy); he is more likely to get involved in meal planning and cooking if he helps to choose it; and he can begin to learn how to shop for uni.

He also learns about the price of food and that cheaper butter is as good as more expensive; that there are ways to save money on what you buy and that buying food in the UK is sooooo much cheaper than Belgium.

noodle69 · 14/02/2011 13:41

My husband comes so he can drive and carry the bags. Also he wouldnt be able to get his treats if he didnt go as we are always swapping what we want ( eg booze and choc Grin )
I cant do internet shopping as I am work or out for a lot of the week. Im not doing it on my own as its heavy and I would have to walk.

Only takes about 15 minutes its hardly a big deal.

diddl · 14/02/2011 13:43

I don´t drive so my husband does the shop.

halfcaff · 14/02/2011 13:44

OP, how do you know which ones are they by choice and which have chosen to go and yet are looking miserable?
I have just thought of an occasion when we would all be shopping together - when we visit a certain 'budget' store (which is not in our town) on the way back from a day trip - tired fractious unruly children,yes, but it's worth it for the bargains and not having to make a special trip at another time!

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 13:47

Lol diddl, every time I send my dh to get any shopping, he comes back with the wrong stuff!

expatinscotland · 14/02/2011 13:48

MoonUnit, not every area has online shopping/delivery.

BendyBob · 14/02/2011 13:48

Oh I def agree - nothing makes us all fall out faster than an en famille trip to a supermarket. I've even seen very young children in supermarkets very late in the evening with their parents. Why all go?Confused

Bumpsadaisie · 14/02/2011 13:55

My DH does the shop with DD while I am at work. Grin

LeQueen · 14/02/2011 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 14/02/2011 14:02

"every time I send my dh to get any shopping, he comes back with the wrong stuff"

I find a list helpsGrin

He went away for work Fri-yesterday.

So Thurs eve he came home with a shop so that I wouldn´t have to bother.

I don´t really understand how a man can´t shop or cook tbh.

It´s not as if we´re born magically knowing how to do it!

TheProvincialLady · 14/02/2011 14:08

A lot of people have no interests beyond watching tv. Under those circumstances a family trip tp the supermarket must be riveting.

I do all my supermarket shopping online but buy veg and deli things locally, so I do shop with my DC just not at supermarkets.

I do feel for anyone who has to shop with their DC in tow. It must be hell. And yes, why DO some people take their young children shopping late at night? I went on one of my incredibly rare supermarket trips at 8pm and by the time I had finished at 9.30 the place was crawling with 4 year olds in school uniforms. There was one family whose entire shopping consisted of pyrex dishes. Who the feck runs out of pyrex at 9.30 on a Thursday and can't buy them at some other time without their 2 year old, 5 year old and 9 year old (at a guess)?Hmm

psiloveyou · 14/02/2011 14:08

In our house I do all the everyday cooking but dh is the one who truly loves to cook.

He will spend ages picking the right ingredients for incredible meals he cooks for just the two of us when Los are in bed.

So I don't mind doing the shop with the whole family. DCs like coming so they can spend their pocket money and DH gets to enjoy one of his passions. All round winners really.

BringOnTheGoat · 14/02/2011 14:11

It seems to me the OP is talking specifically about people who have a CHIOCE about how they shop but still CHOOSE to take everyone against their will! I had exact same converstaion yesterday - I go shopping with my DD and Grandad because DD loves it - if she hated it she would stay home with Grandad and I would go shopping alone. I cannot understand why some parents drag OH and Dc's around when they could do it differently - maybe it is soem sort of mad torture!

Niecie · 14/02/2011 14:16

We go as a family most of the time. DH and I always went on a Saturday pre children as we were working all week and we seem to have just carried that on. Plus DH likes to go so he gets some say in what is bought and what we eat and he buys his lunch for the week which I have nothing to do with. I want to go as I do most of the cooking and DH would forget stuff like loo roll and washing powder and just come home with beer and curry and nothing for the DC.

Occasionally we go alone if there is some important sporting event on that requires DH to be glued to the telly but I get complaints if I go on a Friday instead and I still have to go on a Saturday anyway for fresh bread which is a weekend treat in our house.

And if I go and DH goes, the DC have to go. they don't mind so much now they have pocket money and can buy magazines or whatever.

Alouiseg · 14/02/2011 14:18

I've wanted to start this thread so many times!

I know a woman "who can drive but chooses not to" so she drags the whole family round a heaving supermarket every Saturday morning. It's pathetic, it's just a chore to he done and got over with.

It's a shop, not a theme park.

schroeder · 14/02/2011 14:18

I've often thought this. Before I learn't to drive DH and DC stayed in the car playing cards whilst I did the shoppingSmile

Fernie3 · 14/02/2011 14:19

We dont have a car at all so on the very rare occasions we do go to the shop instead of order online we all go because both dh and I want to have a look around. The children are not miserable but frankly even if they were i would still take them, we all do things we dont enjoy sometimes don't we.

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 14:22

diddl, when I asked him to buy icing sugar, he came back with Royal icing mix (I wanted it to sprinkle over things, not make Royal icing). When I asked him to buy white wine, he bought red (didn't read the label properly, it was a white wine called Canti, he read it as Chianti, even though the wine was plainly white!). When I asked him to buy a pack of butter (we always use salted butter) he came back with three packs of unsalted butter.

Do you see my problem?

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 14:23

Oh, and one time I asked him to buy a cucumber - he came back with a courgette.

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 14:24

And these things were all written down, so he hadn't just forgotten, he just doesn't read things properly.

ClenchedBottom · 14/02/2011 14:25

Norman - does he have issues around size and phallic objects??????

And Iva - you've made my bottom's day (IYSWIM!)

BendyBob · 14/02/2011 14:28

'There was one family whose entire shopping consisted of pyrex dishes. Who the feck runs out of pyrex at 9.30 on a Thursday and can't buy them at some other time without their 2 year old, 5 year old and 9 year old'

ROFLGrin God I really do find other people's trolleys so damn interesting sometimes.

NormanTheForeman · 14/02/2011 14:29

Lol, no, but he does get words mixed up a lot. For example he once said his sausages were in his suitcase when he meant his sandwiches were in his briefcase. And one time he aske me what I would like for Christmas, so I said some Eau de Givenchy perfume (the only perfume I have ever found which doesn't smell like disinfectant on me). Wrote it down carefully for him. I received.......

a bottle of some Guerlain perfume! He said "Well, they both began with G....."

PlanetEarth · 14/02/2011 14:32

I sometimes take the kids, but the only time we all go is when we're on the way to or from somewhere else. I suffered the whole-family-shop as a child and now I'm an parent myself I can't imagine why my parents did that. I hated it, especially as it was always Thursday night and I'd miss Tomorrow's World and Top of the Pops Shock. It doesn't take 4 people to do the family shop, we could have at least done it in turns.