Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect more from my brother?

41 replies

backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:00

Today is my birthday. My brother posted "Happy birthday sis" on my Facebook wall. I've had no text, no card, no phonecall etc... AIBU to think he's seen on his FB page that it's my birthday today and he though "oh shit" and posted that on my wall? I'm not particularly bothered about it, just think it's a bit crap really.

OP posts:
Panzee · 13/02/2011 19:01

What's he like normally?

TrillianAstra · 13/02/2011 19:01

That is probably what's happened, yes.

Panzee · 13/02/2011 19:01

Oh and happy birthday! :)

Memoo · 13/02/2011 19:01

YANBU but that's brothers for you, not sure my brother even knows how many children I have Grin

FabbyChic · 13/02/2011 19:01

Well none of my family sent me a birthday card, no brother card, no sister card, no mother card, no father card.

think yourself lucky you got a happy birthday.

As an aside my son at uni who is 23 did not send me a card either.

It means less when you get older, get over it.

bupcakesandcunting · 13/02/2011 19:01

It is shit.

You know what to do on his birthday Wink

bupcakesandcunting · 13/02/2011 19:01

OOPS

Happy Birthday!

Original poster
backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:03

Thanks :)

He's normally, at risk of being flamed, a typical single bloke. I probably am being unreasonable to expect more as I could have predicted he'd have forgotten, but he usually texts/phones!

sigh

OP posts:
AuntieMaggie · 13/02/2011 19:05

I don't even get that from my dad's side of the family so I wouldn't take it too much to heart!

80sMum · 13/02/2011 19:06

He sounds like a typical bloke to me! probably has no idea that you might have liked a nice card and maybe a little pressie. I think you may have to accept that, although he may well be a loving brother, you'll not get any cards from him until he's married and his wife sends them!

ilovemyhens · 13/02/2011 19:08

My brother bought me two bottles of La Piat D'Or for my wedding present Hmm

(he was 48 with a decent job I should like to add)

(He also let his wife berate me on several occasions on said wedding day and they didn't bother to dress up in anything decent as well) Sad

MavisEnderby · 13/02/2011 19:10

My db is a lot younger than me,mid 20s no kids,so expect will get similar.We do keep in touch regularly on FB though.I think it is a male thing!

Original poster
backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:12

Wow, ilovemyhens that's just mean!

Not taking it to heart at all and definitely don't expect a present - just expect to be worth a little more than a wall post on Facebook to him, iyswim?

Thanks for the replies :)

OP posts:
ImFab · 13/02/2011 19:17

I have just had my birthday and my BIL sent me a lovely card and a gift card.

Happy birthday backwardpossom.

bupcakesandcunting · 13/02/2011 19:20

Don't excuse him by saying "it's typical bloke behaviour." Utter poppycock. My mother uses this as an excuse for all sorts for my brother, it gets on my nerves because it's like she is saying "aaaah, typical bloke! It's to be expected of them" so he will never change.

Don't give them a ready-made excuse!

fannyfoghorn · 13/02/2011 19:24

Join the club. i fell out with my brother recently for the same reason. Very annoying. Happy birthday! Buy him a birthday book and a big pack of cards + stamps for HIS birthday. maybe then he will get the hint Smile.

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 13/02/2011 19:25

"He sounds like a typical bloke to me! probably has no idea that you might have liked a nice card and maybe a little pressie. I think you may have to accept that, although he may well be a loving brother, you'll not get any cards from him until he's married and his wife sends them!"

Hmm

backwardpossom Happy Birthday*

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 13/02/2011 19:25

Oops, that * was meant to be a :)

No idea where my mind was then Blush

kazmus · 13/02/2011 19:27

would have been my daughters 25th birthday on Monday, so first one since she died in August. No phone call, note text or anything on the day from my Dad or brother, very hard not to feel bitter and let down.

Original poster
backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:29

Sounds like a plan, fannyfoghorn

kazmus that must be so hard. Sorry to hear of your loss x

OP posts:
Original poster
backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:29

And thanks for the birthday wishes, Chaotic

OP posts:
JaneS · 13/02/2011 19:30

Another Hmm from me about the 'typical bloke' comment.

But what's his behaviour like in general? Does he ever instigate meeting up, or ask you to come out for coffee/over for a meal? Does he get you nice things at Christmas? If yes, I would just accept that he doesn't expect a fuss at birthdays. Lots of adults I know stop making a big thing of birthdays unless they're big numbers.

JaneS · 13/02/2011 19:31

Oh, and happy birthday!

Original poster
backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 19:39

We live quite far apart but whenever I'm down there we do meet up for coffee/lunch or whatever. We tend to treat Christmas/birthdays the same - last year, for example, I sent him a crate of nice specialist beer for his birthday. He's a bit of a workaholic - works hard and plays hard.

As I said though, it's not a present that bothers me, it's the thought I'm not worth more than a facebook post to him!

Not worth bothering about in the grand scheme of things :)

OP posts:
JaneS · 13/02/2011 19:45

Oh ... that is a bit crappy then isn't it! Maybe you will get something in the post tomorrow?

I do understand, I'd be a bit sad too.