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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have got cross about early flowers?

44 replies

undercovamutha · 13/02/2011 16:55

I think I probably am, and I feel pretty terrible. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut tbh.

Been out all day doing traumatic fun things with the DCs. Popped to supermarket on way home. Saw DH getting me some flowers (presumably for Valentine's Day), but turned a blind eye and pretended I hadn't.

Was expecting him to hide them somewhere and present them tomorrow. However, we got home, DCs were fighting by front door, mud was being walked into the house everywhere, we were in the middle of bringing about 10 bags of shopping in, and DH chose this time to thrust said flowers in front of me, still in tesco's carrier bag.

I(authomatically, and somewhat ungratefully) exclaimed 'but its not even Valentine's Day yet!'. Being slightly perplexed as to why Dh would have chosen this particularly fraught time to give them to me. DH has now got all upset and said he doesn't know why he bothers, he was just trying to be nice, and he never gets anytime to himself to sort things out secretly.

Now I like to think I am a grateful kind of person. Unlike some people I know, I have no problem being given supermarket flowers rather than flower shop bouquets, and I don't care what type of flower, and I don't expect a huge romantic gesture. However a day early, by the front door, with shopping in hand, and WWIII breaking loose seems about as unromantic as it comes.

DH is now in a big strop and I am foreseeing a very miserable 24 hours ahead..... AIBU and very ungrateful?

OP posts:
TmiEdward · 13/02/2011 16:57

YABU.
Any flowers would be lovely. He's trying to make a romantic gesture.

YDHIBU.
He should have assessed the situation properly before giving the flowers.

TmiEdward · 13/02/2011 16:58

Now get off MN, go and kiss and make up!

rinabean · 13/02/2011 16:58

Why does it matter if it's not Valentine's day? Unless it happens to be your birthday/anniversary too, it's not actually a special day for you. Personally I like to celebrate with my partner on Cheap Chocolate Day on the 15th! :)

Katey1010 · 13/02/2011 16:59

He couldn't wait, how sweet. Go and smooch Grin

Ariesgirl · 13/02/2011 17:01

Isn't it nice to get any flowers at all Confused? No wonder he stropped!

squeakytoy · 13/02/2011 17:02

The flowers wouldnt have been as fresh tomorrow... so dont be stroppy! lol...

onceamai · 13/02/2011 17:03

He tried and that's what matters. DH has gone back to the continent early today - early meeting tomorrow morning. I have packed his card and chocs in his bag, there is a little card on the bedside table for me and we have mutually agreed that I will buy a big bunch of flowers on Tuesday - when they have been reduced!

DeidreBarlow · 13/02/2011 17:03

Are you married to my DH???Grin

Actually my DH rang me today from work to ask "If your nipping to Tesco later do you want to get yourself some flowers?"Hmm

I didn't.

It was nice of him to get them but no YANBU to wish he could have picked a better moment/waited till tomorrow. He was clearly very proud of his flower buying and was keen to make you aware of it!

strandedpolarbear · 13/02/2011 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 13/02/2011 17:08

"Now I like to think I am a grateful kind of person. Unlike some people I know, I have no problem being given supermarket flowers rather than flower shop bouquets, and I don't care what type of flower, and I don't expect a huge romantic gesture."

Hmm...no, that's not grateful! Hmm

I don't feel that DP has to buy me any kind of flowers, supermarket or otherwise. We don't celebrate Valentine's day as I think it's a hugely commercial waste of money (and flowers are a bit of a waste of money tbh - I'd much rather have a plant Smile).

I think YABU - he made the gesture that you wanted, just didn't get the timing just right. Isn't that your issue rather than his?

smokinaces · 13/02/2011 17:13

i'd love to get flowers today. in fact any day. all I'm going to get is a headache from a stressful day of work and the kids whilst the ex enjoys valentines with his new girlfried.

YABU

valiumredhead · 13/02/2011 17:14

I had my flowers early as dh will be up at 4am for work and so he gave them to me today. So what? It's only a day and YABU. Go and make up with him!

AnnoyingOrange · 13/02/2011 17:14

my dh thrust a bunch of supermarket flowers at me yesterday. I was pleased Smile

He also had two bottles of wine about his person and I was even more pleased Grin

valiumredhead · 13/02/2011 17:16

A good bunch of supermarket flowers lasts longer than overpriced florists ones ime.

valiumredhead · 13/02/2011 17:16

Oh sod it - strike outs didn't work!

Katey1010 · 13/02/2011 17:16

I got my chocolates early because I wanted them! And I shared with DH.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 13/02/2011 17:19

I am with you...it's not hard to think ahead and plan hings nicely. I would hate that too...it's like an afterthought.

But does DH know this? My DH had to be trained to do things properly...I like to lay cards and presents out on the breakfast table when it is a special occasion...he knows this now after a couple of years..I invoved him in getting things ready for DCs birthdays etc.

help him to understand why it matters.

ImFab · 13/02/2011 17:21

YABU.

He had to give them to you straight away or else where would they have gone? They need to be in water asap.

pommedeterre · 13/02/2011 17:35

Supermarket absolutely nothing to get sniffy about - much better value and fresher than florist ones.
I wouldn't mind the day early but he could hvae waited until kids in bed this evening I guess.

pommedeterre · 13/02/2011 17:35

Remember to get stems by 2cm before putting in water.

CityGirls · 13/02/2011 17:39

OP, crying laughing at your post, I can picture the scene! Bless, he sounds an absolute darling and typical bloke. I can totally understand your thinking though. Go and give him a big hug!

mrsscoob · 13/02/2011 17:43

I think you were maybe a tad unreasonable however I don't see why your hubby got so narky I mean his gesture was a bit rubbish, hardly stuff of Mills and Boons so I think he is being much more unreasonable to sulk about it!

got2bequackers · 13/02/2011 17:45

I got my flowers on Friday! I am just thankful he thought about it at all. Dd also found my card and opened it friday lol

twolittlemonkeys · 13/02/2011 17:49

YABU. DH went out yesterday morning, came back and gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers for my Valentine's day present. It was a typical manic Saturday morning, kids screaming etc, but it was lovely and I really appreciate it. Monday would not be a very convenient time for several reasons. I know my DH isn't very good at romantic gestures, so I really appreciated it, even though it was 2 days early. Go and make up! Grin

Original poster
undercovamutha · 13/02/2011 17:51

As I mentioned, I am PERFECTLY happy with the flowers. I was merely mentioning about the supermarket flowers cos I know a fair number of people who are VERY sniffy about them - hate carnations, think florist bouquets are the only ones worth having etc etc.

IMO I think florists flowers are a waste of money (unless for wedding/funeral), and I hardly ever have anything other than carnations in the house (last longest)! Was trying to illustrate my non-pickinesss but actually did the opposite I spose! Grin

Tbh I'm not even bothered about the flowers, or the suprise, and we're not going for a meal as I think its a waste of money - BUT it was just a really bad moment for any show of romance.

ANyway, have apologised to DH. He says he's ok about it and I really hope he is. He meant well I know!

OP posts:
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