Would you mention this to school?

[Rockmaiden]

DD has been on a weekend trip with school, only one night and returned today full of lovely stories about what a great time she had.

When talking about sleeping arrangements (she was hoping to have a top bunk) she told me that yes she did get a top bunk as did everyone else in the class and then went on to tell me that her friend who I won't name was the only one to sleep on the bottom bunk.

Thinking this was fairly innocent I said ' oh does 'friend' not like the top bunk' and the rather disturbing reply was ' yes she does but ' other child in class' said she's not allowed to sleep at the top because she has black skin'

I felt so sorry for this poor girl and then DD went on to tell me that she is the only firend this little girl has as the other girls say she is dirty and smells and they don't let her play.

I was so shocked that something like this was allowed to happen, the children in question are 7/8 years old so must have been supervised at nightime, why did no staff ask this little girl why she wasn't joining in?

I am thinking I may go into school and tell them what DD has said in case they are not aware of how much this little girl is being bullied.

We live in a very white community and she is the only child in the school that is non-white, sadly this sort of treatment isn't too un-common but this child's school trip was most likely ruined for something as stupid as the colour of her skin.

I just want to hug her right now, feeling very emotional. My youngest DS is mixed race and has not started school yet, seriously considering finding another school now when the time comes.

So anyway, what would you do, would you mention it to the school, child's parents?, perhaps the parent of the kid that was making racist comments?

Just can't bear to do nothing.

Please, please speak to the school, your post has really upset me.

My own daughter came home recently (reception) a bit upset because a group of girls had excluded her from their play. When I asked why, her 'friend' had decided to tell said group not to play with her on account of her 'having dark skin'. She has also had unwelcome comments from a yr 5/6 student last week in the canteen regarding her 'indian' appearance.

I hate having to speak to the school about this, but if I don't I feel I am shirking responsibility. I am grateful that the TA I spoke with is a sensible and experienced lady who dealt with the playground incident with an informal chat about skin colour at carpet time. Talking about these issues is difficult because they are so delicate, but I really hope you do. Fully understand why you feel so emotional.

Yes i agree. Invite the child over and encourage the friendship.

how did things go?

def tell teacher. The problem is that it is not possible to hear every thing that is said I am sure they would also be outraged and take this very seriously - it's always much appreciated when parents raise things like this so they can be tackled properly. Issues of inclusion are covered in class but sadly racism can persist - especially if it is a central part of the child's home life and it's important the school are aware in order to take this seriously.

It's also a good message to give to your child that this is wrong and that the right thing to do is to support the victime and make sure you and teachers are aware (as they have done)

I would def tell the teacher but wouldn't put in writing because sometimes children of that age do yet their stories confused.

The girl who didn't sleep in the top bunk might have been scared to or didn't really mind.

I would just say to teacher that you are a bit concerned don't go in all guns blazing.

I think the concern should be put in writing so that it is given sufficient weight. This is different from going in "all guns blazing". It is a sensitive matter and needs careful handling and the OP is evidently very aware of that.