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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to know why the Police are next door?

31 replies

oopslateagain · 10/02/2011 12:16

I just looked out the window and there is a police van parked at the kerb.

I have shamelessly opened my downstairs loo windown that faces next door but I can't hear anything.

I want to know what's going on!

I came home last week and there was a police car parked outside my house blocking my driveway and two policemen on our shared path, I was all Confused bloody hell I've only been gone half an hour what has dh done!
I opened my window and asked the cops "is evrything all right?" and he said, yes, fine, we'll move the car so you can park. And then they both disappeared into next door.

I have seen my neighbour (DN? Grin) several times since and she hasn't mentioned it, I felt a bit awkward bringing it up. We aren't 'mates' but we do chat a little bit when we see each other outside.

I am a nosey cow, I know! But WHAT are the police doing there?

AIBU to mention it next time I see DN? And how the hell do I bring it up? I mean it's not like I could miss the bloody big police car sitting there, but if she doesn't want to tell me about it then it's her business and I don't want her to be feeling awkward by me 'putting her on the spot'.

OP posts:
SnowieBear · 10/02/2011 12:18

YABVU - put yourself on her shoes, if it is relevant to you, the police will tell you about it, otherwise, keep your nose off it!

headfairy · 10/02/2011 12:19

yabu, keep your nose out. It could be some terrible tragedy, or something terribly private.

GypsyMoth · 10/02/2011 12:19

keep out of it!

Fraochsmum · 10/02/2011 12:19

I don't think you ABU to want to know, but I wouldn't ask DN either! It really could relate to anything and could be particularly sensitive. If they were arresting her/him that might be different!

scurryfunge · 10/02/2011 12:20

There are so many reasons why a police car could be there and I bet not many of them involve you.

Shakirasma · 10/02/2011 12:20

YABU would you want you neighbours gossiping about you and trying to find out your private business?

Pootles2010 · 10/02/2011 12:21

Sorry, you really need to keep your nose out. If the police are involved its probably not the sort of thing to gossip about.

If you actually care about her next time you see her say hi, how are you, and maybe if she seems like she'd want to, invite her for a coffee. But should be with aim of being nice neighbour not finding out gossip!

LaWeaselMys · 10/02/2011 12:21

It's a boring answer but if she's got small children they might have called 999, or she could have had her phone stolen - anything really! And the not very interesting answers hugely outweigh the mildly interesting ones!

PlanetEarth · 10/02/2011 12:22

None of your business, I'd say! Of course you're curious, but really... We've had the police round looking for neighbours a couple of times. Once a neighbour's sister had died and they couldn't track him down to inform him, the other I never did find out about. Oh and a couple of police visits for damaged cars, domestic disputes, etc. It could be a whole variety of things, none of which are anything to do with you!

ambarth · 10/02/2011 12:22

She could have been the victim of something so I would be disinclined to ask myself. I would be as curious as you though!

tigana · 10/02/2011 12:23

I think your curiousity is normal.
I don't think you should ask.

I cannot comment on whether you are BU or BR. You are def. being human though.

onimolap · 10/02/2011 12:25

YANBU to want to know.

YWBVU to think that you'd be told.

Whether/how you broach it with your neighbours depends on what relationship you've had with them already. Unless close, I wouldn't mention it; and even if, then low-key (" I hope everything is all right", rather than "Why are the cops here").

JBellingham · 10/02/2011 12:25

Maybe they are complaining about their neighbours spying on them through toilet windows?

HMTheQueen · 10/02/2011 12:29

I have this too! My across the road neighbours have had the police at their place a few times (well, a car outside). A few nights ago I got home to find 3 police cars outside and one of them with a police lady standing at the door of one of the cars talking to someone in the backseat.

I have absolutely no idea why they are there or what they are doing... but I want to know. For no reason other than I am a nosey cow. Grin

But alas, I doubt I will find out as the neighbour and I don't know each other. Blush

Original poster
oopslateagain · 10/02/2011 12:30

Grin JBellingham they're more likely to complain about the phone tapping and me hiding in their bushes!!!

Bugger. So I won't ask her.

I am dying of curiosity here.

I am sure there's no big family tragedy, she was all normal and chipper and friendly the day after the last police visit.

I can see the curtains twitching across the street, I bet ALL the neighbours are being just as nosy as me!

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 10/02/2011 12:33

OMG YAMDBU. It's usual to wonder about these things but you can't ask her!

mummiehunnie · 10/02/2011 12:34

If there has been a past dv incident the police will come to the home to take new statements.

Timeforabiscuit · 10/02/2011 12:35

Honestly keep out of it,

When that happened near me it was a rape in the home,

If your desperate the police.uk maps will show you next month - or just phone up the police station asking what incident type it was so you can secure your property appropriately??

Timeforabiscuit · 10/02/2011 12:36

*you're

TotemPole · 10/02/2011 12:36

If the police have been there more than once then that suggests an ongoing problem. I don't think it's unreasonable to want to know what's going on.

GypsyMoth · 10/02/2011 12:36

do they have teens?? (i do)

scurryfunge · 10/02/2011 12:38

My neighbours once came over to me on Christmas morning as there was a police van and two pandas parked outside my house. They asked if everything was ok and could they help not realising I was a police officer and was cooking a Christmas breakfast for my shift. (I was annual leave).

So it may not be sinister at all. Smile

ThreIsNoSpoon · 10/02/2011 12:41

This is so not the way I thought the thread would go! Considering the one where the policeman threw up and the sisters were keeping tabs and everyone was asking for update about what and opened under the tent tat ad been erected!

OP - I would want to know too, but I wouldnt ask!

Original poster
oopslateagain · 10/02/2011 12:42

Yes they have 2 teenage girls. And they had marital problems last year due to her drinking, she did move out for a while but they sorted it and she came home.

I used to hear the shouting/screaming rows they had Sad it was awful to hear.

The older girl is a bit of a handful.

I do get that I shouldn't ask whats going on. I don't think IABU to bloody wonder though!

It's like the Elephant In The Room. It's obvious, we can all see it but we mustn't mention it.

OP posts:
Original poster
oopslateagain · 10/02/2011 12:44

Blimey Nospoon I missed that one!

(goes off to search for it)
(insert nosy emoticon) Grin

OP posts:
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