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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

. . . or is DH being a twat in relation to food hygiene?

64 replies

Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:04

Could well be me, but see what you think.

I have been ill so went to bed early last night, leaving DH to make up 6 bottles for DS (4 months) for today. He forgot to put them in the fridge over night and they sat out in the kitchen for 13 hours.

I got up with DS this morning. DH was also getting up for work. I grabbed a bottle (DH had put them in the fridge when he realised his mistake this morning!) and started warming it.

DH told me he'd left them out all night, shrugged and told me to give one to DS anyway on the basis that our kitchen is "quite cold". It's not really, it's about 20 degrees and DH is aware of the guidelines for storing formula. DS was crying as hadn't had a feed for 12 hours.

I got pissed off at this point - not that DH had forgotten in the first place, but that he seemed so casual about giving DS milk that had been sat out for 13 hours when he must know it's unsafe. I started tipping out the bottles, sterilising, boiling the kettle again etc. TBH I was a bit pissed off that he had forgotten as now DS would be upset for half an hour or so while I sorted out a bottle for him.

DH then lost his temper with me and told me that he was going to work, I was being ridiculous and my reaction was totally disproportionate. I did get quite upset because I felt he'd got my day off to a shite start and had been a twat.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/02/2011 09:05

Six of one half a dozen of another I'd say.

bosch · 10/02/2011 09:07

Not at all. I'd take all sort of food hygiene risks with my own food but not with milk for a 4 month old.

Lainey1981 · 10/02/2011 09:08

YANBU. Your DS could get ill from formula left at room temperature, not worth the risk.

I wouls have been furious too.

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:08

bosch - yes, that's what I think. I'd put milk in my own tea if it had been sat out of the fridge without thinking about it much but it's not worth the risk for a 4 month old. A couple of hours, possibly, but not 13!

OP posts:
Louii · 10/02/2011 09:08

Don't guidelines say not to make up in advance anyway, maybe as much hygiene probs as making in advance as leaving out overnight?

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:09

Louii - the guidelines say that you can make in advance, cool quickly, put straight in fridge and then store for up to 24 hours.

OP posts:
diddl · 10/02/2011 09:12

Well tbh, I thougt that you weren´t supposed to store in the fridge at all, but to make it as you need it.

But if you had to store in the fridge it should be a max of 12hrs.

So I´d be dumping the whole lot anyway tbh.

Louii · 10/02/2011 09:12

Ah sorry have never used formula, just thought I had read that somewhere.
In that case yes he is being a twat Grin

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:13

Unless the guidelines have changed in the last few weeks, he D of H and FSA advise that you can store for 24 hours in the fridge. I checked with my health visitor before doing it!

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 10/02/2011 09:13

Why is it always 'am I being unreasonable or is DH being a twat'?

Couldn't it be that he is not a twat, but merely unreasonable?

Is your kitchen really 20 degrees overnight?

holyShmoley · 10/02/2011 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImFab · 10/02/2011 09:14

I used to make the bottles up just with water and add the formula as and when needed. baby had milk at room temperature no problem and only water wasted if not drunk.

pissedrightoff · 10/02/2011 09:15

YANBU at all. Not worth taking the risk IMO.
Your DH sounds a bit like mine when he knows he's done something a bit shit, rather than apologising or sorting it out, he has a strop and tries to make it my fault.

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:15

Trillian - yes, it could be that he is being merely unreasonable or he could be being unreasonable and a twat or he could be being neither. Yep, our entire flat is about 20 degrees overnight at the moment. It's been quite mild here.

OP posts:
Grumpla · 10/02/2011 09:15

Yanbu, your DH is being a twat.

If the delay is that you are following te instructions e.g boiling kettle and leaving it to sit for thirty mins, when ds was still tiny we used to boil water, then cool in sterilized bottle in fridge, then mix with fresh boiled water to make up instant feeds.

I felt this was a) much quicker and b) far more hygienic to cool water rapidly and keep it cold than to have it sitting around tepid.

I also thought this was probably more hygienic than preparing feeds ages in advance, but I am not a microbiologist or anything!

By the time ds was drinking unboiled tap water I just made up with boiling and topped up with fresh cold tapwater to cool. I still sterilize all the bottles etc though.

FabbyChic · 10/02/2011 09:18

20 degrees is not mild that is very warm!

BertieBasset · 10/02/2011 09:21

Just for future reference, I'd keep some cartons in. That way when you do have some sort of accident with the formula you can still feed ds without him screaming for 30 mins waiting for the water to cool.

I would never have fed my dd formula that had been out that long. When ready to drink (I used a flask) then the bottle had 2 hours tops and was binned.

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:22

Is 20 degrees very warm? Well it is the warmest room in the flat, hence the need for DH to put the bottles in the fridge . . .

Grumpia - yes, the delay was in me following the instructions to cool for 30 mins. Thanks for your suggestion!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 10/02/2011 09:22

Perhaps he just didn't realise? If you normally make up the feeds he might have just thought it was fine, like putting milk in his tea that had.been out. If that is the case, then Yabu to be angry, just calmly explain why it isn't on and hopefully he'll remember for next time. If he does know.and was just being blase that's different.

Al1son · 10/02/2011 09:24

YANBU and your DH is doing the classic thing of thinking it can't happen to his baby because he hasn't seen it happen.

If you gave your DH the bottles there's a good chance that he would be fine and then your DH would think he has been proved right.

There is a chance however that one of those bottles contained a tiny bit of a really nasty food poisoning bug like E-coli and it had been sitting multiplying all night. He wouldn't be able to taste or smell it and would happily have fed it to your DS. He could have ended up vomiting a few times or in hospital or with permanent kidney damage or dead. What's the point in taking that risk to save the cost of a bit of formula?

AtYourCervix · 10/02/2011 09:24
  1. your DH is BU. 13 hrs at room temp would be a lovely breeding ground for all sorts of milk bugs.
  1. Current guideline is to make up formula feeds one at a time as needed, NOT to make up 6 and store in the fridge.
Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:24

Bertie - yes, am definitely going to make sure we have some cartons for future emergencies. I felt terrible knowing he must have been bloody hungry, though watching a bit of Daybreak seemed to calm him for a bit Grin

OP posts:
Al1son · 10/02/2011 09:25

If you gave your DH the bottles you would BU! I meant if you gave your DS the bottles!

Original poster
Honeybee79 · 10/02/2011 09:27

Thanks for input . . .

Ninky - DH is definitely aware that he shouldn't leave bottles out of the fridge.

OP posts:
Lainey1981 · 10/02/2011 09:28

imfab the water needs to bemat least 70degrees when making up the bottles. This is because it's not the water being made sterile, but the milk powder itself.